December 12, 2006
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I LIKE TO HIT MYSELF IN THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER BECAUSE IT FEELS SO GOOD WHEN I QUIT
Is there someone in your life that makes you completely insane? Is there someone you deal with on a daily basis who rubs you the wrong way to such a degree that you fantasize about running over them with a truck and then backing up to see what you hit…repeatedly? If such a person exists in your life; does simply seeing them walk into the room make you want to reach for the bottle of Jack Daniels that you have hidden in your bottom-right desk drawer? Have you ever pasted a picture of such a person on the side of a milk carton for the sheer joy of imagining that they have come up missing?
Such a person exists in my life, so bring on the truck, the Jack, and the milk carton…I need them all right now.
We hired a new individual at my office. He’s been here about two months now. I won’t divulge his position but I have to deal with this person very closely on all of my projects.
Just today this person has:
- Sent me 23 emails
- Brought up the same concern about a particular project 6 times
- Ask me how to do his job 3 times
- Called my extension 12 times (per my call log)
- Displayed an almost superhuman inability to grasp the simplest of concepts.
The office pool says he’ll be gone by Valentines Day; I’m praying for New Years.
I hate that I let this guy bring out this reaction in me, but I swear to God that hitting myself in the head with a hammer is more fun than having a conversation with him and is twice as productive.
I’m not making this up…as I was typing that last paragraph; he walked up to my office door and asked me how to do his job again. So…I guess I should quit posting on Xanga and get back to doing his work for him.
I’m fine, really…I’m fine
<reaches slowly for the Jack>
Comments (32)
I hope you receive a home blood pressure monitor for Christmas – maybe a second one for the office! How do you keep from going postal on him? He sounds like a workplace stalker. Ugh. I always wonder how people like that get hired in the first place? My sympathies to you. I hope he’s outta there soon!
Kathi
The title of your post today reminds me of why I ran track in high school.
I’ll put $20 on you strangling him by the end of the year.
Hey. Your posts usually crack me up, but right now I’m NOT laughing. Why? I have more than one person like that in my life! And since I don’t drink, Jack is of no use to me. You have my sympathies…and I’ll put $40 on him not lasting ’til Valentine’s Day! If you don’t post for awhile I’ll just figure you turned the hammer on him and you’re sitting in the “big house”. Have your wife let us know where you are and we’ll come visit you.
Oh man! Into every life a little moron must fall…
OMG……I had people like be my supervisor for years!….I was sure that corporate America simply promotes those dufus just so as not to have to deal with them!…THEY are the reason I went into business for myself….thank God I no longer have to deal with them…..uhhh, except when one like that becomes my pateint!….and oh my goodness are they a royal pain!…I don’t like Jack Daniels, but anything with Myers dark rum is just fine….add a little pineapple juice, and pretty soon it is “No problem Mon”.
Hey, if you don’t want to help me just say so!
But first, can you show me how to use this stapler?
hehe^
i can’t top that.
OMG…I (and my hubby) can totally relate to this post! lol….
I have someone like that at work too, I call her Miss M in my blog. I should call her Miss N for negativity. I have never EVER met a more negative person, if she won a million dollars, got laid by a celebrity, won a pulitzer she would complain, : joining you in having a drink:
Oh most definately. And somehow the guy has stayed around for many months now…maybe even a year…and he still thinks the member card we sell can be used at not only our store but our competitions store as well. He also has confused the plastic member card with the bars of chocolate we sell at our registers…claiming the card tastes like chocolate. Oh yeah buddy…that’ll get em running with their wallets firmly clenched in fists. There was the day he wore his V-neck sweater backwards for 3 1/2 hours before noticing the wardrobe malfunction. Yup that so easily happens…not like the V is a dead give-a-way to the FRONT of the shirt. And the kicker…the guy supposedly has some degree in bio chemistry or somewhat. How in the hell did that happen?
Makes me think of a quote, “Lord give me patience, and I want it NOW!!” Just think, if you can cope with this individual, getting through the holidays will be a breeze! None of the stressed out, too short on money and time, impatient, irrational, or angry shoppers or travelers on the road will be able to get under YOUR skin!
Yep, I got one of those. Lord help us.
We had a salesman who had that effect on me. Good news: They fired him. Bad news: They hired his doppelganger.
tonight at my kickboxing class, the teacher said, “surely there is somebody who annoys the hell out of you that you’d like to kick. so go at it!” so i pretended i was kicking my mother across the state. she has strict instructions to not call me until after 5:30 or later, that just because i’m home doesn’t mean i’m goofing around. so i was in the middle of a project, and she called. “i know i’m not supposed to bother you now,” she started, like she starts every call made that early, “but this is important.” as my uncle is dying of cancer, i thought he took a turn for the worse. but my mother continues, “your daughter has a blender on her christmas list. are you getting one for her, or can i?”
for christmas, i’m showing my mom my new kickboxing moves. . . .
Hey, we’re putting cover sheets on our TPS reports now.
Did you get that memo?
As always, I know that when I need a good laugh, I can come to your site and laugh. And thank God that I’m not the only one that deals with this.
There’s a lady in our office that a bunch of us put bets on when she’d leave. I said March. 2006. She’s proven us all wrong, though. She’s still around. (but thankfully, the other annoying ones have left. I’m sure that they’ll be replaced with other annoying ones, though.)
And I loved reading the comments for this post….
Yeah I got the memo, and well I just forgot…. what come in on Sunday….
Oh,….I do not like to deal with people like that….use the time to become more tolerent and refined!!!!
I think we all have a person like that in our lives. Mine is currently an individual who will bend my ear talking for an hour about someone I don’t know doing uninteresting, mundane things. You can only pretend interest and be polite for a short while. When the endless prattle continues, its time to put on the plastic smile, the mindless nodding while listening in on conversations going on elsewhere.
Hey! No reading and running.
Answer the question or I can’t post anything new!
What really sucks is when the person who keeps asking you how to do their job has been working at the company for two years longer than you have and makes more money that you do.
LOL, “Delbert, King of the Dim.” As always you crack me up! My problem person just happens to be our office hiring specialist and you know what they say about birds of a feather…well, lets just say, he really knows how to pickem. If he or one more of his new hires asks me how to fax…OMG…Where’s the booze!
Does your coworker read your Xanga?
Okay, just because it is a crazy, frenetic time of year, and there are only 24 hours in a day – doesn’t mean a new post is not in order! Or are you in jail for doing in the co-worker?
Kathi
Mark: Thanks for the encouragement on LA Weight Loss. Can I see your before picture?
HEY!!!! please tell me you DID NOT waste a good bottle of Jack Daniels on this person. Please tell me you didn’t. Save the good stuff and down the tequila to end the pain quicker.
“Maxwell’s little silver hammer goes bang upon his head…”
If you continue to do his job for him doesn’t that mean he will last longer? Just checking the logistics on that. In my last job, the property manager I worked with made me feel not myself. In the job at Dairy Queen, I quit after my shift manager, who was slighty soused, backed me into the steam table corner and I had to ask a customer for help. I understand how you feel. You know that if you complain it’s going to make you look bad and if you hold it in the blood pressure will sky rocket. In my case, I have a choppy job history because I refuse to tolerate the behavior. Hang in there…the pool may be off by a few months but someone will notice eventually.
HUGS!!!
Almost forgot. Peter’s Principle: A person will be promoted to their highest level of incompetence. (Generally the people that make our blood pressure soar.)
Double HUGS!!!!!
I just stopped in to complain. Each time this year, my house gets the “Christmas Clutters”. It drives me insane. Stuff everywhere. Keep your eyes on the prize, and realize that a week from now, it will all be at the curb.
RYC: momofjenmatt aka laura
Sounds like the person at my last place of employment that drove me insane! I never could figure out how to deal with her. And she ended up being such a suck-up to the boss, that she convinced him to get rid of me although I had been there 2 years longer than she had! Ha Ha – I’m much better off now after all.
Hey, I have an idea! The next time you go into the office, be prepared to open your shirt and show him your “No Detail Man” shirt when he asks another stupid question…
tee hee! BL