February 20, 2007
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AND THE WINNER IS…
There are things in life that people dream of winning; radio promotions, drawings, sweepstakes, the lottery, a “get out of jail free” card, but the idea of being the 30,000th visitor to an obscure website written by a cheesy middle aged guy with a sophomoric sense of humor and too much time on his hands is not the thing dreams are made of.
Regardless, the 30,000th visitor race (well, not so much a race as a painfully slow crawl) has drawn to a close and the winner is:
Drum roll please….
For her clicking efforts Pat has won a three month supply of Vienna sausages and the opportunity to make my car payments for a year. I mean, really…does it get any better than THAT?
Actually, I plan to put together a short video of a song written specifically for Pat and performed in the style of Eminem. I realize the idea of me doing RAP is completely nauseating which is exactly why I’ve chosen to do it. I mean, if I can’t cause my readers to have the dry heaves, what have I really accomplished? It’s going to take me a week or so to get this together, not that I think for a moment anyone cares how long it’s going to take.
Just to up the tease factor, I plan to wear pants in the video that are 18 sizes too large and wear them securely cinched around my knee caps.
Just try and get that mental image out of your head.
Comments (16)
No need. My mind’s eye can’t get past the three month supply of sausage.
OMG I ammmmmmm soooo waiting for the video
But…it isn’t easy, being cheesy…is it? I love your sense of humor, and I can’t wait to see the video! “Dry heaves”! LOL
Kathi
Please wear underwear.
Your adoring public.
xoxoxo
You have a sick mind…perhaps we were seperated at birth?
dude you never fail to get me laughing. I never know what you’re going to write next!!! I mean, how does your brain come up with this stuff? Ohhhh…I think I know. You have teenagers.
boosted you dude.
I think I’m glad I didn’t make a concerted effort to be your 30,000th visitor!
Where’s my sausages? You know, being Lent and all, maybe you should send Mrs. Paul’s Fish Sticks.
Looking forward to it!
WTF!!!!!!!!
Yeah…it’s all about the sausage.
So what does the 30,114th visitor get?
Be sure to fake a tattoo or six, and during the “performance” make your hands and fingers go into positions that we all thought were physically impossible before the advent of rapper coolness. Personally, I think Pat should have negotiated to pay your water bill for a month and upped you to a one year supply of Vienna sausages, or “viney sausages” as I sometimes hear them called around here, which makes me want to hurt that person and hurl them back across Arkansas state line from whence they came. –Glenna (http://www.afridgefulloffood.typepad.com/gsspot)
Do you capitalize the B? I mean, am I a LaBouffer or a Labouffer? What kind of name is that anyway? French?
EDIT: Here is the link to the blogring:
http://www.xanga.com/groups/group.aspx?id=2440969
Become a LaBouffer!