February 20, 2007

  • AND THE WINNER IS…

     

    There are things in life that people dream of winning; radio promotions, drawings, sweepstakes, the lottery, a “get out of jail free” card, but the idea of being the 30,000th visitor to an obscure website written by a cheesy middle aged guy with a sophomoric sense of humor and too much time on his hands is not the thing dreams are made of.

     

    Regardless, the 30,000th visitor race (well, not so much a race as a painfully slow crawl) has drawn to a close and the winner is:

     

    Drum roll please….

     

    TROTTA109

     

    For her clicking efforts Pat has won a three month supply of Vienna sausages and the opportunity to make my car payments for a year. I mean, really…does it get any better than THAT?

     

    Actually, I plan to put together a short video of a song written specifically for Pat and performed in the style of Eminem. I realize the idea of me doing RAP is completely nauseating which is exactly why I’ve chosen to do it. I mean, if I can’t cause my readers to have the dry heaves, what have I really accomplished? It’s going to take me a week or so to get this together, not that I think for a moment anyone cares how long it’s going to take.

     

    Just to up the tease factor, I plan to wear pants in the video that are 18 sizes too large and wear them securely cinched around my knee caps.

     

    Just try and get that mental image out of your head.

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