November 29, 2006
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ON BEING AN AV NERD
Several of you have asked what it is I do for a living. There are people who work in the office with me who are curious about what it is I do for a living, so I’m glad you asked.
I’m an AV nerd. Specifically, I’m an AV nerd for the Glory of God (I’ll explain that in a moment).
Yes, I was the guy in high school with tape on his glasses who sat up the overhead projector for your science teacher. And NO…I still haven’t recovered emotionally from the lemon swirly you gave me in the 10th grade.
While the rest of you grew up to be successful doctors and lawyers, I have continued to be an AV nerd; just on a larger scale.
For example…my company put the sound system in the Astrodome, as well as the Denver Broncos Stadium, Coors Field, and Ericsson Stadium. We’ve done giant video walls for the Bank of New York, Cyber Warfare rooms for Northrop Grumman, and we are currently doing all of the video displays and electronic paging for the new Honolulu Airport. If you’re bored enough to be watching C-Span, you’re watching it over a video backbone we designed and installed.
So, I’m still the guy setting up overhead projectors, just much more expensive ones. And NO…I’m not just telling you this because I still have a chip on my shoulder because Cindy Lou Spunkmiser turned down my invitation to the Jr. Prom because of my love for pocket protectors.
Now, back to what I meant about being an AV nerd for the Glory of God: Because of my “pastoral” background, I handle our company’s business with churches. When you turn the TV channel to some mega-church and you see the giant video displays, the stacks and stacks of speakers, and the pastor rising up out of the floor in a haze of smoke that Motley Crue would be jealous of…it’s my fault. Yes, it’s true. When those Television evangelists tell you to put your hand on the TV screen and be healed so that you can send in a “seed faith” gift of a $1,000.00, I’m to blame.
How can I do this with a clear conscience, you ask? It’s actually quite easy…they spend LOTS of money on AV gear, and I’m a whore.
Actually, I love my job, and I’m very proud to be able to provide sound, video, and lighting systems to churches (and if you’re one of my customers reading this; I’m talking specifically about how proud I am to be associated with you).
People assume that I must have the greatest home theater system imaginable. Unfortunately that isn’t the case. Up until about a year ago, the only stereo I had in my home was one I spent $120.00 on at Wal-Mart. This is because the systems I want for my home would cost more than my home did and I’m incredibly cheap. I finally broke down and did a surround sound system for my living room last year. I will admit that the system is capable of shaking my home off its foundation (the way God intended home theater systems to be) but I’m still watching TV on a 27” set I bought 100 years ago.
So, if you have a question about the merits of 1080i vs. 720p, or how big your woofers and tweeters should be, I’d be glad to try and answer them, just please don’t give me another wedgie.
Comments (19)
I think my woofers and my tweeter are adequate. (At least the hubby thinks so.
I really enjoyed this post. I actually appreciated and admired the guys like you in my high school because you were not only smart, you had knowledge of things that are beyond my ability to even understand. I still think the T.V. is a magic box! I’m just glad when I push the ”on” button it works! When my oldest was five he was already programming our VCR for me!
Hey, Cindy Lou Spunkmiser wasn’t good enough for you! If she knew you today, she’d regret turning you down!
I was dying to ask what a “lemon swirly” was – but, uh, after reading your last line, I think I have the answer. :-p
You know, another reason you might not want a bunch of high-tech sound equipment in your own home might be because it’d be like bringing home work from the office!
“Spunkmiser”? Surely that’s a pseudonym, we can hope!
Kathi
So when a televangelist wants a $1000 donation… he really wants it in order to pay you for the video system.
And here I thought all the money went to booze and hookers.
Quite impressive. I have a small setup from my computer that suits my needs fine. Eventually though, I want to build a projector and set up a decent surround sound system, future wife willing.
Its nice to see where the AV nerds go when they leave the hallowed halls of high school.
Where do the angry, rebellious girls go? That was me.
I guess they grow up to write sarcastic blogs and thumb their nose at convention.
I have a soft spot for AV nerds. *wink*
LOL! I was way too shy to have given you a wedgie or a lemon swirly. You realize, of course, that Cindy Lou Spunkmiser is probably living in a double-wide with 14 bratty kids, slinging hash at a Howard Johnson’s diner, right?
Oh my gosh, you must be related to my brother Charlie who took over my Home theater project two years ago and put in the most obnoxiou…err, I mean wonderful(no I can’t do it), I mean obnoixious system ever….if I allowed it, the thing would vibrate the 60 by 30 ft. barn in which it is housed right off of its foundation, it can seriously be that LOUD!….when I am in there watching a movie I have to set it to the negative numbers just so I can stand it….my brother says it is because I have really sensitive ears, I say it is because he is as deaf as the dead given all of the years he has listened to such loud music!….LOL
I am in the process of changing our the projector from a CRX system to a DLP or some such thingy…all I have asked is that it be a smally unit and really, really easy to focus and fine tune…..we shall see.
I think it’s hysterical that you have a pastoral backround and you are a whore for money, actually aren’t we all?
Funny funny post, you AV nerd for God…. and hey, sorry bout that swirly.
I think you are an AV Pimp my man
When my lotto numbers come in… I know who I’m hiring as a consultant.
Woofers and Tweeters…lol…those words ALWAYS put a smile on my face….not sure why because there is nothing onery about them….except when I think about them. lol This was a great post and I will now forever think of you when I am writing my check to that preacher-man on tv in his brown leisure sui,t who tells me I will have EVERYTHING by sending him some funds!
Sony has a 58″ flat screen with a gazillion jillion dpi or whatever it is that makes the picture look so freaking amazing. It’s around $9500. Can you get it for me wholesale?
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
What about those cheap Vizio plasmas? Are they really a deal at $1700 for a 50″er?
C’mon… there has to be some benefit to being friends with an AV nerd!
Your dangerously close to doing the same thing as my brother in law, he installs cameras and monitors too…but its security related not entertainment related….but even still, yall are in the same general area and from reading your posts all this time I think the two of you probably are living parallel lives.
Nerds Rule! (Been happily married to one for 23 years)
OH! OH! oh! oh! Me, me, in the front row! I have questions about 1080dpi and LCD v.Plasma and 19:1 v. whateverelse; since prices are dropping so well . . . And, since I was too busy cutting class and hanging out at the beach most of my high school years, I couldn’t've been the one who weggied you, so may I save my question(s) for later when I’m readier to purchase? hmmm? [gee, reading this, I think I shouldn't've skipped English/grammar so often. Eh, it's Xanga, who cares?]
Seriously? The astrodome? I guess I owe you a personal thank-you.
Did you do the Joel Olsteen church here? It’s friggin huge and I’ve never been inside but I assume they have some sort of AV setup.