September 18, 2006
-
TODAY’S YOUNG-UNS AND THEIR DEVIL MUSIC
Holy crap…I have become my father.
Before I explain my decent into geezer-hood, I would like to begin this post by responding to those of you of the female persuasion who suggested below that the answer to the “male accuracy” issue is for men to pee sitting down. My God women…is it not enough that we feign sensitivity? Is it not enough that we willingly go to chick flicks? Is it not enough that you send us to the grocery store to buy feminine hygiene products? Must you completely emasculate us by taking away our God given right to whip it out and demonstrate our urinary prowess by peeing from a standing position? I say shame on you…shame on you and your daughters!!!
Ok, I feel better now. Back to why I’m an old fart.
I’ve mentioned before that when I was a teenager, my father would scream at me to “turn that crap down” when he heard me in my room playing the drum solo from “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” for the 813th time on my eight-track tape player. I’ve also mentioned that I swore that I would never judge my children’s music that way my father judged mine.
But then Jamie came to live with us.
It’s not that I’m judging her music; it’s just that, like my father, I’m simply too old to understand it. As a teenager I had the capacity to fully appreciate the brilliance of lyrics as profound as:
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey,
Don’t you know that love you?
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby,
Don’t you know that I’ll always be true?
The subtle sub-text and adroit metaphor were lost on my father, however, in much the same way the appeal of her music is lost on me.
She is a big fan of a group called “Autumn Offering.” When she first told me about the band I thought it was a lovely name. I immediately thought of Stravinsky’s “The Rite of Spring” and assumed it must be something similar.
Not so much…
…it’s really more like “Rite of Ritual Sacrifice.” As a musician, I can appreciate the speed and accuracy of the drummer. I can appreciate the intricate guitar riffs. I can even appreciate the numbing bass line, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to appreciate the vocals. Jamie calls it “great singing,” I call it “apparent castration.”
I think great music speaks to the heart and to the psyche. Music has the profound ability to alter moods, to inspire greatness, to incite rebellion, and to sell beer and shock absorbers. The music of Autumn Offering just makes me want to take a Valium and lie down.
But that’s ok; I love Jamie and I don’t have to like her music. I obediently drive her to school every morning with the top down and Autumn Offering blaring to within an inch of my speaker’s lives so that she can make a “proper” entrance…but the moment I pull away, I stab the eject button hard enough to make my finger bleed.
Today’s post is interactive. Take a listen to few seconds of the title track:
Now, tell me; are you a young whipper-snapper, or have you become my father too?
Comments (28)
Your link’s not working…
Here, try THIS ONE.
I’m pretty sure that’s them; although I didn’t listen.
I was scared off by the album cover…
I listen to strange things, from metal/sci-fi (Coheed and Cambria) to Mongolian Throat Singing – but when it comes to death/thrash metal…I have also become your father.
The music itself is intreguing. I’m always amazed by the kind of talent necessary to maintain harmony at that speed. Screaming vocals makes absolutely no sense to me. Not even a little bit. What’s the point? It’s impossible to understand. It makes the interesting musical abilities sound like a garage band. It generally only serves to make the group sound like angsty kids who really want to show daddy that they’re “hard.”
That said, I’d run to it.
At first I thought you were going to say that you now wear your pants hiked up under your armpits, so I’m greatly relieved that it’s the music that makes you feel aged.
Apparently I’m your father too. This group reminds me of Slipknot which is huge around here, being local boys and all, but ugh !! I don’t care for everything that my kids listen to, but I think I’ve been blessed that I do like most of it. Usually means that only one of us has to buy the new release, and the other two can just burn copies
Do you think she really likes the music, or the effect ?
No, I have not become your father, I have become my mother! I remember the moment when I said something to one of my kids that I swore to myself as a teenager I would never say. I actually turned around to see if my mom was standing behind me. Then I realized those dreaded words had come out of my mouth!
Great post as always. You have a wonderful sense of humor, you “old fart”! 
Wanna fox trot?
Man, those cats are groovy!
Whoa, that’s some crazy, crazy music. I’m 23 and that screaming is quite a bit too much for my ears. It’s pretty darn cool that you let her listen to it in the car though. Go you for being tolerant!
The vocals sound like Hulk Hogan burping out the lyrics. I have obviously become your father, too!
Some bands I’d recommend for Jamie to check out that you might like as well include:
Star of Ash (female vocals, hubby is lead singer from emperor and has a few appearances on the album)
Agolloch (a bit more mellow and you can understand the lyrics…even has a song called a poem by yeats)
Ulver (not all of their stuff is metal but even the non-metal is fun to listen to)
Acid Bath (not as much screaming as some bands)
Lullacry (female vocals)
Nightwish (female vocals)
Opeth (just their song Requiem from their album Orchid probably…but they’ve got amazing music…and sometimes he’s not screaming.)
Of the Wand and Moon (very mellow, but quite beautiful)
Winds (mostly instramental)
Sopor Aeternus (The Sleeper think Edgar Allen Poe)
My favorite is probably Emperor…but their vocals are less comprehendable than Autumn Offering.
I think it’s still great that you’re so open for her to be able to choose her own way along.
Ahhhh! I believe I have lost my hearing listening to that! Apparently I have become my parents too because I found that very disturbing. Couldn’t understand a word of it.
“I’d give it a 6. Good dance beat, but you can’t understand the lyrics.” (OMG I’ve become Dick Clark)
xoxoxo
So I don’t need to feel bad that all our pre-sets are classic rock and oldies stations?
I do love ‘In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida,’ myself; my high school boyfriend was a drummer and so that was practically the Holy Grail….we did think it was funny though that it got its name because they musicians were so stoned they couldn’t SAY ‘In the Garden of Eden….’
I comfort myself with the sure and certain knowledge that the kids’ music will never be the classic that ours is.
ah…I kind of like it….for exercising it would work well. Then again perhaps I’m immature for my age. I am concerned that it sounds like the kind of stuff Aryan Nations and all that would like. It is definitely anti-hip-hop.
I have most definitely become your father.
And I’m fourteen, so that’s saying something.
Also, someone above me recommended Nightwish– great choice!
Well atleast you havent carved an upside down cross on your forehead just to prove you’re “hipness”
Three seconds was all I needed to become your father.
And you’ve just made me appreciate my almost 17 year old even more. She likes the Beatles, Billy Joel, the Rolling Stones and Pink Floyd. And the more contemporary stuff she listens to does not hurt my ears.
Im still laughing so hard at your first paragraph I cant even think about that poor girl and her music….but I do have to ask…how did your wife get you to go to chick flicks? because for the life of me I cant get my Mark to budge an inch on that one…if I even suggest it, he waves me off begging me: “Please, cut off my arm, take all your friends, pay for everyone, do whatever is necessary but do not expect me to go see a chick flick.”…I’d consider the amputation thing except I know he’d just complain afterwards. …and feigning sensitivity??? I think Im missing out on some really good perks in marriage that everyone else must be getting and Im not. Seriously, theres gonna be some changes around here. Last but not least…”urinary prowess” …gimmie a break.
Hrumph, Men!
LOL at Lori…….The only movies we actually go out to see are definitely NOT chick flicks. Completely the opposite. Stuff like Star Wars, which was probably the last movie we saw OUT…..and that was over a year ago!
I went to that link for that music, and I must say, I prefer singing to screaming. So I must abstain.
It’s funny that your post today is on becoming your father. I just hollered something at my oldest son when he was up out of bed for the 14th time, and it was totally my mom. I can’t remember the exact words, but boy oh boy, I heard my mom. “If I have to tell you one more time to get back up to bed, I’m going to find that spanking stick that has your name written all over it……” LOL to that extent.
Hm…my friends also are intriguing with screamo. Good guitar riffs, but um…the rest? I’m scared.
OMG! I couldn’t even make it through the one minute sampler…. I need to lie down… can you get me some Valium?
My ears are bleeding. My hat is OFF to you for listening to that stuff all the way to Jamie’s school. You deserve a “Parent of the Year” nomination for that alone! Pass the Valium bottle this way when you get through with it, please.
Urinary prowess?!
i hate to tell you this
but
i pee sitting down at least half the time
BUT I HAVE MY REASONS
oh well….
RYC – thanks for stopping by – you are a hero today, as you were comment #17
RYC: regarding sheets—GROSS! I think I should call the step son and remind him to bring his sheets home next week when he comes for his court date…he’s such a good boy….Pfffftttt.
now, i’m a “young whipper-snapper.” however, i DESPISE all screamo music. its disgusting.
have her try listening to Bullet For My Valentine if she doesnt already.
They do have Some screaming… but they sing most of the time. it would be a better alternative for you so you dont want to shoot yourself from listening to someone yell at you the whole car ride to school.
oh this is funny. I like it all except i think the singing is just asking for busted vocal cords.
I became your father (or more acurately MY father) when I was about 40 and my eldest fell in love with “punk rock”….I knew the moment of geezerdom had come when I went into his room and announced that I was sick and tired of that NOISE and poor excuse for music and threw him a brand new pair of headphones and intructed him to USE them!…As I limped out of there I gratefully accepted my lot in life and went back to my den and turned up the radio, which was parked (where it continues to be parked) on KRTH 101, an “oldies” station here in CA that plays 50′s, 60′s and 70″s music….heaven!
My brother John, (the EX youth pastor) has started a youth group that he teaches who all listen to some sort of Christian punk type of “music”, the lead “singer” is called a “screamer”…ummm, pass the Excedrin!
As for the sit down pee…..my sweet husband has been doing that for the last several years, not that I ever ASKED him to do it, mind you, just that I insisted that he clean up after himself when he “missed”, he got tired of doing that and decided it was easier to sit down!…All this was well and good until our 10 year old son Chris found out he sat down to pee,….he informed all who would listen that he is now the only “man” in the house!….the little rat!
Gawd, I must be old!