S.O.S. FROM MIDWAY AIRPORT
I’m writing this while sitting on the floor in line “C” at gate B3 in the Southwest Airlines terminal at Midway Airport in Chicago. They just told us that there is a tornado watch and that everything is grounded. This means that I’m going to spend at least the next several hours trying to look away from the pink and green thong sticking out of the back of the pants of the 300 lb woman with the halter top and bright pink hair who is seated directly in front of me.
To everyone who has told me how much they envy the fact that I get to travel so much, I would clean out all my bank accounts and gladly turn it over to you if you would please come and take my place right now.
The current view from my seat
At least I see a convenient spot to store my pencil
Edit: After six hours of being exposed to extreeme butt cleavage, our plane finally took off. I arrived in St. Louis at about 1:30 in the morning, having missed my connecting flight to Tulsa by about 4 hours. The airline wouldn’t pay for a hotel room because the delay was weather related, but they did give me a telephone number to call to get a reduced rate on a room. I called that number and they told me they were sold out of all hotel rooms in St. Louis and suggested I go to the courtesy phone bank and start calling hotels on my own. After about 170 phone calls I finally found a vacancy at a Days Inn, where they charged me $110.00 for a room I’m pretty sure was being rented by the hour shortly before I arrived. I made it home about noon today and kissed the pavement. Unfortunately, I burned my lips because it’s still 103 freaking degrees here. Damn, it’s good to be home!
Comments (33)
I know it is a horrible ordeal for you, no one should have to witness such a horror, but thanks for the laugh tonight!
Aw, come on, Mark – you love the view!
Kathi
I say, ‘eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuw!’
My HUSBAND says, ‘oooooh baby! BOOTY!’
He is a sick, sick person. I think I must go smack him now.
Why didn’t you just drive that groovy car of yours instead?
Oh.My.God. That’s terrible.
YIKES! you poor, poor man! Hope you make it home SOON!
Damn those cellphone cameras. I just spent the day at Cedar Point. After walking around there all day and watching people, I guess I don’t have to worry that much about what I look like. My tackiness pales in comparison to some there.
I don’t envy you at all!
But at least you are seeing the “big picture” right now! lol…
Well……what’s your bank balance?
Oh Lord, please say you found that picture on the internet and that idiot wasnt really baring her butt for the whole airport to look at.
…and I will swap jobs with you if you want to, but only every other week…because I think were both getting the raw end of the stick but at least if we trade it will break up the monotony.
Pencil hell. You could store your laptop there.
Laptop, hell. We’re talking tower, monitor AND keyboard.
Thanks for the visual. NOT.
xoxoxo
C line? You’ve flown Southwest enough to know that now you’ll be unwillingly sharing a seat with that thong-clad beaut’ now since you didn’t camp out 7 hours early in the A line.
I’m sorry you have to be stuck somewhere like Midway. It could be worse. I wont say where I’m thinking because I’ll bet one of your readers is from there.
You know what they say about big girls and mopeds?
The least you could do is sign your name on her thong to let her know you were there.
Oh yeah! That’s what Willis was talking about…
I am so lame
Yikes! She’s going to need a shoehorn to dig that thing out again.
That’s really, really, really gross. That’s like the other day, the air conditioning repairmen came. A coworker warned me to close my eyes when I walked into the hallway–fat maintence guy, loose shirt, low riding pants standing on a ladder. It’s wrong.
Damn. I was like an hour away…
Missed the opportunity of a lifetime.
no crack… doesn’t count.
LOL I love Chicago so much… I would have loved being stranded there….cept I probably would have used that as a good excuse to stay over an extra few days.
I’m with Jordan …C-Line???? Isn’t that risking the worst seat on the plane…like next to the fat chic with the thong.
LOL….you are so funny.
I am just bopping around Xanga, trying to find people older than 12, and I came upon your Mona Lisa. You are so funny!
The picture reminds me of one I took at a softball game in Alaska. I’ll have to post it some day….LOL
OMG!…I hate thongs on anyone (especially my 15 year old daughtr!)…but that one?…THAT JUST WORNG!…and that coming form a fat chick, I don’t know what would posses one of my “chunky sisters” to wear anything like that….cover up ladies, no one seriously wants to see THAT!
By the way, it is friggin hot here too.
ryc: Thanks ! Wish I could take credit for the saying, but I heard it from a friend who hails from Alabama. Colorful language down that way, apparently.
RYC: With this heat wave I guess you will have to play nekkid. But it’s okay, after a few margaritas maybe everyone else will be too.
Hey, I am fairly new to xanga. I found you on “40+ers”. I really enjoyed reading your last few posts! Thanks for the laughs!
Thanks so much for the laugh
I hope your poor lips are feeling better 
PS… with the heat index it is 104* here right now 
Come on cool front!
Dyanna
Thanks so much for the laugh! Thongs look ugly poking out of anyone’s pants, I don’t care how tiny the ass.
I agree about the bumber sticker. that’s why I don’t have it on my car. That thing would be dangereous here in Bob Jones University land.
That’s an unfortunate view…
Hey how did you get that pic of me?! RYC: Somehow I get the feeling you were being sarcastic
Ewww to the jumbo thong. That’s just plain wrong.
You probably already know this – especially if you travel a lot. If you’re flying on Southwest you can now go online 24 hours before your flight and print your boarding pass. Voila! You’re in the “A” group instead of sitting behind Ms. Butt Cleavage.