July 12, 2006
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THE INVISIBLE MAN
I have lots of experience hanging out with a teenage boy; I hung out with my son all his life. I have very limited experience, however, hanging out with a teenage girl (two weeks now). I can point to one very significant difference:
I’m getting much better service in restaurants, convenience stores, and gas stations.
Being a nondescript middle aged man, I’m used to being invisible. We are a cheap commodity like white bread or soy beans…marginally useful, but not very interesting. As customers, we are just another face; a person to be dealt with, and more likely than not, we’re prone to be jerks. Therefore, I’m used to dealing with clerks who mumble and never bother to even look me in the face. That’s all changed now.
An incident that occurred yesterday afternoon is a perfect example. I picked up our foster daughter Jamie after summer school and we stopped at a convenience store for gas and something to drink. The young man behind the counter looked up at me as I walked into the store but did not acknowledge my existence. Just as he was looking back down, however, he caught sight of Jamie’s 5’ 8” 110 lb frame, encased in tight jeans and a tank top, and his demeanor radically changed. Suddenly it was; “Hello! How are you guys today? Is there anything I can help you find?” He was talking in my direction, but his eyes never left Jamie. He cheerfully rang up our purchase, and invited us to come back “really soon!”
Annoying little prick…
The same scenario repeated itself virtually verbatim when we stopped at a fast food establishment for a snack later in the evening. Jamie wanted a frosty, but the frosty machine was broken. The young man behind the counter almost hurt himself apologizing to Jamie for the horrible inconvenience. If I had ordered the frosty, it would have been “you’re shit out of luck, mister.”
There is only one convenience store clerk that ever flirts with me. It’s the 400 lb, tattoo covered, Indian woman who works at the EZ Mart down the street from where I live. She always calls me “sweetheart” or “honey” when she rings up my purchase. But then again, she calls everybody “sweetheart” or “honey” when she rings up their purchase.
If I had known I would receive service this much better with a cute teenaged girl in tow, I would have hired one a long time ago.
I’m also finding that I’m uncomfortable with any male attention that Jamie gets that I perceive as being even slightly testosterone based. Therefore, Jamie, if you’re reading this, I have no choice but to wrap you in electric fencing until you graduate from High School. I know it seems a little extreme, but it’s for your own good.
Comments (31)
I bet she could make a darling outfit out of electric fencing!!!
Rawr.
I fully support the electric fencing clothes project.
You should know better, Dad. You taught me how to get through that kind of fencing pretty quickly.
Pardon the rambling that’s about to ensue:
…
Okay, nevermind, I typed that all out and then it was long enough for a post on my own blog. so my reaction will be over there.
Welcome to the world of raising a teenage girl! I used to get that attention once upon a time, but the moment my daughter hit puberty the attention shifted. And heaven help the man who eyed my daughter when she was 13-14-15 and he was old enough to be her father/grandfather. I’ve been known to growl at them! When she brings home a new boy my husband will always joke with them saying “You’d better be good to my little girl because I have no problem going back to prison!” Little do they know he’s only half joking! LOL!
I feel your pain, Mark. Dh and I are regularly ignored at restaurants by the young chippies they hire as waitstaff. BUT, if we take along our handsome 20-yr old son, they can’t get to the table fast enough and in fact, seem to hover like flies over carrion, almost to the point of annoyance. Preceded, I would imagine, by a cat fight over who gets to approach the table in the first place. We’ve even noticed that other waitresses will walk out of their way to pass by our table and “check on us”. Of course, Dh & I are still ignored for the most part throughout the course of the meal, but the service couldn’t be better. We sometimes take him along JUST for that reason.
xoxoxo
ah…the dad in you shining through…just one of the horrors of raising a teenaged girl!
I give it a few more days before you start verbally harassing young (and/or old men) who blatantly ogle and/or drool all over her.
A couple more days after that before you start pounding on them.
By then, word will spread that some scary guy with a teenage daughter is harassing people who even THINK about LOOKING at her.
LOL We had to deal with that when we had teenage foster girls…but it was usually me cowering because my girls would blatantly be flirting with the drive-thru boy, who couldn’t even see them through the tinted windows of my MommyMobile.
Ah…I miss those days.
lol hey now… not ALL Tattooed Native American Women are 400 lbs!!!
Now that’s FUNNY!!! The same thing happened to my hubby and me when we had our two young beautiful and well built neices with us once. The guys in the store hopefully had health insurance….because everyone of snapped their necks to look back when the girls entered the room. Why do men act like that??? LOL
That could be the next Project Runway challenge. A dress made of electric wire.
Does Jamie really read your blog? I have a feeling that if my dad had a blog he wouldn’t let me read it.
It sounds to me like you’re having a wonderful time raising Jamie.
Man you sound like my DAD. But that’s a good thing – this is how I know A) Who I am dating is an arsehole B) Who I am dating will never be fit to sit at the same table with my father C) He’s got bad genes and will be one fucked-up husband. All my Dad needs to do is ask a few choice questions, then sooner or later he’ll say – “He’s one motherfucker”, “He’s a stingy bastard”, “What a filthy bastard”, “Tell him to stick his what in where at when” – you know, constructive criticism like that. I love having such an open relationship with him! LOL
I feel your pain. Well, not right now, but in 9 or 10 years I’m going to be the meanest S.O.B. that ever walked the earth. Try breaking out “THE NEXT TIME YOUR EYES LEAVE YOUR HEAD THEY’LL BE IN MY F**KIN HAND!” That will scare those little pompous jerks.
I remember when I was a little pompous jerk. If you get that electrified fence figured out, will you send me the plans for it?
“I’m also finding that I’m uncomfortable with any male attention that Jamie gets that I perceive as being even slightly testosterone based.” Sounds way to familiar to the mother of an exquisite young lady….Speaking from one in-law to another – been there! Enjoy!!! = )
toooo funny. I always enjoy reading your site.
Just wait till you take her to the beach or pool…
Hey now… you need to start thinking differently here. What establishments do you frequent that you would like to have this sort of attention bestowed ? Make a list. Coordinate your schedule with Jamie’s. Plunder. Or as they say… get while the getting’s good !!
My teenage daughter and I just read this post and ALL of the comments to it and we had a good laugh! lol Yes, I have a soon-to-be-17 year old teenage daughter so I feel your pain! lol I have come to find out too that pimpley faced, hairy legged boys that are working the counter ANYPLACE are VERY friendly to me…when she is with me. lol I have found myself yelling at old men on the street who are eyeballing her. I used to yell at them loudly when she was only like 13 or 14. My nieces are the same too…they are gorgeous and when I walk into a place with them…..all eyes are on…them! lol Oh well….it’s a male thing…..but Lord help them if they come around our house. My husband actually met one of them for the first time with a sickle (sp??) in his hand!! It’s not good. I wish you only the best of luck!! Kelsie (my daughter) wants to know if Jaimie has a Xanga site? Talk to ya later!
Men are pigs. The sooner you learn that, the better.
I agree with rabbit, well, mostly. There are some decent guys out there rabbit! I found this to be quite interesting. The electric fence idea sounds much better than the literally leave all of the guns out when the new boy comes over routine. ;P
I’m just catching up on the last couple posts. You and your wife are the example of what Jamie can become once she is secure enough to tear down of all the barriers she has built around her emotions. She’ll be all right.
And I agree with Transvestite Rabbit, too….
RYC: Bridal porn sounds so gross…it’s my stash of bridal magazines, print outs from the web, and ads I’ve cut out for the “perfect” dress…Martha Stewart Weddings has a new article “How to make the perfect gown while serving in your cell.”—beautiful!!
This is why I’m glad I have a son. If I had a daughter, I’d have to buy a shotgun.
I had to LOL at this post. My daughter is almost 14 (going on 20) and boy-oh-boy, can I relate! I’m with FatBoy up there, if you get the electric fence trick figured out, please send me instructions.
Maybe it’s where I live. .. I get hit on enough. But heck, most of the time they are homeless drug addicts. Gotta hate that.
RYC: Are you joking. . . oh, you must not live in the buckle of the Nascar belt.
awww your a typical daddy to a girl now. So cute. I have a daughter so I know what you mean. I think we should set up your 400 lb. Indian woman with my midget indian gas station guy, even though we had a falling out over the broken gas pump and the credit card, it still would be nice if he found someone else. I am sure he is heartbroken over our falling out. RYC: No you would not have done the same thing, but thanks for saying you would.
Welcome to fatherhood of teenage girls…I am sure that my Mike can fully understand your plight…he keeps trying to get Sarah to wear a parka eveywhere she goes, it matters not that it is 90 degrees outside!
As for the service, you bet ya, it works for me too, whenever I want to make sure we get the top of a line first or get fast service I always drag Sarah with me, they may not talk directly to me, but Man do we get good service….that littel twit!
Oh, and when the looks at my little girl (who is 15.5) get “testosterone” laced I announce loudly “UH, Mother here!…you may not want to look at my baby like that!”…Sarah at this point wants to melt into any crack she can find on the floor, sidewalk, or ground, and that just makes it that much funnier for me!
Oh you have so much to learn….good luck! try not to run over any smart a** teenage boys, although you will be tempted!
ha ha well im almost 18 so i dont need an electric fence and heck i shoe them away bc im not interested you no!! i like jason so blahhh!! lol well later