July 6, 2006
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SNAKE OIL
Step right up! Don’t be shy!
Friends…let me ask you a question. Are you a bed wetter? Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction? Or, as we say here in the heartland of
A radio spot I heard today promising “immediate results” reminded me of one of my biggest pet peeves…our national obsession with the “quick fix.” We want to solve every problem in our lives with a magic pill that works immediately and requires absolutely no effort. Two minutes of Google searching yielded the following internet claims:
“If you feel that changing your diet and exercising just isn’t for you, you are not alone. Lose up to 20 lbs in 30 days or it’s free! Its doctor recommended! It’s guaranteed!”
“You can change your spouse and have a better marriage in just ten minutes…learn how.”
“Earn a recognized degree based on life experience from
Don’t get me wrong. I like microwave ovens, high-speed internet, and the commuter lane on the expressway as much as the next guy, but why is quicker always better?
“Quicker” has spawned a generation of young adults swimming in debt because they can’t wait a few years for the big house and the fancy car. “Quicker” has presaged a million divorces because working out your problems and growing as a couple takes too much damn time and effort. “Quicker” has started hundreds of wars because loading a gun or dropping a bomb is so much less time consuming than diplomacy. We live in a world of Snake Oil cures, Snake Oil philosophies, and Snake Oil politics.
Belief in Snake Oil makes us think that our lives will only be complete once we have a certain “thing” or solve a certain “problem”; and if we can do it quickly and with no effort, why not? The problem with that kind of thinking is that it causes us to live in a future that never comes and in doing so; we miss the “now”. And, in truth, the “now” is all we really have.
I know of what I speak because I’m often guilty of looking for the quick fix, or for instant gratification. I’m determined, however, to take pride in the work it takes to accomplish a goal, to live in the present, and to always enjoy the “process.” I’m determined to change, and, by God, I want to change RIGHT FRIGGIN NOW!!!
Comments (17)
RYN: *LOL* Await you must do.
Flowbee. HA
Well, I don’t know……..there’s nothing wrong with a quickie now and then!
Snake oil is as snake oil does. Pass the chocolate.
I don’t think I could handle 80. My friends might think I’m getting uppity.
EXCELLENT!! You hit the nail on the head with this one….but you know….if I can get lucky, get skinny and get smart with one pill…I am on it!
Combine numbers one and two and you have: “Divorce. How to lose (insert spouse’s weight here) pounds of ugly fat in no time !!”
I’ve owned Ginsu knives, but a Flowbee ? Man… I’m so tempted !! And for the record… the Ginsu knives cut the faulty muffler off of my daughter’s car with no trouble whatsoever. Oh dear. Does that make me white trash ?
how weird…i was totally going to write an entry about this very topic today…we live in a fast food, instant-everything society. hell, we freak out when a website covering something from the 12th century from some random italian historical society takes more than a minute to load up onto our computer screen…but that’s the society we live in…and i, too, totally buy into it…
damn. we’re all screwed, aren’t we?
See, except Vitameatavegamin really works…Do You Pop Out at Parties? Are you unpoopular? The answer to all your problems is in this bittle lottle Mita-veta-vegimin!
cool…pass the snake oil
Vitameatavegamin …. snake oil…. pretty much the same
I actually worked with a woman who owned a Flowbee. She came in with her hair all curled and styled and said, “John (her husband) Flowbeed me last night!” At first I was grossed out until I found out what a Flowbee really was….
I saw that flowbee guy in a porno once. I think he used it on more than just his head.
LOL fatboy5555!
^^ Fatboy’s a perv! My favorite ‘snake oil’ commerical are those with ‘Smiling Bob’ who is “living Large and laughing easier” after he found a pill to make his package bigger. They crack me up!
Where’s my snakeoil? I need it to pay off my AmEx bill. Thank you very much.
No, really, I think you hit it just right. Why weren’t we taught to not spend beyond our means?
Now that’s entertainment that makes me think! Do you think that snake oil will work on a sprain?