February 27, 2006

  • ABC AND FOX GOT NOTHING ON ME…


     


    I mentioned awhile back that my wife and I are taking ballroom dancing lessons. Our new found hobby helped peak our interest in the “Dancing with the Stars” program on ABC, and we became rabid fans. I’ve been mesmerized with the routines and amazed at how quickly the contestants learn them. I swear that the legs pictured below had absolutely no bearing on my desire to watch the show.


     



     


    The idea behind the program is to pair celebrities with professionals in a particular discipline, have them learn the skill, and then compete to see who is best. Dancing with the Stars has spawned Skating with Celebrities, and I’m sure other copy-cat programs are already in production. In case any producers are reading this I have a couple of suggestions for spin-offs:


     


    “Safety with Celebrities” – On each episode, up and coming young politicians take friends out for a nice car ride or quail hunt with professionals Ted Kennedy and Dick Cheney. The politician that goes the longest without reporting an incident of felony endangerment wins the prize!


     


    Or perhaps…


     


    “Skanking with the Stars” – On each episode, various male celebrities troll for low-rent tail with proven professionals Charlie Sheen, Hugh Grant, and Bill Clinton. The contestant with the most incurable venereal disease at the end of the season wins a year long pass to the Bunny Ranch!


     


    While I’m raking in the royalties on these shows I’ll be working hard on more serious material…perhaps a PBS documentary on mastering the English language to be hosted by Arnold Swartzenager and George Bush.

Comments (17)

  • ha ha, I think you have some winning shows there.

  • hey random props. nice xanga site

  • You missed my list last week …

  • “Safety with Celebrities”…that’s pretty funny.

  • That, my dear, is a 42-inch inseam on a 5’11″ girl…  Puts this 5’2″ pee-wee to shame…

  • Haha, you never have problems making me laugh. Where is your son? Does he ever update anymore?

  • I’ll be waiting for the documentary.

  • My, we are acid-tongued today, aren’t we?

    Keep up the good work.

  • Okay, so I only watched the first 4 hours of the finale. After watching every show they’d ever made…. I didn’t care who the winner was.
    I laughed really hard at Drew’s “THRILLER” closing look up in the sky. haha.

    I hate tv.

    But I love American Idol.

  • I love DWTS, although I was very frustrated with the viewer voting ealier in the season.  Those legs, as much as I envy them, made that lift very awkward!

  • LOL….RYC……yes, I suppose my last profile pic DID look alot like Jesus…..but it’s amazing what a VENUS razor can do!! lol

  • what about: “Raising your kids to be even more screwed up than you are.” hosted by Michael Jackson. Whichever kid makes the most progress towards becoming a nut job, gets their skin lightened and a piece of face shaved off. The child with the least progress gets dangled off of a balcony.

  • How about “Rehabbing with the Stars” ?  That would be a riot.  You could have Whitney Houston, Lindsay Lohan and whichever Olsen Twin is currently in and out of rehab and pair them with a real live human being that isn’t addicted to something.  They go to rehab with them and whichever contestant can take on the addiction of the star that is sluffing it off the quickest and be clinically proven to have a full fledged addiction can have a one year all expense paid trip to sunny Utah Promises Rehab center…. four square meals… all the therapy their little hearts desire.  It’s perfect.  A vacation and life style change all rolled into one.  Sign me up!

  • TOO FUNNY!…you crack me up!

  • I love those suggestions!! Especially the last one. “Is our children learning?”

  • curious about the felony endangerment clause.

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