January 23, 2006
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So…tell me, do you live around here often?
A recent comment has me thinking about pick up lines. They conjure up images of polyester clad men with bad combovers, exposed chest hair, and a Mr. T inspired penchant for neck jewelry. But do they actually work? All I can say is that I’ve seen the master in action.
Thank God I am happily married and no longer “out there” in search of a significant other. I was single for quite a while though and back in my bachelor days I had a Thursday evening ritual. My friend “Edgar” (the master) and I would go to the “Side Line Bar and Grill” to see some musician friends of ours play. Edgar was my hero. He is in his mid 50’s, balding, and a bit on the pudgy side. Despite these cultural “handicaps,” he spent the entire time we at the bar dancing with a non-stop assortment of hot “20 something” women. What he said to these women was a closely guarded trade secret and I was never privy to the line, but whatever it was, it never seemed to fail. Granted, he wasn’t asking these women to go home with him, but let’s just say that he didn’t seem to be spending too many nights alone either.
I, on the other hand, always found the bar scene to be awkward; kind of like Jr. High, only with alcohol. So while Edgar was cavorting with the hotties, I sat back, nursed my vodka tonic, and lived vicariously through his philandering.
Even though Edgar was my friend, he found my complacence to be pathetic and he would constantly point out women in the bar that he thought I should go proposition. After weeks of this, I finally acquiesced and agreed to go ask a brunette sitting a couple of tables away from us to dance. As I stood to make my way to her table, I tipped my drink over and spilled it directly on my crotch. I sat right back down, covered my lap with a napkin, and never ventured to another table again.
I never got a chance to see if my line; “You sure don’t seem to sweat much for a fat girl” would of worked.
My friend Sircruizer left a link to askmen.com in a comment on my blog about men’s fashions. I’ve been perusing the website and one of the features is the “Pick-Up Line of the Week.” This week’s offering: “I’m an organ donor, do you need anything?” While I think that line is pretty damn funny, I can’t imagine that it would actually peak a woman’s interest. More likely, it would get the “pickuper” slapped by the potential “pickupee.”
From a purely “cultural-anthropologic” standpoint (since I have no need now for pick up lines) I am curious if there are lines that actually work. Ladies, what could a guy say to you in a bar that would make you take a second look? Men, do you have a line that you’ve used with some degree of success?
While I’m waiting on your responses, I’m going to sit here quietly and nurse my vodka tonic.
Comments (26)
I’ve heard that asking for fashion advice is a great way to pick up women.
‘We’re to wild and crazy guyzzzzz”
I’m glad I’m not out there too.. it’s sad!
What could they say? maybe.. “hi, can i buy you a drink? you look like someone with intelligent conversation?
lol..
Its not what they say, its HOW they say it.
Cheesy Line said with nonchalant sincerity that expects nothing in return: “Your the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen” would get my attention.
Same cheesy line said in passing to 5 girls in a row would warrant a turn down and an insult.
But as I matured…and met Mark the line that got me was, “when I heard you pray it made me want to spend my whole life near you.
“you’ve got a great ass” always worked for me.
Something horribly flattering and romantic. The ability to charm is the most important quality I look for in a guy.
Hmmmm….never really had any pickup lines directly to me other than asking if I wanted to dance but some guy did say to my husband a LONG time ago, “Hey buddy, if you ain’t gonna dance with her, I will!” Needless to say, my husband danced with me! lol
No lines, never ever – unless used after rapport has been established to seal the perception of you as unpredictable and somewhat cheeky.
If necessary:
Nice shoes, wanna F***?
No lines! They almost always end up being cheesy and insincere.
“Do these pants make my butt look big?”
I don’t get that organ donor thing. I can thus say with certainty that it wouldn’t pick me up.
ohmigosh….she doesn’t get the organ donor thing. she’s kidding, right? i sort of liked that one myself.
Personally, I’d prefer the sincere (if such an animal exists in a bar) direct approach. “Hi, can I buy you a drink” is much less offensive than some stupid line. But there are guys who can pull off the corny and cheesy lines and get a laugh! It’s fun reminiscing about those days!
Kathi
I might be out there soon, maybe I will just try to get back with semi ex, it’s seems like a lot less work.
Just say something that sounds rich.
My oldest son said he once used this line on his wife when they first knew met ….while at a table at the college cafeteria he picked up a packet of sugar that had the words SUGAR written on it in large letters. He threw it down on her table and said, “excuse me Ma’am, you dropped your name card”
I thought that was rather dorky….but that somehow always worked for him.
i live around here very often, but oftener over that way
I LOVE your postings… Okay so that is not what I would want someone to say if they were trying to pick me up, would be totally confusing…. I digress!!
I am totally turned on by witty, so if someone was witty (and for the life of me I can’t think of a witty opening line so I guess I wouldn’t attract myself LOL) then he would surely get an invite to sit by me, dance with me, take me in his arms and…. I digress again (it’s that hopeless romantic in me)
And if all else fails. Well I would say the line that always got me was “I was looking at you and you have the most amazing blue eyes” Yeah…. flattery will get you everywhere (as long as it is sincere)
Amen to being married!
I agree – flattery does it – as long as it is sincere and I don’t hear you say the same thing to anyone else
Having spent 10 years in bars and nightclubs over a 4 state area singing with a band, I think I have heard most all of it. Unless they have created some new. Which they probably have. Thank God I am not out there to hear it.
If you haven’t been slapped by a woman in a bar at least once, then you’re missing something.
But really, pickup lines are just as dumb as buying a woman a drink; but at least a line can be funny and won’t cost you anything. I prefer female opinion openers.
They are a great way to engage the entire group as well as let you get a feel for which one you prefer.
Sorry 2nd post on your site today…. is there a limit? Is the Post Police going to take me away?
I just thought of the “worst” pickup in all history. I was out with some friends to a Karaoke bar a few years back and this drunk guy (totally wasted) came up to sing and he seranaded ME with the haunting love song “Piece of Shit Car” by Adam Sandler. Okay so the guy couldn’t sing when he was sober, but drunk????? wow, be still my beating heart. He really couldn’t sing. Nothing like humiliating yourself in public to let me know your the one for me!!!!
Keep smiling
The best pick up line EVER:
“Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.”
Hahaha, YES! Makes the pants fall off girls 100% of the time!
When all else fails, beg for pity sex.
RYC: I don’t know what to do about the chafing thing. Doesn’t it chaf if you wear boxers? I guess I just don’t understand as much as I thought about “boy parts”.
I came via fratmom; I’m her onery friend. Best pickup line? I remember one day when I was a teenager and was wearing a dress with a sailor-type collar, which was popular several years ago, I passed a schoolbus and a boy shouted, “Hey, Sailor, why don’t you sit on my lap and let’s talk about the first thing that pops up.”
Pick up lines? You mean he didn’t mean that it when he asked if I hurt myself when I fell from heaven? Oh, the humanity…………
My daughter who is in college gets approached a lot…she says if she doesnt like their approach she will say..”Can you pay any bills??” They turn around and leave her alone… i thought that was a good one…
Hello came over from Darriannes.. You inspired a nice blog for her with your blog on pick up lines.. sorry you spilled your drink! This was interesting, thanks and peace and love:)
Love those ‘wild and crazy guys”. so funny!