January 18, 2006
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DRESS FOR SUCCESS
(Or at least remember to zip up your pants)
I have, what I suppose, is a good problem. Since I’ve dropped some weight none of my clothes fit. It’s time to start updating my wardrobe and I’d like to be a bit more hip, but I’m finding that to be a daunting task.
I’m fashion challenged. On second thought, that might not be completely accurate. I might be better described as simply being really, really, dull. I live in business suits and I seem to have OCD when it comes to what I will and will not wear. I cannot break away from the following self-imposed rules for my attire: My suits must be in standard colors and patterns; light gray, dark gray, black, navy, olive, pinstripe, herringbone, etc. These are worn with a starched oxford dress shirt. The knot in the tie must be a Full-Windsor with a dimple directly in the middle of the knot. If the shirt is a print, the tie is solid; if the shirt is solid, the tie is a print. Yawn…
Don’t worry; I’m not a serial killer, just stuck in a rut.
I really want to branch out, so I’ve been perusing magazines like GQ and Men’s Fitness for their fashion advice. This has been a worthless endeavor because people in these magazines dress like this:
Also known as, “clothes in which to get your ass kicked.”
I’m 47 years old and I have no desire to dress like a kid, but I also would like to stop dressing like I’m a funeral director. I’ve also developed a rather odd problem. Most slacks that come with suits these days have a very complicated fastening system. They have a button on the inside, followed by a hook and grommet, which is followed by a button on the outside. Once I’ve gotten through all of that, apparently I’m tired, and I forget to zip up the fly. So I’m not only dressing like a funeral director, I’m dressing like a funeral director with Alzheimer’s.
One of the articles I read lately included a survey done among women about how they wanted their men to dress. In this survey, 89% of the respondees stated that they despised pleated slacks and wanted their men to wear flat front pants. I find it difficult to believe that women really feel this passionately about pleats, but hey, I’ve been wrong before. It would be interesting to know what real women think about men’s’ fashions. It would also be interesting to know what men think who are much cooler than I am (like my son, who has impeccable taste).
So, I’m soliciting your advice. What things do men wear that you find to be absolute fashion faux pas, and what things do you really like?
My fashion future is in your hands.
Comments (40)
Tight jeans and leather chaps. But not, you know, for formal occasions.
Pleats are, indeed, a no-no! So are most sweater vests.
OMG, “funeral director with Alzheimer’s” !!! I appreciate the humor there, lol!
I agree with Ms. Rabbit ^ about the tight jeans. Eh, chaps I can take or leave. Button-down shirts with the jeans.
That’s all I can think of for now! Won’t it be fun buying smaller sizes (not that you were big to begin with, I’m sure)!
Kathi
Pleats seem to remind me of the 80s. I like the laid-back but slightly smarter looks (although your weather would have to allow it):
Polo shirts with khakis. I mean, a black, cotton polo shirt with ONE button undone, teamed with a pair of camel khaki pants, a halzenut brown belt and matching shoes. VeRy On. Perfect to go out in, not necessarily formal but definitely not sloppy.
A new look to try now that you’re super fit: Black turtleneck with stone washed blue jeans. I dunno, but its like an “any age” look for me. I love it when a man can show off his shoulders in those.
You’re going to be sooooooo money LOL.
make sure your boxers aren’t showing. that’s so nasty.
Got here via a blogring. Thanks for the laugh. I don’t think I ever really noticed pleats or flat panel, only because I haven’t seem pleats in forever…I agree, it sounds like something from the 80s. But I am surrounded by “hip” college students most of the time…and I don’t often look at the old people on campus, so maybe that’s why. Now, I’ll go check around to see if any men are still wearing pleated pants.
Try out a good men’s shop in your area. They will be able to provide you with excellent advice. Experiment with varying textures. Also, wear more fitted clothes. Pleated pants slim a man down and make for more smooth lines. Try new belt and shoe styles. Your typical business looking shoe isn’t going to cut it. The new “in” belts that look sharp are the kind that hide the excess belt end behind the buckle and clip onto the belt itself.
I had a whole comment box filled but my computer ruined that.
Hope the above helps.
Fanny packs are a big no. Other than that I think you should wear whatever you feel comfortable in…ok except for T shirts with the sleeves torn out or T shirts that come all “fancy” with the sleeves already out for you. These should be reserved for mowing the yard and home maintainence only
ummmm…let me see; tight jeans, a white tee shirt, moccasins with no socks, and lots of sweat??? (smile)
Fashion faux pas?
*Navy blue and black together. (bright blue and black are ok)
*Holey any type of clothes (unless it’s the knee in the jeans and you are making a specific statement)
*Pastel. Forget Miami Vice. Yuck. That show was stupid when it was on. Kind of a wannabe prelude to Law&Order.
I have no idea about pleats. I think it all depends on how they’re worn.
I’m kind of a fashion idiot myself. I’m totally in a rut. Mainly because I haven’t lost my baby weight from having my littlest one, who isn’t all that little anymore. I refuse to buy more clothes-bigger clothes.
Pleats make one’s hips look bigger unless one is, like my 6′, 150 lb. husband, veeeeery skinny. In hubby’s case pleats help him look like less of a toothpick.
Okay, now that all the ladies have weighed in, let me make this simple. Go out and buy yourself a black cashmere sport coat. Dress it up, dress it down, everything looks great. You want to wear it with a white shirt and tie, it looks great. Jeans and a t-shirt, great. Trust me on this one.
I don’t know that I have impeccable taste, but I do have an impeccable wife.
Step 1: Ignore nearly everything that fashion magazines have to say. Those are designed to promote the fashion industry. This would be akin to reading Ang Lee’s diary for movie critiques and advice – it’s self serving to the industry, not to you.
Step 2: Next time you’re forced to be in the mall with your darling wife, look in at a couple of stores and find places you like. While once you know what you like it’s better to shop around in multiple stores, until you do, find a store that fits you, and stick to it. (I really like Express and Banana, and I think that’d fit your professional dress well. Except that they REALLY like their clothes.)
Step 3: Take your bride, and listen to her. I usually start with a shirt, as they are the most varied. Try some fun textures and color combinations. You aren’t ALWAYS “fit to be tied.” When not, try a colored undershirt and sleeves quarter rolled on a stiff textured shirt.
I hate to admit this, but my shoes have made more of a difference than nearly anything else. Get a “fun” pair of black dress (Kenneth Cole), you can wear them with just about anything.
Also, sale racks are your friend. Clothes are stupid expensive, considering how much they pay the 8 year old Cambodians who make them.
Stay away from the jeans with Spandex… Not for your gender. Or age.
Don’t wear chinos with no socks and loafers! ugh!
I think Boofshavik gave some great advice.
Let your wife dress you.
http://www.themetroguy.com
Black socks with sandals, pleats, the crotch on your pants hanging to your knees, any sign of the crack of your ass, tight shirts tucked in your pants over a beer belly, the sweater tied over your shoulder look, …. all these things are Fashion Don’ts in my book.
Tight jeans, no underwear and a loose shirt. Mmmm yeah. That will look very nice combined with that new car of yours. You’ll have the rouge thing going on for you.
You are right about the ass-kicking clothes. They are absurd.
I never minded pleats. I don’t like cuffs though. I just wish men would discover color and wear shirt and ties with a little more pizazz. I’m not asking for red shoes or anything, but, as you say, most guys look like funeral directors. Too much black has to go.
Lynn
Oh God…. your fashion future is in my hands…. you’re in trouble. Run while you still have time!!! I loved your profile comments and had to comment on your site.
I love a man with jeans a turtle neck for winter or tshirt with a v neck for summer and a sports coat boots of any kind, cowboy, docks. It’s just classy, what can I say. Don’t unbutton your shirt to your navel…. too 70′s… I dig an earring but the chains around the neck nahhhhhhhh. Leave them at home.
Definite no no’s… swim trunks and t shirts with those sport socks. You don’t wear that do you???? LOL
I am a sales executive so I know what you mean about dressing button up. What a drag. Would love to converse. Write, or do whatever…. your time on this earth is so short, given the drooling…. don’t waste a minute.
LOL at “clothes to get your ass kicked”. I dated a geophysicist when I was in college, who worked at an oil company in Midland, Texas. He was not from Texas. While sitting a well in west Texas, he wore his three piece suit to a bar somewhere in the middle of nowhere Texas, and proceeded to look down his nose at the patrons. He went in looking GQ and left looking ER.
I’m the standard Dockers and shirts with collars, or nice tshirts for men. For comfort wear…it’s jeans…not 70′s tight, but nicely fit…and yes Wranglers are still a plus. No creases in the jeans…that is bad taste…jeans should be jeans….unless your a women…then it’s acceptable. Shoes are loafers with the Dockers, please wear socks. The socks with the designs are not geeky but show a fashion sense without being considered fem. If you wear jeans, boots of some sort for going out, and sandles for hanging out. No socks with the sandles please. If you are considering shorts…please no tight fitting high risers…make em loose and comfy looking….anything Khaki is still in this year. And for your summer wear..The corals and greens are back again.
As long as the outfit is incely pressed and crisp looking, you will always be sharp no matter what the color or name brand.
As for suits…keep those basic… navy, black, and tan
You can always help bring back the leisure suit…but we’ve already done a post on that haven’t we?
I recommend a sleeveless white t-shirt, plaid Bermuda shorts pulled up as high as you can get them (suspenders optional), black knee-high socks, and brown sandals. If you really want to wow the ladies, accessorize with a fishing hat decorated with your favorite lures.
Anything that the village people wore is MONEY!
#1- Pleated pants are kinda geeky
#2- Make sure the pants are long enough- no “floods”
#3- Not too saggy. I hate how guys these days wear pants 2 sizes too big….. or maybe that’s just the middle school KIDS I teach
#4- I LOVE a man in a suit or uniform. I get more turned-on when I see a man in a suit, all dressed up, rather than naked.
oh did you get the GQ with Jack Black on the cover? I wanted to pick it up and read it, but was too embarassed to do so.
Flat front pants are so hot.
I live in the country where people don’t wear suits.. Mostly all lumber jacks and with a few writers and artist here and there…So no advice from me.
Our town was in the top 100 art cities
Mary
I guess I do not “keep up with things” as I do like pleated pants on a guy! So, saying that, I don’t think I will offer up any more advice! lol…good luck.
I always enjoy a nice striped button-up shirt with jeans or khakis. Tucked or untucked, depending on the occasion. Casual, yet not too sporty. And shoes are very important–be sure to have some nice casual to dressy brown and black. Also, check out the way a pair of pants fits in the butt–that’s for your wife’s benefit! Although I have no right to give fashion advice, considering I can’t really dress myself…
YIKES! I just looked at those pictures up there! I thought it was PeeWee Herman!! DON’T wear those, that’s for sure!! OK….I am DEFINITELY not the person to be answering this question. Being a child from the 80′s, I LOVE pleated pants. I don’t like TIGHT jeans, that’s just gross. I also really like those kind of baggy jeans (not underwear-showing) like carpenter pants (I think that’s what they are called) Those look hot on a guy. They would also look nice with a sweater. Now, my husband has recently lost some weight and is enjoying buying new clothes. He is referred to as the amish mafia by several of my teenage daughters friends because of his constant wearing of his straw hat, suspenders and burly manner. For some reason he is going through a phase (mid-life crisis perhaps??) that he is into sweaters and dress slacks. Of course now we go to church regularly so he wants “to look nice.” I say, if you think you look nice, then wear it….you know….by the time we all figure out the latest trends, they will have changed already! ( this is an excellent post!)
I’m with MzBiz. There is something terribly sexy about a well dressed man.
I can tell you right now those pics, ewww fashion horror. If I were you, I would take a nice stylish woamn shoping with you. I like classey understated clothes on a guy. Something that fits nice in a color that brings out the eye color. And don’t forget the nice smelling stuff.
sorry about typos, oh and don’t take sylish woman with you, unless it’s the wife or wife’s choice of woman.
That thing about forgetting to zip dress pants is completely true. I thought I was the only one.
Hi Mark, well, I agree with you about the clothes in the pictures, before I read what you wrote under it my thought was that you would get beaten up wearing something like that!
Personally I don’t mind pleats as long as the man is slim, the pleats do not do a thing for men that have large tummy’s and no butt (as I constantly tell my husband!)
I like to see a man dress casually, I love to dress my husband in nice slacks, a solid color silk pullover and sports coat, he looks distingueshed without looking stuffy. I also like it when he wears really nice jeans with the pullover and sports coat….when you wear an outfit like this pay close attention to the shoes, I always have to have Mike change out of his wingtips, they just do not go with a causal outfit like that! DUH!…good thing he has me around to dress him, heaven knows how he would dress himself if I wasn’t here! LOL
For a casual look, I love to see a guy in Levis and a rolled sleeve dress shirt.Your suits all sound great, but I also like a tone-on-tone combination with the shirt & tie.
The biggest fashion faux pas is head-to toe NASCAR gear, especially mixing drivers. (Dale Jr. hat, Tony Stewart shirt, Jeff Gordon stretchy-shorts and Jimmy Johnson socks while carrying a Dale Jarrett cooler.)
The answers to all your prayers…. http://www.askmen.com Go to the Fashion and Lifestyle section. I think the main sub-section to check out here would be Trends & Styles. Also, check out the Mafia Lessons and the Success and Image sub-sections of Power & Money.
I personally think nothing beats a good pair of shades. I’ve got a pair of Ray-Bans that make me look 10 times better in whatever I wear. Just make sure you get the right shape of shades for your face type. Askmen has an article about that somewhere, or just google it.
Hola thanks for the comment I had to smile there. And…you’re not THAT old yet LOL.
In addition to all of the other qualifications I have for dating, I now have to find out if he wears pleated slacks ?? Cripes !! This is too much work !!
And generally, if a man’s mode of dress does not include Nascar tee-shirts, I’m a happy camper.
RYC Thanks for the well wishes on my mother. I think you are right. When you lose a parent at a young age some of those memories/scars/whatever tend to lurk in the back of your mind even into your adult years. Thanks for sharing and commenting. I enjoy ALL of your comments. Have a GREAT day