ARE WE HICKS HERE IN OKLAHOMA?
I was listening to NPR again today. On Saturday afternoons I love to tune into a news/quiz show called “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.” The show features a panel which is made up of columnists, commentators, and guest comedians. One of the questions was about a Congressman from Oklahoma. The comedian immediately said “any time a sentence starts with the phrase a Congressman from Oklahoma you know you’ve got trouble”. All the panelists on the show then had a hardy laugh about all us hicks from the sticks here in the Sooner State.
I think this attitude is prevalent because the national media works hard to perpetuate stereotypes. Any time there is a national news event here in Oklahoma such as the bombing of the Murrah building or a devastating tornado, the networks rush in to interview the locals. They could pick an aerospace engineer from Boeing; they could pick any number of people from the telecommunications industry; they could even pick the CEO from one of the 2000 oil and gas companies here in Oklahoma. But do they do that? No. They purposely drive as far out in the sticks as possible to find Bubba so they can do a close-up of his three Skoal-stained teeth while he talks about how he knew the tornado was going to be bad when he saw his pig come flying through his trailer window while he was trying to watch “wrasslin” on TV.
Is there actually a national stereotype regarding Oklahoma, and is it deserved? I travel all over the eastern half of the U.S. and when people find out I’m from Oklahoma I always get asked the same questions. Here is a sample of those questions and the answers I typically provide:
Is it true that there is something called “cock-fighting” in Oklahoma? Yes, it is true, but contrary to what some people believe, it is not a type of Asian-gay-porn. It’s actually a lovely custom in which we tie razor blades to the feet of chickens, put them in a pit, and cheer on our favorite while they shred each other to death. It’s fun for the whole family!
Aren’t you afraid of tornadoes? We are so desensitized to tornadoes in Oklahoma that we actually stand in our front yards during the storm season and hold up score cards as tornadoes come over our houses. “That one left Bill’s garage standing, so I’m only going to give it an 8.”
Is it true that there are still Indians with bows and arrows riding around on horseback? Yes, it’s true. And every one of them owns their own Casino.
Is it true that the divorce rate in Oklahoma is the highest in the nation? Yes, and it’s especially problematic in Oklahoma because when you divorce your wife you’re also losing your sister.
Is it true that the National Rifle Association has a big influence in Oklahoma? All I can say is that if you’re driving into Oklahoma from another state, you will be stopped at the state-line. Your car will be checked for guns and if you don’t have any, you will be given some.
I love Oklahoma. I’ve lived here all my life and I don’t believe the stereotypes for a second. In conclusion, however, I do want ask this popular question: Do you know what an Oklahoma tornado and an Arkansas divorce have in common?
In either situation, someone is going to lose their trailer. | 
Comments (12)
Hmmm, cock-fighting, tornadoes, Indian casinos, love of guns. Oklahoma sounds a lot like Michigan.
I hadn’t heard any of those things about Oklahoma. But that might be because here in Georgia, we attribute those stereotypes to Alabama.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go out to the front yard and put my car up on blocks.
Hahahahaha, holy CRAP. This was the funniest post I’ve ever read. I wonder how I missed it the first time? I thought I’ve been reading your Xanga since the beginning, but myabe I’m just crazy. Thanks for the year of thoughtful and hilarious postings, semi-adoptive father
Hahaha, those stereotypes are funny! Happy Xangaversary, too, btw!
Kathi
Nice post. I am glad that you liked my site. I try to update often, but I love this layout, so I don’t know if I want to change it or not….lol
Donna
The major news networks keep Bubba patrols on their payroll, so they are ready for a man in the street/cornfield/dumpster interview at a moment’s notice. We have a similar problem in Iowa, where we grow a mighty fine crop of potatoes.
That’s just as funny the second time around.
I remember this post. You are such an excellent writer. I will definitely enjoy reading some of your past posts.
Classic, Mark. I’ve got to dig out my Driving in Detroit post and put it up…
This was one of my favorites!
Way too funny! Bad as cow-tipping up here in North Dakota!
Both will lose the trailer… ::laughs:: Great one Mark!
If you can’t beat them, join them..