August 12, 2009

• PLEASE READ MY iBLOG

  PLEASE READ MY iBLOG
  

  
  I recently crossed over to the dark side and have become a Mac person. I used to hate Mac people because they were all like mutant Jehovah’s Witnesses; constantly extolling the virtues of all things Mac with an air of superiority that made me want to shove their MacBooks up their MacAsses.
  
  The firm I joined six months ago didn’t give me a choice. They do everything on Macs and as I’ve used Mac products I have slowly become a convert. In fact, I’m typing this using iWork ’09 while I listen to iTunes on my iPhone. I work from home so I keep in touch with my colleagues on iChat and we coordinate our schedules on iCalendar. If I decide to add a picture to this blog I will do it with iPhoto and perhaps I’ll even add a video at some point using iMovie.
  
  I think you get the iPoint.
  
  What is beginning to iChap my iBehind, however, is how marketing people have begun to steal Apple’s use of that little lower case “i” to make their product seem hip and cool.
  
  This happened several years ago with the letters “X” and “Z.” Someone, somewhere decided that using either of those letters in a model number suddenly made their products seem much edgier and, of course, every marketing person on the planet followed like sheep.
  
  I’m in the commercial sound, video, and lighting business. Our company is a dealer for over 850 manufacturers. Each of those manufacturers make hundreds of products and the model number for EVERY FREAKING ONE OF THEM starts with and X or a Z.
  
  Don’t try and tell me you haven’t noticed this trend. Think about all of the cool cars you would like to own. Now think about how many of those car models begin with an X or a Z. If you’re like me you’d really like to drive your vintage Z-28 over to the BMW lot to pick up a new Z-4, or perhaps over to the Jaguar lot to pick up an XF, a XK, or even an XJ.
  
  But now the mighty X and Z have been begun to be replaced by the tiny, unassuming “i”, and it’s starting to piss me off.
  
  I’ve seen advertisements recently for an iSafe, an iBoat, and even an iCheeseburger. The coup de grace, however, may have been a seminar I saw advertised last week promising to teach young couples wanting to have children how to be iParents.
  
  (I know you see this coming) That is just iCreepy.
  
  I think I’m going to start a marketing craze in which all product model numbers begin with an umlaut. Soon you will be able to purchase an üToaster, a üTV, or perhaps even a üPet. And the best part will be that I will get a small cut from the sale of every üProduct because of my marketing genius.
  
  Or maybe I’m just üCrazy.
  

  • 3:31 pm
  • 19 Comments