JUST THE FACTS MA’AM
I’ve given up worrying about whether the media has a liberal bias or a conservative bias, I’m more worried that the media is collectively smoking crack. It seems that every headline I read warns of some imminent danger that will probably kill me and my loved ones; most likely by the end of the day.
I strongly believe that in every newspaper, radio, television, and website newsroom in America the following conversation (or something very close to it) takes place on a daily basis:
Editor: Hey Bob, read me the opening paragraph on the human interest story you’re working on.
Copywriter: Sure: “A first grader at Robert E. Lee Elementary School accidentally scuffed his chin today when he jumped off the Merry-Go-Round. His teacher, Miss Shelnick, quickly came to the rescue. She scooped the child in her arms, kissed his boo-boo, and made it all better.”
Editor: That’s not bad Bob, but could you punch it up a bit?
Copywriter: Sure boss. How about: “A first grader at Robert E. Lee Elementary school was nearly decapitated today by grossly neglected, and extremely dangerous playground equipment. Will your child live through recess? Read our investigative report to find out.”
Editor: Not bad, but if you could imply that the teacher could possibly be a registered sex offender and that’s why she kissed him, I think we’ll have a winner.
We’ve grown mostly desensitized to this type of sensationalism. That’s probably due to the ubiquitous “all hell’s about to break loose” weather forecast:
Tropical depression ‘Tootsie’ with rain fall of 1 1/2 inches and winds of up to 8 miles per hour has formed in the Atlantic Ocean approximately 500 miles from the nearest land mass. Unnamed experts predict that this will grow into a category 35 hurricane that could easily decimate the entire Atlantic Seaboard and eradicate all life as we know as far west as Kansas. We here at the Channel Five Weather Center promise to bring you 24/7 coverage of this breaking weather story even if we have to run archived hurricane footage dating all the way back to 1965 just to fill air time.
I understand that in a media soaked culture if a headline doesn’t pop it probably doesn’t get read which means the publisher can’t sell advertising. But as it is often said; “perception is reality” which would mean that if you can change perception you can change reality. If that is truly the case, the media should remember the immortal words of Tobey Mcguire playing Spiderman; “with great power comes great responsibility” (and Kirsten Dunst in a wet t-shirt, apparently). Therefore, I think it’s time for some “Sensationalism Accountability.”
I think the need for this can be illustrated best by the media’s coverage of the current economic crises. During this recession I’ve become obsessed with following the stock market. This isn’t because my portfolio is so large that I need to consult with Warren Buffett on a daily basis, but simply because I would really like to retire prior to my 95th birthday. Stocks have been on a multi-month rally as the recovery gets underway. Even with that type of positive news, every time the DOW dips by a couple of points the headlines on CNN all read that the recovery is hoax and that the market is about to suffer “an apocalyptic collapse of biblical proportion.”
I don’t know shit about the stock market but I can tell you this, if the DOW is up 100 points today it will most likely be down at least 80 points tomorrow. This is because people are cashing out their gains and does not mean that we all need to be poised on the window ledges of our office buildings.
Yes, this recession has been the worst since the great depression. and yes, the unemployment rate is near 10%. That is due primarily to greedy people doing incredibly greedy things, but I also have to wonder how much of it is actually driven by the media. I think some enterprising statistician from the Pew Research Center should conduct a study to see if there is a direct correlation between the publication of a sensationalized “doom and gloom” economic headline and layoffs. I’d bet you 10 shares of Microsoft that there is.
I’m not saying that we need to regulate the media. I’m a firm believer in the 1st amendment even if it does allow the Glenn Becks and Rush Limbaughs of the world to exist. I would simply like to call on the media to demonstrate a little self restraint. If you’re like me you would like your news the way Walter Cronkite delivered it; without hyperbole and without sensationalism. When Walter said “and that’s the way it is” we all felt fairly certain that really was the way it was.
I think Joe Friday said it best:
Just the facts ma’am.
Comments (11)
I couldn’t have said it better. Or even as good.
And another thing-who cares if this channel or that channel spoke to the 2nd cousin’s boyfriend’s ex mother-in-law exclusively. Not me. And I’m tired of waiting till eleven to hear that non-weather report.
I know this is tongue-in-cheek, but it’s really not far from the truth. One of our local stations advertises it’s newscasts as “Live! Late-breaking! Investigative!” and they love going undercover and sensationalizing minor things, like the playground incident you described. No wonder people’s anxiety levels are higher today! Nothing is safe, secure, or predictable, according to the media doomsayers. I really enjoyed this post!
Kathi
This is fantastic. Fricking hilarious. Thank you. You grabbed it by the neck and choked it til it nearly went limp. Like the stock market on Tuesday, Friday and Monday.
Perfect and highly recommended!!!
Yes, if only we could get just the facts.
I’m in stitches!!! It would be nice to get “just the facts”!!
Yes…I agree
You really are brilliant.
I couldn’t help but think of this quote I read yesterday:
“Humanity now publishes as many words every week as it did in all human history up to
1800.” The New York Times, 1993
I imagine by now we’re up to doing it every day, or even multiple times a day. Apply simple supply and demand economics to this fact, and you get the grossness of today’s media. There’s just more words out there than we can consume. It’s like tourist shops on these trips. They have to yell at you to try to get you in the door. And almost every single time the ones yelling are the ones you don’t want to go in to.
I don’t think CNN ever called the recovery a hoax. The actual story was that the recovery could cause cancer in an embarrassing body part, and also cause your child’s school bus to crash into a nuclear power plant.
I’ve been saying this for a long time, ….just not as funny as you… In my house, we have refused to comply with the mentality of “you don’t have cable? Don’t you think you are neglecting your kids” omg… really? My kids play outside and we have stacks of books and board games. CNN can go … umm…. well, I’m sure you understand the sentiment! Lies, all of it so much utter rubbish and bu….it!
I wonder where this train wreck is headed? Probably into a brick wall that is going to wipe out half the planet, leaving the rest of the planet a lopsided conservative mess and spinning manically out of control, only to crash into some huge, rouge, soon to be discovered thirteenth planet, creating a new asteroid field, …that is if it doesn’t get sucked into the galactic plane this year! Or something like that. Maybe we’ll all get sucked into the black hole that is going to be unleashed on us all by the mad physicists at Cerne… nice and tidy. You have to wonder about the minds that create that nonsense. Wait, never mind. I don’t want to know! Bunch of mutant monkeys they are!