January 14, 2007
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FOOTPRINTS IN THE HTML
Web Surfer, once I decided to track you I expected
that you would come back to my site every day.
But I have noticed that even when I post something I think is extremely clever
there are times when there is only my set of footprints.
I don’t understand why when
I needed your comments most you would leave me.
The Web Surfer replied:
My precious blogger,
I love your witless drivel and I would never leave you.
During your time of tracking
when you see only your set of footprints;
it was then that I was doing a Google search for naked pictures of
Britney Spears.
I love the new “Footprints” feature of Xanga. Not because I find it slightly odd that I get repeated hit from the Ukraine, but because I think it’s hysterical that pervs stumble across my site doing Google searches for porn.
They have to be horribly disappointed to be searching for pictures of Brooke Burke (January 3rd post) and find pictures of a pudgy middle aged guy in an elf suit (December 22nd post).
So…I offer this for all those surfers doing their elicit searches:
Dear Surfer,
It’s cold outside so I’m sitting in front of a hot, roaring fire. The shoes I wore outside earlier are still wet from the snow. I’m trying to get over a nasty cold, but I’m feeling much better. I’m stuck inside and I’m so bored I just watched a Discovery Channel program about sex - characteristic differences in mollusks. With all of the programming on TV, I should be able to find lots to watch but I think I’m going to be stuck watching one of the old Naked Gun movies on TBS. If that doesn’t keep me occupied, perhaps I’ll go up to the attic and pull out all of my old Super Man comic books, or all of the models of trains and airplanes I built as a kid and play with those for awhile.
There…that should piss off the surfers.
Comments (37)
Did you write the “Footprints in the HTML”? That is a really cleaver take-off, and funny as heck. You are certainly capable of writing it, even if you didn’t. Your surfer letter is a hoot, as are you!
Kathi
Yes, the “Footprints in the HTML” spoof is mine which only proves I have WAY too much time on my hands
We know you love footprints because we can see that you follow ours back to our sites.
You never even click on your subs list anymore! lol
Ps. I always laugh when I hear the ‘original’ footprints story. So hokey, unlike this one.
I turned off my rss feed and that stopped the creepy stalking footprints from the Ukraine. Now I just get local Xanga stalkers.
I loved your smartass solution, however. Thanks for the laugh.
Great spoof! You crack me up!
Excuse me. I just wandered in from a search on how to keep
“Roaring mollusks occupied in attic”
I’ll keep looking…
*lol*
LOL…you are very clever!
We finally lost power…thank goodness only for 2 hours…hope it lasts the rest of the night.
Google whore !! You have to let us know how many hits this post brings from the great unknown.
I think it is fun to see who has walked in and out of my site
Too funny—ryc: no, that was not me behind you in the movie theatre–I have been banned from all the local movie theatres. I assume that somewhere there is a list with my photo on it, and all theatre employees are forced to memorize it. So I rent them and watch them at home, where I can yell all I like My husband’s used to it.
I think there’s some guy in the Ukraine who spends all his time surfing Xanga. He comes by my place all the time too.
Just leaving my footprints!
Robyn
I LOVED your version of Footprints….very interesting.
RYC: You dated a girl who looks like me in college? Koo-koo-ka-choo, Mrs. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know.
Haha very clever! =)
Now thats funny!
Attaboy, Mark! You’re always good for a belly-achin’ laugh.
I just might play that game sometime.
Wow, you have a Ukrainian stalker too? Now I don’t feel nearly so special.
xoxoxo
Too funny!
I get all kinds of hits from Germany and France. Not sure why….
That was hilarious. Somebody should cross-stitch that and put it in a frame….
No wonder you are a great salesman!!! You know just what people are looking for!!! HA HA….I do like the original footprints, but I think yours is hilarious!!!! I too, hope you post the responses you get to this!
this was GREAT! OMG…hilarious!
I am so disappointed to learn I’m not the only one with Ukraine footprints. I honestly thought someone in Ukraine was interested in the craft blog I do. shit.
laughing hysterically – I love your posts, they always make me laugh. Also the footprints parody was excellent.
I couldn’t help but leave tracks after Rick (prairiecowboy) read this to me last night after he stopped laughing and started breathing again…
What’s up with all these words? I thought there would be pictures of supermodels.
I too have someone in Russia that logs on to my blog almost daily and stays there for about an hour, going from page to page!….I have not checked if any “pervs” have come over to my site….I sure hope they haven’t, but a while back I did have to take off some pictures I had of Sarah because they were getting way too much attention from sites I did not recognize….sad that we have to be so careful, isn’t it?
I loved your footprints thing, and the blod with the key words was just TOO funny!
ROFL! Thats classic man! Just classic!
Dear Blogger, I did a search on “hot nasty sex” and ended up HERE. What kind of scam are you running anyway?!?! Show me the porn!!!
Hope the holidays were great at your house. Loved the poem!
I just finished reading through your last eight or ten posts in an effort to catch up. I’ve been such a slacker lately. I choked on a mouthful of Pepsi at your line about Ken Lay missing out on being taught the REAL meaning of “merger” by dying before going to prison. The elf picture was cute, real cute. And if you’ve got the nerve to go and see the midget strip show I’ll send you one of my disguises. I’ve got a pretty cool Rod Stewart type wig.
I hear ya on the cabin fever…in fact I watched The Shining & can almost relate to poor Jack! lol..they say another round maybe this weekend…NO!
RYC: thank you for confessing, but my investigation tells me you are one of those people that make false confessions for publicity. I’m not buying your story.
Hey there! I haven’t been here to your site in awhile, so I’ve been catching up. You’re a very clever guy! Sorry you did so poorly in sales this last year, but a new one has begun, ya know? Sorry you have to go thru the humiliation of the speech, but…. some stupid marine once said, “that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. GROAN. Sorry dude, that’s all I have by way of encouragement. Hang in there! ~Becky~
Funny, funny! Thanks for the laugh! I am a “sickie” still and I am in need of laughs.
Hmm I didn’t stumble to your site via google search porn! Actually, I’m not sure how I did.