May 27, 2005
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YOUR MOM TOLD YOU YOU’D GO BLIND
MSNBC reported today that there is a possible link between the use of Viagra and blindness. I find this to be the ultimate injustice. I spent my early adolescence being told that if I did it I’d go blind, and now that I’m old and actually have a partner, I still might go blind.
I’m not surprised by this, however. I’ve suspected for some time that there are correlations between many things that are seemingly unrelated. For example:
In middle aged men there appears to be a direct correlation between smelling the perfume worn by cute 20-something women and the purchase of over priced sports cars.
In women there appears to be an occasional correlation between the consumption of alcohol and bearing children.
In some teenaged boys there appears to be a correlation between hearing rap music and purchasing pants that are 6 sizes too large.
For guys in bars there seems to be a correlation between the consumption of beer and the sudden certainty that they can beat up another guy twice their size.
For former President Clinton there seemed to be a direct correlation between passing any type of legislation and indiscriminant sexual behavior.
For current President Bush there seems to be a correlation between breathing and not being able to utter a coherent sentence.
This cosmic ying and yang surrounds us everyday, and it’s virtually impossible to escape. Right now I’m going to see if I can go to Hooters with some guys from work and avoid the completely unrelated consequence of having to sleep on the couch.
Comments (9)
Hahaha!
Viagra and blindness ? Merely a rumor… started by the religious right. That “just say no” campaign wasn’t working, so they’re back to fear. Any reasoning person knows that sight isn’t necessarily required at those times, anyway. And don’t they say that losing one sense enhances the others ? So if a blind person has a head cold, and engages in sex… man, you’ve got me going now.
Good luck with that last one!
Most of the men I know would consider their eyesight a small price to pay in exchange for nookie. Or does that sound sexist and sarcastic?
Queen: Let me assuage your fears, my friends and I often end up in discussions about what we would be willing to lose for certain things. The consensus is generally if you can continue your normal life, then you can lose it. A pinky…even an arm in some cases. (The scenarios get pretty bleak at times with this either-or game) But in the case of one of my buddies he’d be willing for Natalie Portman to cut off a finger and make him eat it, if the price was right.
Tag–you’re it for the movie quiz. See my site for details on the four questions.
LOL–hilarious!
Just passing through after seeing you being tagged on queen’s blog.
LOL! I’m glad someone else was able to see the ironic humor in the viagra/blindness news blurb. Mom WAS right! Not to mention all those nuns in catholic schools…. thanks for the laugh.
Ah, my first thought when I read the news. *laughing
some adages come back to haunt us. loved this, mark.