WELCOME TO THE WORLD – JORDAN PAUL LABOUFF
This is a somewhat belated birth announcement. My son, Jordan Paul LaBouff was born on this date 22 years ago. (Side note: How the HELL could TWENTY TWO YEARS have gone by?!?!?) We typically celebrate his birthday together; however, he is currently skiing with friends at Copper Mountain with nothing to remember me by except my credit cards.
In honor of his birthday, I’d like to point out some notable moments in his 22 year existence:
(Nausea alert! If hearing parents drone on about their children makes you queasy, you may want to grab an air-sick bag now.)
Year 1: I had the “midnight to six a.m.” feeding shift, so he is entirely to blame for my addiction to late night HBO.
Year 3: The ritual of bed time stories involving a fictional little boy named J.P. started. The J.P. stories ended years ago and I simply haven’t had the heart to tell Jordan that J.P. is now in Joliet serving 10 to 20 for money laundering. (What can I say, sometimes fictional characters go bad.)
Year 6: The formidable language skills that serve Jordan so well today emerged early. During a party where other adults had come over to our home to play board games, Jordan, wishing to be involved, picked up a playing card and correctly read and pronounced the word “pontificate.” The adults at this party steered clear of Jordan for quite awhile after that, fearing that he might actually be demon possessed.
Year 7: Jordan was rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. Unfortunately, his appendix ruptured before he could get into surgery, and he was a very sick little boy for awhile. During his recovery someone gave him a water pistol disguised as a Coke can. When his doctors and nurses came into his hospital room he would squirt them with the Coke can and then giggle in delight. However, laughing hurt so bad that he would immediately begin to cry in pain. In order to cheer himself up, he would squirt the next person who came into his room with the Coke can again. This cycle repeated itself 30,000 times during his hospital stay.
Year 12: Jordan had a disagreement with a teacher at school. This was the first indication of a very pronounced, and often repeated, personality trait in which he will not take shi*t from someone just because they happen to be in a position of authority. He quickly developed the unique ability to completely destroy someone’s position on an issue and at the same time make them think they have been complemented. To this day, I have no idea how he does this.
Year 15: He came home from a Halloween party talking about this incredibly cute girl he met named LaRae. They have been together ever since. You are cordially invited to attend their wedding on June 11th.
Also year 15: He became involved in an underground and highly subversive group bearing the code name “Bisky Boys”. I have had this group of gentlemen as quests at my home on numerous occasions. I can attest to the fact that they are a truly demented and highly dysfunctional group of young men, and I have photos to prove it. This tight group of friends continues to exist today. In fact, that is who he is skiing with at the moment. They will make their next appearance as groomsmen at Jordan’s wedding.
Year 17: Jordan discovers he has a knack for debate. He and his partner become a debate dynasty in Oklahoma, sweeping state and placing in the top 10 at nationals during year 18.
Year 19: Jordan and LaRae left for Baylor University together. I predicted at the time that he would own Baylor by the time he graduated. The deed to the University will be given to him at Graduation this spring.
Year 20: Jordan spent a semester at the University of Voronezh in Russia, where he developed a taste for Russian Vodka and Fanta Orange soda. (Long story)
Year 22: Jordan will graduate in May with a 4.0 GPA as the senior class Valedictorian and has been nominated for Outstanding Graduation Senior. Ballot boxes are being stuffed by the Bisky Boys as we speak.
After graduation Jordan and LaRae are getting married and moving to New York where LaRae will be working for Nickelodeon and Jordan will be attending Grad School. Apparently they couldn’t find ANYPLACE closer to Oklahoma to move. I guess all the grad schools in Mongolia are full up for the fall semester.
It’s been quite a ride this past 22 years.
Happy birthday son.
Comments (12)
This was a lovely entry. I’m 22. All my dad could come up with probably would be something like: “When she was a baby she pooped a lot and cried. Then she grew up a bit and she liked weird stuff. She’s in college now. I dunno if she’ll ever get married. Maybe. Let’s hope. Yeah, she still borrows money. I think I’ll go to bed now.”
Yes. That’s what my dad would say.
Good stuff.
russian vodka . . . ah, now that brings memories. i think. there were pickles involved. and a nervous taxi driver. hmmm.
i was talking to the daughter today about the impending birth of her cousin this september, due shortly after the daughter’s 21st birthday. i was 21 when the daughter was born. i’m so glad that come september i’m going to have a niece or nephew, not a grandchild.
Your son sounds absolutely delightful !! I think it’s important to raise children who think for themselves and don’t take crap from anyone else. The only trouble with this is… you’re stuck with children who think for themselves
Happy Birthday to the both of you !!
aww, that was fabulous. Jordan is the best, dang valedictorian. I’m not surprised.
That’s really nice! My oldest son is 23
so I can relate !
Happy Birthday Jordan! And you dad, are a wonderful writer.My daughter is 15, which is the age I see your son met his fiancee, whoa!! He sounds like an awesome kid, uhm, I mean man! I know you are proud. I see that you are on a BA blogring. Do you still live in BA? Reason why I am asking is because that is where I live!
Happy Birthday to Jordan. That was a great entry! You know…I always have to panic at the thought of my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend getting serious…but come to think of it, I was 16 when I met the man I married and have now been married to for almost 17 years. I hope Jordan and LaRae are happy through all eternity! Take care. (is it me….or are there MORE and MORE comments on your site!!?) lol
I sure do think he’s pretty great. I’m glad I’ve been around for 7.5 of those 22 years.
Thank you! lol! It’s just good photography!
I’m actually 43!
Hope your son had a good birthday!!!
I’d just finished writing a fairly glowing entry about my own daughter when I came here to read about your son. I guess gushing about the “fruit of our looms” (as my hubby and I call the kids) is something we moms and dads must do from time to time. Jordan sounds like one terrific guy–you have every reason to be proud! I hope his birthday was great and his marriage is long and blessed.
The relationship you two have is awesome. I wish I could have that with one of my parents. And, your son is amazing and an awesome friend.