March 10, 2005
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Edit: At the time of this edit/entry I have received 18 comments. I wish to thank each of you who stopped by my site and took a moment to leave a note. As a result of your generous outpouring of comments, the authorities have released me from the mandatory 72 hour lockdown/suicide watch that I was under, and are again allowing me to possess sharp objects. The .44 has gone back in the night stand and all is right with the world. Some people did indicate that pandering for comments is an indication that I am truly pathetic. Well…I may be pathetic, but I got more comments than you…nany nany nu nu! (Pathetic and immature; it’s a great way to go through life!)
Now that my spirits are restored, I’m headed down to
MY FATE IS IN YOUR HANDS
Lately I’ve felt listless, depressed, discouraged, and generally morose. Unable to get out of bed in the mornings; I’ve been spending my days eating Hagen Das, smoking unfiltered Camels, drinking cooking sherry straight from the bottle, and watching Jerry Springer re-runs. Deep introspection into the cause of my depression yielded few insights. I even wrote Ann Landers about it and got really pissed off that she didn’t write back until I remembered she was dead.
Then, as I was surfing through Xanga posts, I suddenly realized the reason for my suicidal funk:
I have extreme comment envy.
It’s true, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I spend lots of time composing my posts and I’ve never gotten more than six comments. I generally average only one or two. As I surf through Xangaland, I’ve noticed that some folks get 10, 20, even 50 comments on a single post. I’ve tried to determine what it is about their posts that merit so much ardent blog worship. One thing I have noticed is that the people who often get lots of comments tend to be attractive college women. That’s not going to be an option for me unless I procure a time machine, gender reassignment surgery, a Hollywood special effects team, and lots and lots of counseling.
So I’m asking for your help. If you stop by my site from time to time, would you leave me a comment below and let me know? I have one hand on the keyboard of my laptop and the other on a loaded .44 with a single bullet. My fate is in your hands.
Comments (25)
I have the same problem. I’ve gotten through it by believing that no one actually reads my blog, and thus being plesantly surprised when they do.
If you have the .44 when I get back home, let me know, I’d love to go out and *cough* target practice *cough*.
Hey there little darlin! YOU are the only person that can make a suicidal post a silly one!! lol I am sorry, I have not been by much lately. I had posted a while back that I was going to be commenting on the people’s sites who commented on mine each time. I just got SO behind in reading posts and now that I am back to work full time it is like next to impossible!!! I know I missed your last post….I saw it but I never had a chance to read it so I will have to go back and read it. I LOVE reading your posts. I know I hate to see when people have like 30 comments….wierd. BUT….I bet those people DON’T take the time to post on everyones sites….in fact I KNOW they don’t…..if they did, they have no life! lol Take care and have a great day!
I actually think you should use the .44 on your son and me for picking out invitations with ribbons that require assembly.
Seriously.
I actually decided to stop by through my aunts site, silvernicks! But anyways, i am really bad about reading and not commenting so i would definately be cause of “Comment Envy” I could see that. I do hope your problem is cured soon, and terribly sorry about that Ann Landers thing, thats usually the way things happen for me. Anyways, just a note, to say hey and have a good day!
LOOK THERE…….you DID get more comments!! YEAH!!!
I am one of the guilty ones who reads and sometimes does not comment. I never know if my comments are welcome. It’s friday. That’s always a good day. Hope yours is awesome.
See, I’m going the other direction with comment envy. Instead of suicide, I’m moving to Montana, buying several semi-automatic weapons and lying in wait until the moment is right for a sneak attack on all of those folks who do get more than six comments. I wonder how much a shack in the woods costs?
Well I just cant sit by and watch
Cindy in Texas
someone suffer from comment envy!
So here is one more!
Now put that .44 down right now
Come join my blogring you can get
there from my site. It is 40 pluser’s
oldies but goodies. There are a lot of
very friendly and talkative people there
Some I know personally. So come on by
my site and join the blog ring
and in no time you’ll be getting lots of comments!
Post a story about your ex-husband and you’ll get plenty of comments.
Don’t shoot! But lose the clown- they freak me out…
Hey don’t shoot come on over to grandma place. Cindy told me to come over.See we all care
*snerk* sad crying clown. Wow, I didn’t get this many comments even when I dyed my hair bright red - yay for comment pandering! Maybe you should dye your hair…say bright yellow? I bet that would get many an e-prop.
So, I’m here for two reasons. Sivernicks said I had to, but I didn’t (my bad), and then you came to me. These are my comments for this page, and they go in order…comment…hilarious, but T.M.I…I’m a born-again christian who is a registered Democrat that voted Republican the last two major elections, and I concur… I’m a 43 year old Ma’am ’cause I don’t do P.C…and last but not least, my life for Walmart. Great job dude!
You’re welcome! Glad you joined
the blogring! Feel free to check out some
of my commenters, they are all nice people
I’m sure they would be glad for you to stop by
Have a good weekend!
I feel your pain brother. I feel it deep.
So, you’re basically another guy typing one handed at the computer ?
I guess I stopped by on the right night. Consider yourself visited and commented!
LOL Sorry but,,,,,,,,,, LOL
Glad to hear it! I like Josh Groban!
Are an Okie!
*duh*^^^ that was s’posed to say ‘are
you an okie’?
i’ve never been to your site before, so how could i comment? you amuse me.
Good morning. See now that we’ve been here you will never beable to get rid of some of us. Hope you had a great weekend.
I found your site through the 40+ers blogring. It looks like a lot of things my husband would really enjoy reading! Looks like this posting did the trick to get your comments. Keep up the good work.
Okay…The clown scares me a little.
JLa
I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner. Everyone at my work reads your posts, but they don’t have xanga, so they don’t comment. But they, as do I, love reading your posts. I’ll try and comment more often.