June 11, 2012
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WHY I’M A PRO-CHOICE CHRISTIAN (THE PUT UP OR SHUT UP CHALLENGE)
For many years of my life I was staunchly pro-life. As a young youth minister I taught the teenagers in my church that abortion was a black and white issue…always wrong…end of story. Then two sets of events slowly changed my perspective.
For two years in the early 80’s I was on staff at a church in a small town in the very southwest corner of Oklahoma. It was an ultra-conservative farming community and it was hours away from any big city. There were two 16 year old girls in my youth group who both became pregnant about the same time. In this community, an unplanned pregnancy would have been the ultimate family humiliation. There was no avenue in that town at that point in time for an abortion. Before either family knew their daughters were pregnant the girls took desperate measures. One girl attempted to abort herself with a coat hanger and almost bled to death. The other girl attempted suicide by drinking Drano and had to wear a colostomy bag for years. Suddenly my black and white world didn’t seem so black and white anymore.
Even though my beliefs were shaken I clung to them to them tightly and later decided to do something that might have provided a way out for those two girls. Years later I took a job as a house-father at a home for unwed pregnant teenagers. I wanted to be part of a ministry that provided a positive alternative to abortion and a nurturing atmosphere for girls who were going through a difficult situation.
I was a house-father at that home for just over 3 years. During that period 76 girls came through our home. The youngest was 11 and the oldest was a mentally impaired girl who was 22. Many of their stories would rip the heart right out of your chest.
The number of girls that chose to keep their child and the number of girls who chose to give their child up for adoption was almost evenly split. Over the course of that three years I noticed something about that decision process that really began to bother me. In almost all of the cases in which the girl understood that her maturity level and lack of support made it a wiser decision for her to give up her baby were the ones that I would have chosen to have had the best chance of being a good parent. Conversely, the girls who had no clue about what lay ahead of them and chose to keep their babies are the ones I desperately hoped would give their child up for adoption.
I knew the situations that the girls who chose to keep their babies were walking back into. Not all of them were bad, but many were. I had met their drug addicted friends and their abusive boyfriends, and I had seen the poverty that many of them came from. Having grown up in an abusive environment myself, I new full well what lay ahead for many of those babies and it made me physically ill when I saw them walk out of the door.
Is it my place to say that it would have been best if those babies had never been born? Of course not. Am I glad my mother chose not to abort me? Of course I am. I understand the biblical principles behind being opposed to abortion but as those years went by, my world became grayer and grayer.
I’m proud of the three years that I worked there. I think the Christian organizations that provide this kind of service are on the right track and I applaud them. I certainly would rather see a child being given up for adoption than being aborted.
But I also understand that the bible is not the basis for everyone’s beliefs and it’s not my place to try and legislate the morality of others. It may be a black and white issue for many, but it’s not a black and white issue for everyone.
While I believe that the Government needs to stay the hell out of our bedrooms and that a woman has a right to choose, for me it’s about more than just those political talking points. It’s about real people, dealing with real issues, and seeing the bigger picture rather than just a tiny slice of it. (For a great take on this issue you really need to read my friend Miss Order’s “Greater Considerations.”)
We can debate abortion forever and no one is going to convince anyone else of their position. So instead of doing that I want to extend a challenge to Christians. If you’re a Christian and you believe that abortion is murder under any circumstance then I understand that you need to fight against it. But rather than trying to force your beliefs on others why don’t you do something substantial to provide an alternative. I’m not talking about about giving 10 dollars a year to some pro-life counseling service that advertises on a billboard. I’m talking about really giving a big chunk of your life. I gave three and a half years, what are you going to give?
So there’s my challenge: Put up or shut up.
Comments (10)
BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO!!!!!!
This has been my position for years. It is so easy to condemn abortion and then walk away. I will have more respect for the person who is adamantly against abortion but works hard to help women prevent pregnancy (and not through just preaching abstinence) and help women while they are pregnant and then after they have the baby if they decide to keep the baby.
I really have enjoyed your posts that I have read from recommendations from Nina and Tracy.
[But I also understand that the bible is not the basis for everyone’s beliefs and it’s not my place to try and legislate the morality of others.]
Even if it involves murdering a baby? Are you against legislating morality for other things because someone’s belief isn’t in the bible? If someone murders or rapes someone, we shouldn’t legislate morality because the rapist doesn’t believe in the bible? If abortion is murdering a baby, which many believe it is, then they are right for wanting to legislate morality against that murder.
[ If you’re a Christian and you believe that abortion is murder under any circumstance then I understand that you need to fight against it.]
I’m glad you said that.
[ But rather than trying to force your beliefs on others why don’t you do something substantial to provide an alternative. I’m not talking about about giving 10 dollars a year to some pro-life counseling service that advertises on a billboard. I’m talking about really giving a big chunk of your life. I gave three and a half years, what are you going to give? ]
That’s a good suggestion but it’s also just a talking point. There are millions of people that are starving in the world. Just because someone does’t give a big chunk of their life to help the people starving, doesn’t mean they don’t care.
[We can debate abortion forever and no one is going to convince anyone else of their position.]
Agreed
I agree that it is a gray area. In the town I lived in,a young girl, when trying to tell the father of her pregnancy, was so distraught that she grabbed his father’s policeman’s revolver and killed herself. This is a multiple tragedy because of the death of this promising young girl, her baby and then the young father spent a few years getting in trouble with the law. I, too, understand the moral dilemma.
Many christian don’t want to face the situation that just as many of them get abortions than non-christians….it is often a one shot deal. It is the Christian community and their treatment of those who get pregant outside of marriage that lead to this. Good post. For me change starts from the bottom up, not by laws etc. At least in this kind of thing.
Again, how do we christians deal with those who have ‘fallen’, do we condemn, we all fall and need compassion.
peace
mark
One thing I always think when people tell me they donate money to crisis pregnancy centers, etc., is that there is no way they are donating enough money to make up for the cost of raising one single child from birth to age 18 (much less college!!). Also, Joel makes the point that it really doesn’t count if you are ready to adopt that baby. Yes adoption is wonderful BUT it doesn’t count when you are getting something that huge out of the deal. Not exactly selfless, if you know what I mean. As always, when the actions back up the mouth, the mouth makes a lot less trouble!
@musterion99 - “Are you against legislating morality for other things because someone’s belief isn’t in the bible? If someone murders or rapes someone, we shouldn’t legislate morality because the rapist doesn’t believe in the bible? If abortion is murdering a baby, which many believe it is, then they are right for wanting to legislate morality against that murder.”
I think there needs to be a distinction drawn between laws that can be defended on a secular basis and ones that can’t. Laws against murder, rape, theft make sense from a secular perspective, even if they can also be defended on a religious basis as well. By contrast, opposition to things like gay marriage and abortion can only be convincingly defended within a religious worldview.
@zoetherat - I think murdering a baby in the womb, which many believe it is, is a secular reason. It’s just amounts to who gets to decide whether it is and who gets to pass which laws.
@musterion99 - I’ve heard some religious people say that they have good secular reasons for being against abortion, homosexuality, etc. However, very few non religious people share their views. To me, that’s a strong indication that these positions aren’t very defensible outside of a religious worldview. After all, we don’t see this discrepancy regarding other laws… laws against murder, rape, or theft for example. Religious and non religious people are equally in favor of those laws. Yet, when it comes to abortion and homosexuality, there’s this discrepancy, and the only way i can account for it is if these positions make much more sense within a theistic worldview. So when a religious person says he’s against abortion or homosexuality for secular reasons, i suspect that he’s simply underestimating the way his religion and upbringing have influenced how he sees these issues.
@zoetherat - The bottom line is what is law. Abortion used to be illegal. Now it’s not. Maybe in the future it will be again. People are going to believe what they want to believe.