April 14, 2008
-
The Resolution
THE RESOLUTION
Thank you to everyone who offered their advice on how to best handle my recent “less than professional” behavioral episode. I thought you might be interested in the outcome.
I called the young man and offered to take him to lunch. During lunch, I apologized for the manner in which I had spoken to him, but asserted that my basic message remained the same. I wished him the best of luck with his future and told him that if there was ever anything I could do for him, not to hesitate to call.
Then I put my arm around his shoulder, walked him out to the parking lot, and shot him in the back of the head.
Ok…actually, I didn’t do any of that. I was planning too, but then I got some news. I didn’t mention in my last post that in addition to working part time for the church, he is also a part time middle school music teacher. Several of the middle school students who attend our church happen to be in his class. It seems that he has been telling them that he had to leave because everyone at their church was mean to him and that their church is filled with some bad people.
I’m sorry, but if you feel it is appropriate to whine about your lot in life to 12 years olds and to try and turn them against their church, you are simply slime.
I didn’t have a great deal of respect for him to begin with, but what little I had has gone out the window.
There won’t be any apology from me. In fact, he should probably stay clear…
I’m packing.
Comments (22)
applause! he sounds very immature.
Sounds like he needed the talking to… in fact he may need another one…
Well, that puts a different light on it, doesn’t it? He doesn’t sound any more mature than the 12 year olds he teaches.
Wow… I read both posts so I would understand how things were resolved. I’m on staff at a large church and believe me, I know about the politics that goes on. Yes, people are people no matter where they work and back-stabbing does happen. I’ve been the recipient of stabbing and it’s not pleasant. That person was let go, thankfully, and things got much better. Anyhow, if someone cannot take criticism, even harsh criticism, in life, how are they to grow? I still think you should humble yourself and apologize, if for no other reason than taking the high road. I know, the high road sucks almost all the time, but don’t stoop down to his immature level. I think it will help you to let it go easier and move forward in ministry with someone else. Then you can say that you did everything you could. Oh boy… church politics sucks, but from what I’ve read from you over the past couple of years, you’re a great guy who does the right thing… most of the time.
Playing the devil’s advocate, perhaps he’s right to turn them against such a church since it employs YOU.
I’m calling BS on this post. You knew you were an ass hat and now you’re trying to lessen your status as an ass hat.
Really, it’s OK, we’re all ass hats from time to time.
So go on ahead and apologize to him … it’s not going to hurt you. You don’t want to be stooping to his level of immaturity, and besides, then you’ll feel better about how you handled it, (and if he continues the way he is, then you can sue him for slander or libel or whatever. LOL… ) j/k … I grew up completely surrounded, enmeshed, inundated, and choked by the church and the accompanying church politics. Too human for God, imnsho… While I’ll admit there are a few things I miss about it, in general, I’m happy to be out of it.
I agree with LetMeGoToo….It’s still a good idea to apologize, just to be the bigger man. But only apologize for the way it came off, not your words, since it sounds like he needs some more disclipline.
Asshat!! That’s such a funny word!
It’d be nice if the same kids were to come back with a nicely repeated message from you (unmarketed, of course), of how you mentioned to the children how you had been, regretfully, a little harsh (or not in-control). To think of your Christianly regret would heap coals of fire upon his head, as you know. He’d probably think at once of how immature he’d been to spread his bile among the lambs.
One would hope.
Ok, you’re back on my Christmas card list.
That is pathetic. Obviously he has no adult friends to confide in. That proves that he is probably not the person for the job. Have a great day!
I stand by my comment. He deserved it, and you just happened to be packin’ as that cluster idiot came by… You should be glad to be rid of him.
He’s just using another atheist homosexual tactic to turn children into satan worshippers.
I had this teacher in high school, the only black person on the faculty, and she used to whine to us about how she had to work so hard and for so long to get all the way up to teacher at a private secondary school. It was working until we found out her father was a South American ambassador to the US.
Moral of the story: teachers suck.
Yes, he is immature, and doesn’t deserve forgiveness, but then, I don’t deserve forgiveness either, and yet I’ve gotten it, unconditionally, from God through Jesus.
Because indeed you are the bigger man, you will eventually apologize to this rather immature young man…..lucky us that our kids continue to be adolecents well into their 30′s….how did that happen?
At least 3 to 4 times a day I catch myself saying to my kids, “when I was your age….” and in each phrase I cut off abuptly I come to the realization that when I was their age I was way more responsible and frankly, people could count on me because of it….so, why are my kids not like me? Because I allowed it, that’s why…..
Bring your heat when you come down. We’ll do some target practice.
I knew it! He really is seven years old, right?
Almost thou persuadest me to get involved in church again, lol.
Keep packing!
Smiles!!!!
Mark, just goes to show… trust your gut, man.
What a jerk, I agree with fevered_angels advice.
Packing? What did I miss, where ya goin?
@Collotype - ”He’s just using another atheist homosexual tactic to turn children into satan worshippers”
You ARE kidding, right?
Are you SERIOUS? What a little… Wait. I must restrain. This is a public forum. Let’s just say, based on my previous assessments of this individual’s character and his general maturity, I AM NOT SURPRISED HE CONFIDES IN MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS.
I still don’t think you should feel bad at all. He’d managed to piss of one entire group he worked with, including the “nice” people. (-: Like I said right after “the incident”, Good for you! He needed to be informed of the error of his (abrupt, unprofessional, ineffective & otherwise annoying) ways and God help everyone who has to work for/with him in the future. Has anyone called the church that has supposedly employed him full-time to warn them? (-:
PS. The hypothalamus IS responsible for sex hormone production, so maybe you are right…
PPS. Did you pay for lunch?
@H_loves_C -
Yes. Noting your atheist atom profile pic, I assume we have many things in common. Noting your response to my comment, I’m guessing sarcasm is not one of them.