February 14, 2008
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HONEY BUNNY WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND
A couple of months ago I was assimilated into the collective. Yes, I can admit it…I opened a MySpace account.
Since that time a veritable bevy of hot, sexually curious, 22 yr old nurses/students/actresses/waitresses/massage therapists have flooded my inbox with requests to be my friend. Honey Bunny is only the latest in long line of sultry vixens lined up for a slice of Cold Skivvies.
And really, you can’t blame them. Perhaps it’s the way my stomach creeps seductively over my belt like Jell-O oozing out of pantyhose, or maybe it’s the way my eyebrows stand straight up like possessed party favors. Perhaps it’s the sunlight-like yellow hue of my toenails, or maybe it’s just the way the moonlight glistens off my bald spots that makes these women want to rip off my shirt and run their slender fingers through my luxurious back hair.
I don’t know what it is, but it’s apparent that this schoolgirl is hot for teacher.
One of my friends here at work had the nerve to suggest that these girls aren’t interested in me at all and if I clicked on their profiles I would be re-directed to porn or adult dating sites. Is that not the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? I know the truth, he’s just jealous that Honey Bunny wants me to be her Pooh Bear.
Crap, I just clicked on Honey Bunny’s profile and I was taken to desperate_horny_middleaged_men.com. Man, that really takes the inflation out of everything that was…well…inflated.
Actually, on this Valentines Day and every other Valentines Day I thank God I’m not out there searching for Honey Bunny. Even though it may be old fashioned, and even though it may be passé, I am very glad to be able to define myself as a “very happily married man.”
I’m fortunate to have found a smart, beautiful woman who has the grace (and courage) to overlook the expanding waist line and the bushy eyebrows and all of the other rough edges and love me for who I am.
That’s worth more than a million Honey Bunnies.
Happy Valentines Day babe.
Comments (19)
Awww, that is sweet! But I am glad you first cracked us up with your “flattering” self-description!
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your wife!
Kathi
Thanks for the laugh. I think your wife probably has more depth than Honey Bunny anyway. She is very beautiful by the way.
You boiled it all down to “perfect”!!! There is something about being with each other so long, that his breath is an alluring smell, not to mention that sweat smell after a day of working in the yard or garage… and then there’s those awesome hairy arms and legs! Yes, there’s nothing that can take the place of my guy… to steal some words from an old song. Happy V Day!!! Thanks PS it only gets better too!
I’m fairly certain that she overlooks all your imperfections because you, in all your love-is-blind kindness,
choose to overlook the two highly distracting, yet oh-so-shiny, growths that have sprouted from her noggin’!
Bravo! Hats off to you! I admire your spirit and attitude. And when you say “Happily married…” ,all the rest of us happily marrieds know what you’re really meaning to say… Wink,wink!
Honey Bunny says she likes me better anyway.
The way you describe yourself is bound to make any 22 year old nurse/student/actress/waitress/massage therapist hot for you! hehehe
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your lovely wife!
You HAVE a Honey Bunny of your very own! And I’m sure she loves you – even AS described!!!
Just for the record….we 50 year old plus women are finding 50 year old plus men hotter than we used to… even with the bushy brows..so it is just not those young 20 year olds anymore
Your wife not only looks adorable but looks like she has brains and a sense of humor too.
Thanks for the laugh ya old fella.
Shoot, for a second I thought this one was about me
Beautifully written. I totally agree!
Looks to me like you already have a hunny bunny…and she is beautiful.
dang i thought those girls only wanted ME to be their friend!
Honey Bunny is so misunderstood. She is so frail.
Very nice post.
Regards,
And the men make out like bandits once more. You get offers from Honey Bunny, and I get pictures of weird sexual devices posing as kitchen utensils posted by rapidly aging (ahem) middle aged men.
Your very own Honey Bunny beats the plaid skirt off of blondie, anyday.
That is an awesome pictures of Kathy!!! For some reason that really made me smile. (-:
I had some comment to make that I thought up this afternoon but sadly I came home and took a nap and FORGOT. What a waste. What a loss. I’m sure there’s weeping and gnashing of teeth SOMEWHERE.
Gotta love a man who puts a valentine to his wife on the Internet. Kudos to you, Mark. Sorry about all the porn spam you are gonna get now, though.
I hate to break it to you, but Honey Bunny is really in love with my husband. He says he’s not interested.
Who is this Honey Bunny, and why is she stealing all of my best pictures? I can never wear that skirt in public again!