RANDOM STUFF

Does anyone else find it odd that Fat Tuesday and Super Tuesday fall on the same day this year? I suppose this means that there will be lots of drunken people at the polls; which may, or may not be a bad thing. However, since Lent begins the next day; I fully expect any of you who vote for Mitt Romney on Tuesday to repent on Wednesday and spend the remainder of Lent flogging yourself daily.

I had third row tickets to see George Carlin last Friday. He began by mentioning that he had just turned 70 (69 with one finger up his ass, as he so poetically put it) and I’ll have to admit, that from 20 ft. away he’s not looking so good these days. He only did an hour’s worth of material, but hey, he’s 70 years old so I gave him a break. I really wanted to buy one of the “Simon Says Fuck You” or “Jesus is Coming, Look Busy” T-Shirts in the lobby, but I can’t wear them to work, and the only place I ever go socially is church so I passed.

I discovered by reading my son’s Facebook page that I have a Grand Dog. His name is Deputy Chip. Grand Dog shower gifts may be sent to me directly.

On average I take about 40 round trip flights a year. I thought I had encountered every possible travel nightmare imaginable. However, on the way back from a short vacation in Utah last week with my family I entered the seventh level of airline hell. Here is the abbreviated story: Snowstorm…delayed at gate…start to take off…warning light…back to gate…fix problem…de-ice plane before second take off….de-icing fluid in the electronics…hour of diagnostics…missed connection in Las Vegas…running from gate to gate on standby…discovering (after not getting on five consecutive flights) that they had inadvertently dropped our name off the standby list…beating the ticket agent to death after discovering that they had inadvertently dropped our name off the standby list…catching last flight out to Phoenix…Phoenix to Tulsa flight delayed by four hours…getting ready to land in Tulsa and the navigational beacon goes down…diverted to Kansas City for more fuel…sitting on the ground in Kansas City for two hours while they de-ice the runway in Tulsa…arriving in Tulsa 22 hours after taking off in Salt Lake City.

Three round trip flights to Utah – $1,200.00. Having 20 books full of free drink coupons in my carryon because I’m a frequent flyer – priceless.

THE TWO FACES OF JORDAN

I’ve written often about my son. He is a neuroscientist at Baylor University and there is no parent on the planet more proud of their child than I am. Here is a picture of Jordan in his lab:

Here is a picture of Jordan on the weekends:

Hey, even neuroscientists have to unwind.

AND THE SURVEY SAYS…

I’ve noticed that surveys are becoming more and more prevalent as blog fodder.  Hoping to add to the endless list of crap that gets forwarded to you everyday, I’ve put together the following survey/quiz. If you don’t fill this out immediately and tag 30 additional people to fill it out as well, President Bush’s current attempts to negotiate peace in the Middle East will be in vain and it will be all your fault.

In the event that you have an accident later today, are you currently wearing clean underwear?

Do you think marklabouff looks more like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Please support your answer.

Do you think identity theft could ever happen to you? Please list your social security number, checking account number, and the number of your credit card with the highest available balance in your answer.

Ginger or Mary Ann? Compare and contrast.

Does your employer know you’re responding to this survey on company time?

What is the one thing you’ve done in your life that your mother would be the most embarrassed about if she knew? Provide details.

Do you wash your hands EVERYTIME you go to the restroom? Come on, be honest.

Do you have a MySpace page? Are you embarrassed by that fact? I am:

http://www.myspace.com/marklabouff  

Have you ever written a letter to Penthouse Forum?

Have you ever been the subject of a letter written to Penthouse Forum?

Have you ever been mellow?

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Do you feel like we do?  (If you are under 40 and understood the last three references, move forward two spaces)

If a train carrying Dennis Kucinich left Ohio headed west at 40 mph and a train carrying Fred Thompson left California headed east at 50 mph would anyone care? Show your work.

Does your carpeting match your drapes? (OK…that was out of line)

Express your feelings about this survey in a poem or a collage (your choice).

Thanks for taking time to respond to the survey. I look forward to your answers.