December 26, 2007
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HO, HO, HO, AND MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS (PART 2)
If you’re anything like me, by the time the day after Christmas arrives you are so sick of Christmas music that even the sound of someone whistling “Jingle Bells” makes you want to castrate an elf with your bare hands. Ok, maybe that’s just me, but the point is that after two of months of listening to bad holiday Muzak you start to wish that anyone performing “Silent Night” would just please shut the hell up and be silent. There are two holiday “classics”, however, that never fail to bring a smile to my face no matter how many times I hear them. The first is Cheech and Chong’s “Santa Claus and His Old Lady.”
The second may be a bit more obscure. It’s from the Sam Harris Christmas Album “On This Night “ and it’s called “Santa’s Blues.”
So in the continuing spirit of love and good will this holiday season I offer you the lyrics to what has to be the most sexually suggestive Christmas song ever recorded:
SANTA’S BLUES
Well, it’s Christmas Eve Baby
and Santa’s got a job to do.
Well, it’s Christmas Eve Baby
and Santa’s got a job to do.
I’ve heard that you’ve been naughty
So I thought I’d visit you.
I got a present for you baby
especially for you from me.
I got a present for you baby
especially for you from me (just as sweet as it can be).
and I can give it to you baby
right here under the tree.
Well, I knew when I got your letter
I’d give you something to unwrap.
So baby, just get over here
and sit on Santa’s lap.
Ooohh baby, I’ll fill you up.
I’ll fill you up
with good cheer.
So jingle my sleigh bells baby
‘cause Santa only comes once a year.
It’s a long, long time till next year
and you’ll be wondering where I’ve been.
It’s a long, long time till next year
and you’ll be wondering where I’ve been.
But you can count on me baby
‘cause I’ll be up and down your chimney
again, and again,
and again,
and again,
and again.
I really do hope that each and everyone of you are having a wonderful holiday season and that you have a splendid new year.
Comments (13)
I need to go find my hubby after reading those lyrics….either that or a cold shower! Whew!
Merry Christmas, Mark.
Hey now, where I come from Christmas is about family! And where I come from, we try our best to not get all sexually suggestive with our families. Except for that one time with my second cousin, but, I mean, I think we’re only related through marriage. And girls don’t count.
Happy Holidays!
What fabulous songs !! I’m also partial to Elton John’s “Ho, Ho, Ho, Who’d be a Turkey at Christmas”. Enjoy !!
Oh, and wanting to castrate elves with my bare hands has nothing to do with the music playing.
Bob and Doug McKenzies take on Twelves Days of Christmas is pretty diverting, too! Good New Year to ya.
Eeeeewww. Santa (1) is grossly overweight, and (2) smells like reindeer.
I gotta get that album! (just have to be careful who I play it for.
Doug and Bob McKenzie are good, but Cheech and Chong are my Christmas fave. “A little bit more magic dust…” Good times! Where’s Dr. Demento when you need ***far out*** Christmas tunes?
Have a merry New Year’s Eve, Mark!
I basically do not like Christmas music and here’s why. When I was 10, I got a Japanese transistor radio (which were high tech back then) and I could not wait to listen to the top 40, and you could listen right through the holes in the Leatherette case. Well, all I could get on my radio was that stupid Christmas music! I wanted to hear Duke of Earl or some other great song. I think that was the first major disappointment in my life, and I never got over it.
I have loved Sam Harris for 20 years now, so having him sing to me might make me like the stuff.
Thanks for sharing the Cheech and Chong video. It reminded me of why I don’t smoke pot. For a truly inspirational, life changing, down to earth Christmas video, I invite you to check out my post from Christmas Eve. You’ll never be the same….
Happy Holidays to one of my favorite Xangans!
OMG Cheech and Chong!!!!!!! They were popular during my pot smoking days, the best ha ha ha
Black patent leather choose ha ha ha
Awsome!!! Love Cheeck and Chong!!! Majic dust!!!
Gotta get that album again!!!
Smiles!!!
Hey, I think I had a dream about your house and a new year party last night. Not sure what that means, but hopefully it’s a good omen. (-: