April 23, 2007
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EDIT: I haven’t gotten all the trim back up yet but…
Who’s my home improvement bitch now!
HUMILIATION, YOUR NAME IS HOME DEPOT
Most men are born with a fear of doing home improvement projects that are outside their scope of ability…sane men anyway. I was born without this fear and so far it has only caused us to be homeless on three occasions.
Several years ago I built a deck and recessed a hot tub into it. I even ran the electrical service to the hot tub. Only one person has been electrocuted so far, so I’ve always considered the project to be a success. Typical of most males, one successful project has me convinced that I can tackle any job. Of course, since that time I have fallen through my ceiling, off a ladder, and sacrificed many pints of blood to the construction gods, but I remain undaunted.
I have plans to paint my house this summer. We picked out colors at the paint store and I decided to start by painting my front door an “accent” color. It looked “burgundy” on the paint chip. In real life, it came out more of a “popsicle purple.” This has caused most of our neighbors to think we’ve lost our minds.
The obvious thing to do would be to repaint the front door, but that’s much, much too simple. Instead, we decided to replace the front door with a nice wood grain door with some stained glass in it. I was convinced I could handle installing a pre-hung front door so off we went to Home Depot.
When I got the door home and unloaded it, I immediately noticed a problem.
Did you know that doors can swing open either to the right or to the left?
I didn’t! So, of course, the door had the hardware on the opposite side of where it is on our current door. If I had gone ahead and installed this door it would have meant that people entering our house would walk immediately into a wall. I strongly considered this as a possible alternative to having to suffer the humiliation of taking the door back, but I finally sucked it up and hauled it back to the store.
I came home with the new door and began taking the trim off on both sides of the existing door. I got it all taken off to the point at which wind can now blow through the front wall of our house strong enough to blow magazines off the coffee table. I got ready to take the old jamb out…and I noticed a problem.
Did you know that doors come in different jamb widths?
I didn’t! The jamb on the door I bought was two inches narrower than the jamb on our existing door. I considered suicide rather than having to go back to Home Depot, but I finally tucked my tail between my legs and crawled back.
The man at Home Depot explained to me that I could go ahead and use the last door I purchased as long I built a custom jamb extension to fill the gap. He explained this to me like he was talking to a sixth grader that hadn’t quite grasp toilet training yet.
I’ll take a picture of the front door once I finish getting it installed.
Unless I decide to sell the house as is, and move so I don’t have to make another trip back to Home Depot.
Comments (39)
Ha! You and my husband both have whatever that gene is that makes a man say , “I’m going to do this project myself because (a) I can , and (b) I’m too cheap to pay someone else to do it.” I was without a kitchen for a YEAR!! Why? Because my husband could install recessed lighting/hang cabinets/lay a new floor/put in french doors/put in bigger windows BY HIMSELF!!! And in reality, yes! he could! But he also has a full-time, travel required, 50+ hour a week JOB! Needless to say (but I’m saying it anyway), the house we’re buying needs absolutely no work, except for covering the shrimp-colored living room with a different paint. And I’m doing that, so that I don’t have to wait six months for it to be completed.
Dude! There’s this new invention that can help guys like you. It’s called CONTRACTOR. You can find it in the yellow pages. I swear it’s true!
Luckily for me my husband grew up working in his dad’s hardware store so I don’t ever have to worry about being electrocuted in the hot tub or having my front door fall off the hinges.
I would have stuck with the wall. It would be a conversation piece. Of course, that conversation would take place outside, but that would just add to the excitement!
There’s even a nifty little trick to easily tell if you need a right or left-handed door, but I’m not sure I’m allowed to share the info with non-club members.
I love Home Depot except my years (and years) of renovating experience has led me to the realization that there are many things best completed by writing a check…
However I am a GODDESS with a paintbrush!
You have grasped toilet training, right?
I learn way more from my mistakes than from when things go right. If I ever needed a door installed, you’d totally be the go to guy.
none of those little projects ever goes off as smoothly as it is supposed to. you watch those home improvement shows and voila! there is a new tile floor in the bathroom, and it only took 15 minutes!! The plumbing was installed without a hitch, without having to use any special tools or modifications….they should do a reality home remodeling show. file it under either comedy or tragedy.
Wouldn’t repainting the door have been simpler? Men always have to take the more difficult route, and they never ask for directions along the way. hehe
With a husband that basically lives at lowes, I have come tp realize, of course through him, that the people that work at lowes and home depot usually and almost always know less that what a typical person does about home repair. So usually they give wrong advice. but in your case you can build a jam to make the door fit. it isn’t all that hard more time consuming than anything. Oh don’t forget you have to make sure it is completely level or or door will not shut correctly.
My husband does home projects every year. This year he tackled putting new shingles onthe roof. One sit looks like shit, but doesn’tleak and the other side was laid correctly and also doesn’t leak. But we are the oly ones that usually notice that one side was laid wrong and the other wasn’t. He even informed me this year that next year he is installing new windows and new doors. I can’t wait cuz it means we will be sleeping in a house with atleast one window out each night until he is done.
Anyways I think I have rambled here on your site a little too long. Good luck getting your door in, even though it can be done and is fairly simple it can be a great pain in the ass. Best wishes
Nieza
What fond memories you bring back! I have remodeled 2 homes….well the last was almost a rebuild from the ground up. I learned a great deal about doors, windows, drywall, plumbing, electrical, laying tile…well, lets just say, the list is extensive. I did know both facts…the Home Depot in MS has a plaque dedicated to me!
I probably would have installed the first door upside down.
I like your plucky do-it-yourself attitude! And it’s good that learning is a lifelong activity for you – this should stave off Alzheimer’s. Hopefully there is no driving rain before the new door is fully installed…
ROFL. Whats worse than owning your home and renovating it? Renting your home and fixing it. Execpt your land lord, who is awesome in every sense of the word, has not the first clue on home repair. The plumbing in our bathroom make a good pratical joke for someone who has never visited our home before. Dont even ask about the electrical. You have to turn the light on in the living room to get the light in the kitchen to even think about working, and even thats hit and miss. This house may be the reason why my land lord wont even think about Home Depot.
i have never met a man who was afraid of doing his own projects. too lazy maybe. but no job is too big or difficult. especially when it means you can involve all of your guy friends. and beer. we women folk run and hide at the mall.
Oh God, Mark, that’s fabulous! Can’t wait to see the pic! –Glenna (http://www.afridgefulloffood.typepad.com/gsspot)
LMAO!….I knew all of the above…only because I have helped my husband install our front door…..3 times!….If he had listened to me about the staining and then varnishing the door beforehand it would have only been one time!…..LOL….Home Depot rolls out the red carpet for my husband….they got him well pegged!
I am handy with a hammer and known to have hit my thumb a time or two but I never remember how to tell a LH or RH door. Can’t remember which is a hip roof or gable either and I was a roofer..
Looks great!
that was a great read! thanks!
love and light
t
Looking good so far!
I think it looks great. A lot better than mine will look if I can convince my hubby to replace out front door.
OOOOOO….I’m impressed. You da man!!!!!!!
Oops! sorry…….
oh my gosh, you remind me of my dad SOOOOO much–he decided about 5 years ago he was going to do the plumbing for an entire bathroom for our basement… he eventually got it done–eventually meaning IT TOOK 5 YEARS!! and that was just for the plumbing–as of the moment, our “downstairs bathroom” consists of 3 stairs leading up to a platform, and a toilet sitting right in the middle! lol, there arent even WALLS!! it’s just a toilet on a platform in the MIDDLE of our basement!
but hey, you both got the job done, right? and that’s all that matters
It looks great! Will you be going back to Home Depot for a storm door? We recently had to replace the glass storm door. Got it at Lowe’s, and (wisely) decided to have them install it. It took the guy (who even looked like he knew what he was doing) almost THREE hours to do it! He worked on it from both the inside and outside. Bizarre.
Wasn’t it not too long ago that you fell off a ladder? Be careful!
Kathi
RYC: Surprisingly, NO. I think that says more about Joel than it does about me.
Oh, yeah, I also meant to mention that you and Kathy could probably start a whole new (and very lucrative – and possibly legal, too) business – traditional dentistry beautifully interwoven with that of the traditional “massage parlor”. So now, all the annoying time spent waiting for your dental appointment can be spend much more productively in pre-relaxing your teeth. I think this will have 2 fabulous results: 1) people will WANT to go to the dentist and 2) as a consequence, there will be fewer suicides among dentists!
You can just give me some stock options when this thing really takes off.
Love the door!!!! I’m impressed!!!
expunge WAs our home repair guy and good at it, I need to find a new one. The door looks great though.
Nice looking door.
RYC: You mean you’ve been to Home Depot 25 times in the last week and you haven’t noticed the comfort height toilets?! And yes, my hubby likes them because he can actually stand up again after he sits down. It’s a bitch getting older, ain’t it?
And by the way, I think it’s so funny how men get all excited about toilets!
ryc – well not usually… but that is what I don’t understand: why am I so excited about this little tomato? It isn’t a haberano to make it hot either. I don’t understand my own self.
Do you have to dress up real pretty on Sundays?
door looks pretty good! you must love mountain dew. try it with some chocolate.
Well, you know Home Depot is my favorite place in the world, so I would have gladly taken the door back for you. Now what I want to know is this: Has it rained there in Broken Arrow since you installed the door?
Your door situation sounds rough. These are the things they never talk about on those home makerover shows.
DUHHH… I’m surprised you didn’t use a ladder during the installation. In the rain, with a power tool.