March 9, 2007
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CAUSTIC CHRISTIANITY
As I’ve talked about many times before, I grew up Southern Baptist, I attended a Southern Baptist College, I attended a Southern Baptist Seminary, and I spent 17 years on the staffs of Southern Baptist Churches. I can recite the “Baptist Faith and Message” cover to cover. I own 32 double breasted suits and I used to use more hair spray than Donald Trump does to secure his comb-over in a hurricane. I can do a Billy Graham preaching impersonation that Billy himself would be jealous of. (I realize that now days I write about Airport Porn but that’s a whole other story).
In other words, I can speak “Christianeese” as well as any doe-eyed evangelist on the circuit but I choose not too. You wanna know why? Because it’s really, really offensive.
Don’t send hate mail! I don’t have anything against Southern Baptists. It’s a fabulous denomination that believes fervently in what they are doing. They do as much or more for disaster relief than the Red Cross does, and when you give money to the Southern Baptist Convention for hunger relief, not a single penny of it goes to administration. Many other main stream Protestant denominations do things just as noble and important, as does Catholic Charities, the largest private social services network in the world.
But I do want to make a suggestion: you need to change the way you talk.
Let me give you an example. I was reading the blog of a person who happens to be an atheist. A comment was left on their site from a Christian who stated that they pitied the person for their lack of faith in God. Did the person who left this comment intend to be offensive? No - they feel that their faith in God has given them fulfillment and purpose in life, and they truly want others to experience the same thing. Was what they said offensive? You’re damn straight it was, and it made me physically cringe when I read it.
I don’t know a great deal about the writer for whom the comment was left. I do know from reading their entries that they are an intelligent and thoughtful person. I also know they are a news producer which sounds like a job that requires a great deal of talent to me. I also know they have an autistic child that they write about with such joy and passion that it has jumped off the page and choked me up on more than one occasion.
Pity is something you have on a wounded animal. The blog writer I’m referring too does not deserve pity; they deserve the utmost respect and nothing less.
So…Christians everywhere…if you want to do more good than damage, please think about the words you use when you talk about your faith. Much of “Christianeese” comes off sounding as hateful, arrogant, and condescending as the “pity” comment did. Jesus never talked down to people, he talked too them.
Those of you on the other side – don’t get pompous. There was great exchange of lines on my favorite TV show at the moment…Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. One of the characters who happens to be a liberal was talking to another character on the show who is a Christian conservative. The character said “Christians hate liberals because you think, we think, you’re stupid, and we hate Christians because we think you’re stupid.” Arrogance and condescension are abundant in every ideology.
I’m really not one of those people who is big on everything being “politically correct” because it’s trite and dishonest and doesn’t foster real communication, but neither does using language that makes you come off looking like a prick.
I don’t quote many Bible verses so hold on to your hat, but here’s one for all of us Christians to think about: “May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and redeemer.” Psalms 19:14
Comments (31)
Excellently said. And I might add that some of these type of people come off as very judgmental…and the Bible says that we should “judge not lest ye be judged”…in other words, it is not up to us to judge others – believers or non believers – we have no right. There will come a judgment day but even then we won’t be doing the judging.
To be completely honest… Of course, the pontificating is a turn-off.
But for me, once I get the gist of someone’s unquestioning faith, from everyday interaction…
I’ve already lost respect on some level.
Plus nobody likes a Know-it-all!!!
Well said, sir
I may not need pity, but I do accept cash.
I wasn’t especially offended by the comment, but I do agree with your sentiment. And I must admit, I’ve been known to be condescending every once in a while.
I have set up an account, and am accepting the cash on Marc’s behalf.^
It’s a savings account, just in case he needs to buy his way into heaven…
Very thought provoking post. I feel that someone’s spiritual leanings are their own personal business like their sex life. To publicly attack someone with a different perspective goes against all the kindness that most religions preach.
If somebody chooses to be athiest its nobody’s responsibility to change that perspective but instead let them find their own path in life.
I avoid religious dogma because most of its symbology is lost in antiquity. I see no point in going through empty rituals with no true meaning for me. I prefer to find my spiritual way by my own discovery and any reading I may do. To adapt someone’s centuries old set of beliefs takes away my own power to decide what I do and do not subscribe to.
I do not see this as condescending or pompous. I am merely pulling my vote out of the scuttle going on at the playground. You kids figure it all out and I’ll be over here looking at the wonderment of nature and absorbing the energy of that beauty.
Thank you. Christ was a great man. Whether or not one believes he was the son of God, he was at the very least an enlightened human being who saw clear to the heart of things, mostly relationships with people. I am not Christian but I quote the NT frequently because of the sheer beauty of his words. But you are right. Those who are trying to evangelize cannot get out of their own way. Their ego’s way. They’re right there, front and center, standing in the light of the message they think they are conveying. And full of fear without realizing it. If the truth is the truth, no amount of shaking it will dislodge it. But question Christianity to one of the people you reference above and they go all wonky and hateful. Very sad. WWJD? probably smile and ask you a put-you-on-the-spot question. Mischievously.
I didn’t care for that comment either, but I figured my big brother could fight his own battles.
You have addressed this with a very nice balance.
“…for they shall cry unto Jehovah
because of oppressors,
and he will send them a saviour,
and a defender, and he will deliver them.”
(Isaiah 19:20)(ASV)-BibleGateway
“…At the time that God
has already decided,
he will send Jesus Christ
back again.”
(1Timothy 6:15)(CEV)-BibleGateway
JESUS DECLARED :
“I have come in My Father’s name
and with His power…”
(John 5:43)(AMP)-BibleGateway
“I will come with the mighty acts
of the Lord Jehovah…”
(Psalm 71:16)(ASV)-BibleGateway
“““`
Whew! Reverent LaBouff! I was going to hang on to my hat, but all I could find was that darn chapel veil I keep in my purse.
I only have faith because I want to believe it’s possible to turn water into wine.
And because I’m old *ahem*.
Hallelujah, praise the Lord, brother Mark.
I am Southern Baptist and I think your post was awesomely said. (is aweseomely a word?) I have found most recently that words are more sharp than a knife when spoken out of line. You know, with all of the horrible things that have happened in our lives lately here, we are having a HORRIBLE time with getting our tax refund back. I was talking to someone at the store the other day (I live in a small town) and really aggravated mainly with life in general, and I said that this particular tax company screwed up our taxes so we were still waiting on our refund. Well, apparently a worker from the tax company was somewhere within ears range and reported it back to the lady who did my taxes. Needless to say, she gave me the third degree when I went in there about how it was the IRS that is “screwing us over,” not them. I felt horrible….so horrible. I knew that I was taking my own frustrations out on the tax company, whereas in turn, this woman took it all to heart. I never felt so low in all my life. I did apologize for it and today when I went in there she was a LITTLE more friendly to me. I know…what do I expect?!?!
I don’t mean to write a novel here but my mom and I were discussing this same issue today of where some people who attend my church every time the doors open, are the same people who cuss like a sailor and send filthy e-mails! I think the thing is that everyone should walk a mile in someones shoes before they try to condem them. Our church does preach that we should love everyone….regardless of how they look, how much money they have, whatever color they are, regardless of how their lives are (drug dealers, etc) Every time someone says something negative about someone else, my teenage daughter reminds us that God made that person too! (yep….makes us feel pretty SMALL then) We are ALL now learning to do better….but hey…I’m a sinner so I can’t help it! lol
To be honest, I DO feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t have God in their life…BUT….I don’t preach to them and tell them they are wrong….that is only going to send them farther away. I pray for them. One of my favorite verses (yep, I am pulling out a bible verse) is John chapter 8 verse 7…”Let those who have not sinned cast the first stone.” More people should live by this verse.
I think I’ll find my way to church on Sunday.
may God save your soul. you know you’re really a heathen.
did i ever share with you my essay on the Bible thumpers who tried to save us poor heathen Catholics as we were coming out of mass? we were just in church, and yet we needed to be saved. methinks some people need to open their minds
Amen! Preach it, Bro, Mark!!!!
Nicely put…..
Well said, sir. I’ve never seen being a believer as an invitatation to go and be an offense to all people. If people are offended by Christ, that is between the two of them.
excellent post.
i loathe christianese, too. i appreciate one who can speak about their faith in Jesus in relevant ways: just talk like a *normal* person!
if i ever start to do this, kick me in the @$$.
The parallels of our lives are just downright scary. Bryan and I have been discussing this over the last couple of weeks. We, in a new and different exploration of our faiths, are finding it very difficult to even talk about because we get such a strong visceral response from the language associated with Christianity. I seriously can’t bring myself to say a variety of things about my faith-life but am unable to find a different way to address it without sounding like a double-breasted suit king of hypocrisies.
So I’m trying to figure out a new faith-language that actually makes sense and requires a focus on our own personal experience rather than how we’re supposed to feel about success and failure of others.
great post, and you presented yourself very well
i agree with you too–some christians (ones i know personally and ones whose comments i’ve read on blogs too) more often than not come across with the whole “my way is the right way, and you are a poor lost soul b/c u have different beliefs than mine.” so i completely understand where youre coming from with your statement on that.
i also have VERY VERY VERY Christian friends who completely respect the beliefs of other people, and are very respectful when they show disagreement with someone of a different religion or culture. as someone who has a lot of questions regarding religion–it is these people that i come to to have productive, enlightening, and respectful conversations with.
my impression on the people i just mentioned is one of utmost respect–far greater than that i have for the people who get defensive or offensive when it comes to their religion–those people seem to be a bit insecure about their faith, and thus, when they come across someone who differs from their beliefs, they feel the need to get all defensive about it.
also, one last thing i’d like to mention–it is not only Christians that speak “Christianese” i’ve come across people who speak “Islamese” and “Jewese” lol. and i dont think that Christians are the only ones who have members who need to uhm… “take it down a notch” sometimes. but otherwise–i love this post.
I have a lot of respect for Christians who espouse this kind of thought about those who may not agree with their beliefs. I myself grew up Mormon and a more pompous self righteous group I have never seen. Individually there are some wonderful ones, but as a group they are so convinced of their moral/spiritual/community/religious superiority that they scare me.
As a practicing Pagan and Wiccan and someone who finds the connection to my own Pantheistic beliefs as liberating and comforting as any Christian, I can tell you that a connection to the universe and the power that runs it is indeed compelling and liberating.
These are the connections that we as humans strive for and should embrace and celebrate, in whatever form they present themselves.
As for your post, all I can say is ‘Blessed Be’ or in Christianesse, ‘Amen’
I found that in my bc days, I would be offended by something someone “religious” said. Come to find out, they were not being cruel or talking down to me… it was my own guilty conscious interpreting what was said to me. Once I realized that, it sure made a big difference in my life. The person who offended me regularly for 5 years, never took offense back when I offered insult and rudenss to try to get her to shut up and leave me alone. God really used her and afterward I was most thankful that she did not shut up. I thought she was a stupid idiot person who just didn’t know how to have fun…. but no, she had God’s love for me in her heart. WOW!!! What a change!!! How real He is… I am in love with Him. He truly is the hound of heaven.
AWESOME quote, Mark~! Thanks!~
This was very good, Mark. It made a lot of sense, and I love your humor (I was on the floor once more reading your post – this time it began with the reference to the hairspray)!
In other news, I have become a LaBouffer. Does this mean I get to show up at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter?
Kathi
Dear Porn Star….errr…whatever…I ditto everything you just said and if I am ever guilty of such pious antics feel free to begin your comment to me with : “Dear Stupid…”
Totally agree with everything you said. I grew up in a very conservative church also and I cringe like you did when my friends make comments that aren’t intended to be offensive but come off sounding so condescending, as anyone who doesn’t follow their particular beliefs and lifestyle to the letter are obviosuly brain damaged and too stupid to understand the most simple spiritual concepts. Sounds like you and have some things in common. I was once also very religious. Now I consider myself very spiritual because I don’t find myself towing the party line as much or being as judgmental of those who choose their own path.
wish i had time to read all the comments, but i’m on my way to work. Excellent post!! I’m a Christian and i am often turned off by Christians myself. Kinda sad eh?
I think this was very well written. I dabbed with a bunch of religions before. I actually believed in Christianity the most. The reason I’m not a christian is because of the people I met when I went for church and bible studied for a year. They did just what you were talking about. They were talking at me all the time about being saved and how I was taking too long about everything. Instead of talking to me about why I was taking my time they just wanted to judge me. I thought well if being a christian made you into that person, I don’t want to be a part of that. So I stepped away. I haven’t really found another religion to replace it because nothing really appeals to me. I will just go on with my life jourany and maybe I’ll stubble into christianity once again in the future. ^_^
Well, I’d say “Amen” but…
Writing as an adult missionary kid no longer immersed in the dogma, I can totally see – and fully agree with – where you’re coming from in this post!!!)