February 24, 2007

• WARNING: EXPLICIT LYRICS

   

  This may well be my last post; not because I want to stop posting on Xanga, but because after people see the video below no one will ever come back for fear that they might be subjected to more of the same.

   

  Pat Trotta was the 30,000^th visitor to my site and in honor of that completely random accomplishment I told her I would write and video tape a rap song in her honor. I did this because it was the single most ridiculous thing I could think of doing, and after you see the video I’m sure you will agree that ridiculous doesn’t even come close to describing it.

   

  I asked Pat to provide me with some general information to use as material for the lyrics. She provided that information because she’s a very nice person. I, in turn, have completely betrayed her trust by using the material she provided to make horrible fun of her…this is because I’m an asshole.

   

  Pat…congratulations; (or perhaps “I’m really sorry” would be more appropriate) here is your song. I hope you’re really good natured, and for the rest of you, if you promise to come back I promise never to do this again.

   

  The lyrics are posted below the video, and a disclaimer is posted below the lyrics

   

   

  SHE’S PAT, AND SHE’S ALL THAT

   

  This rhyme’s for Pat who goes by Trotta

  She was the right clicker so now I sorta, gotta,

  Do a video,

  That you know’s

  gonna blow

  Cause I’m not a rapper

  Just an old white schmo

   

  Now Pat’s a gal who wants to be a writer

  She describes herself as a lover not a fighter

  She’s Italian and Irish

  not sure how much of which

  So if you give her any grief

  She’s gonna make you her bitch.

   

  Cause she’s Pat

  And she’s all that

   

  She’s not into rap with its hustle and flow

  Cause her favorite singer is – Manilow ?!?

  And if that’s not enough to make you suicidal

  She’s even a fan of American Idol

  She’s a bruiser,

  Ain’t no loser,

  and she drives a PT Cruiser

  Call’s it 109, after Kennedy’s boat

  Heck, I never knew that a Chrysler could float

   

  But she’s Pat

  And she’s all that

   

  She’s been married forever

  To the very same guy,

  His name is cigar man

  I’m here to say why

  We all know at times,

  Things don’t seem as they are

  Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

  But Pat says when her man gets bothered and hot

  Despite what Freud said…sometimes it’s not.

   

  Cause she’s Pat

  And she’s all that

   

  This song is over, gonna dismiss the band

  Put things back to normal in Xanga land

  Cause hearing me rap, well it just ain’t right

  So why don’t you click on over, and visit Pat’s site.

   

  Cause she’s Pat

  And she’s all that

  She’s Pat

  And that’s that

   

  Disclaimers:

  •  I make fun of the fact that Pat likes Barry Manilow. The last time Manilow was in Tulsa I went to the concert. I had to go alone because no one would go with me, but I went and I LIKED it…so get over it.

  •  I also make fun of the fact that Pat likes American Idol. I record every episode and I bought Chris Doughtry’s CD last week.

  • 7:09 pm
  • 45 Comments