February 4, 2007
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BOAT PEOPLE
No, this isn’t about the plight of Vietnamese refugees in the 70’s. This is about those annoying people you see out on the lake. The ones who drink too much and recklessly drive their over-powered water craft at high speeds frighteningly close to innocent swimmers, wearing bathing suits that reveal their religious orientation, and basically being obnoxious assholes. You know…boat people.
I’m one of them. Or at least I was until today.
Three years ago we got boat fever. We envisioned hours upon hours of lazy days in the sun, tooling around the lake, skiing and tubing, and perfecting our George Hamilton-like tans. We assumed we would be at the lake every weekend and that it was a wise expenditure…an investment in our marriage if you will. So, I took the “plunge” and bought a boat.
We took it out six times.
Based on what we paid for the boat, the cost of maintenance, and the cost of gas for the boat and gas for the SUV to pull the boat, I figure each hour I spent on the lake cost me $3,482.19.
I sold the boat today to a young couple. I could see the gleam in their eyes as they too envisioned the countless hours of fun ahead of them. Little do they know how big an anchor a boat can be.
I’m glad I’m past the “boat phase” of my life. It was a silly and juvenile obsession. I’ve got my heart set now on one of those huge touring motorcycles. I just know that my wife and I will spend countless hours on the back roads of Oklahoma. I’m thinking it will be an excellent investment in our marriage.
Comments (26)
“We’ve had a report of a weak rationalization in progress…..”
No, No, No,You need to buy a time share silly!
I’ll be watching the Sturgis webcam next year, looking for you.
You are still due for the midlife crisis sportscar. Don’t forget that one!
My indulgence was to get on stage. I did several barbershop chorus shows, realized that I loved being on stage and never got stage fright. When it was over I wanted to do it all over again. Why am I no longer doing it? Hours and hours of grueling rehearsal for a few seconds of fun. Wasn’t worth it if nobody is paying you major coinage to do so.
My next indulgence will probably be….um…lemme get back to you on that.
Chapter 21 is entitled:
“Sell the Damn Boat”.
yeah…working non-profit…what i don’t get paid in my salary, the agency makes up for in “perks”. among them: location, location, location (dowtown, one block from the river path), the view, underground parking and a free gym membership (ask me how many times i’ve used *that* in six years tho…it’s embarrassing–i’d rather not say…). i know how absolutely blessed i am to get that much, so no complaints here!
I’m trying this again. Chapter 21 in this book, “Simplify Your Life” by Elaine St. James is entitled,
“Sell the Damn Boat”.
Sounds like the two of you are the same suckers as the two of us.
You would look totally hot in black leather chaps, dude.
Good luck with that idea!
Boys and their toys! At least women’s toys are cheaper. Teehee! 
Mark, don’t you ever say anything that funny in my comments log again without warning me first!
))))))) I was innocently sipping, okay gulping, my martini-in-a-beer stein when I read that and I damn near choked to code status. Do you know how much it would tick me off to have to run my own code? 
)))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks, man, I loved that!
Of course you don’t need a boat. What you need is a FRIEND with a boat….
My mom and her husband are in their late 60′s and go everywhere on his motorcycle.
Sounds like you had no problem selling the boat! We too went through the boat AND the camper phase. We both love to fish, but unfortunately the majority of the people at the lakes love their jet skis and are like annoying mosquitos that you want to swat at. Camping is also not like it use to be back in our younger years…now you have to pay to have people set up right on top of you …these are the hard core campers too, who string their lights all around their campsite, have satellite dishes on top of their campers, so you hear their televisions going at night instead of the frogs & the crickets. When I go for peace & solitude, I don’t enjoy the crowds! Geeze…the more I type this the older I feel!
Yup, I agree…Mid-life crisis. But aint it fun????
I’m spending my mid-life crisis money on a plastic surgeon. Either that, or college for my kids. I’ll have to mull it over.
You mean there’s actually a body of water in your state large enough to hold a boat?
Sounds like my motorhome. A vortex that sucks the cash out of your pocket.
brrr… It’s too freaking cold to be thinking about boats. It’s zero out, man!
don’t do it. build an addition or take a cruise. buy her a diamond. i ‘d hate for you to have to write your blog with one of those mouth-operated things for paralyzed people.
RYC: sure i won’t tell who did it.
I often think I’d like a boat. Then I read something like this to shake me to my senses. Thanks!
Sounds familiar. Only, by the time we sold our wooden Cruiser, it was starting to rot from sitting out in the field next to our house—from the water that accumulated inside it. We lived a block from Lake Michigan. Found out too late that hubby got violently sick in the choppy Lake Michigan water!
Came here from Trotta 109′s blog. Have been sitting here reading your entries out loud to hubby. So funny. His sis works at the Atlanta airport. Will have to ask her how often that announcement comes on.
I came here from Trotta’s blog, too. Saw that mimiwi was there, and came here, and so I came here, too. I read back several posts, and I enjoyed them very much, so I will subscribe to you. (I am always a little surprised when I get a new subscriber out of nowhere, so I thought I would leave this explanation!)
Hey Mark! I don’t have a boat, but I have often heard that “The happiest day in a man’s life is the day he buys a boat. The second happiest day in a man’s life is the day he sells the boat.” I think this post is the epitome of that saying! If you are in the transportation mode, maybe you should try a tandem bike and if your wife is REALLY a good sport, she can ride in front! =) RYC: You always, always crack me up! Thanks for your comment on my site today. You just have a way with words! So, since you know I am concerned with hair and wardrobe and you have known hundreds of drummers, PLEASE GIVE ME SOME TIPS!!!!! LOL
This is terrific! You have succeeded in passing on a priceless education to some young people. And it sounds like, from the motorcycle dronings(sp), it is time for another trip around the moutain!
However, I will have to say a motorhome is a dandy way to blow your wad or is that w-odd? Whatever? Bless you!