December 26, 2006
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CHRISTMAS HERE AT THE NURSING HOME
I remember Christmases as a small child – the house awash in the glow of twinkle lights, brightly wrapped presents under the tree, mom on antipsychotic drugs, and my uncle Fred coming to visit, getting plastered and wandering naked into the street in front of our house at 3:00 a.m. Those are the Hallmark moments that we all cherish during the holidays.
This year, however, I got a small glimpse into what Christmas will be like when I’m in the nursing home.
My wife and I have been empty-nesters for awhile now. My son and his wife live in Texas, and my stepdaughter and her husband live in Indiana. They both are trying to keep multiple sets of parents happy by spending 80% of their holidays in the car driving from obligation to obligation. This year it worked out so that neither of our kids could be here for Christmas day. I’m not upset with them…my son drove 10 hours out of his way to come and see me a few days prior to Christmas, and my Step Daughter and her husband will be here the day after tomorrow. They’ve certainly gone above and beyond, but it was sad that neither of them could be here on Christmas Day.
<cue sappy violin music>
I was an only child, and my parents have both been gone for 20 years. I don’t have any aunts, uncles, or grandparents left either. I have some cousins that are scattered around the country, but my immediate family is all gone. Therefore we don’t have to worry about going to see my relatives for the holidays…they have all wandered into the street naked for the last time. My wife has a mother and two sisters here in town, but they were all busy with their families on Christmas day and we were not invited to their festivities, so…we spent Christmas by ourselves.
My wife and I had made an agreement not to exchange gifts this year, so we slept late on Christmas morning, went to go see the new Bond movie, ate dinner at TGIF Friday’s, and came home and watched “The Aristocrats” – a documentary about the world’s filthiest joke. It was a very nice day, but not what you think of particularly when you think of Christmas.
So, I can see it now. Twenty five years from now, my wife and I will be spending our Christmases emptying each other’s bed pans at the nursing home while our children sit around and bitch and moan about the fact that their kids can’t come see them at Christmas.
Christmas was not a total loss though. For old time’s sake, I got plastered and wandered into the street naked at 3:00 a.m.
I hope you’re having a great Christmas wherever you are Uncle Fred.
Comments (23)
That is great that the two of you got to spend the entire day together. Sometimes NOT having 40,000,000 relatives around can be a blessing! lol Take care!
Thanks for the after Christmas laugh! I knew I could count on you! (I still have a housefull of relatives, but we are having some fun.) Your Christmas sounded like fun to me. Especially the you naked and plasatered part.
PS…I’m just glad you don’t live on my street!
I’m glad you could keep Uncle Fred’s tradition alive!
I can relate to the kids and the 80 % of their time driving. When I first moved here, we tried to spend Christmas Eve with my Mom, we left immediately after and drove straight through to Ohio to be at his Mom’s by 6 pm on Christmas Day. That lasted exactly once. It like to have killed both of us. Now, we have to alternate the holidays.
Hope your Christmas was just great! I’m curious about The Aristocrats, but I’ve never brought it home. Did you like?
Naked street walking good times. I won’t even ask why your wifes family did not include you in their plans, but it sounds rude.
The new Bond movie was pretty good, don’t you think?
Sobering to think of all your immediate family (with the notable exception of your son) being gone. Nothing like good ol’ Christmas to remind us of such things.
Sounds a lot like the Christmas me and Mark had, we woke up, had an easy breakfast and spent the day alone being lazy and then watched a movie and went to bed, it was simple and peaceful. I liked it.
I love to go to the movies on Christmas!
You make me smile through my tears.
someday there will be grandbabies. then you wait. you’ll be spending 80% of your holiday on the road
1927 miles
28 hours in the car
7 days.
40 hours with Dad = priceless.
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It was really odd this year. I’ve never spent a Christmas morning away from at least one of my parents. Believe me, it was a new day for all of us. I missed you, but the lessons about family were with me as a 7 year old bounded into the room to tell us it was “TIME TO FIND OUT WHAT SANTIE BROUGHT RIGHT NOW!!!”
Merry Christmas, Dad. As soon as my phone recovers, I’ll give you a call.
You really should try fried turkey. The taste makes up for the calorie overload, but since you probably won’t be routinely frying them, it’s not bad! I saw your comment on fratmom’s site, lol.
Sorry your kids couldn’t be with you this year. I hope your foreshadowings of Christmases future don’t turn out to be so grim! As for me, I should have STAYED in the nursing home on Christmas, instead of dragging my mom out.
The good news about Christmas is that it’s over until next year!
Kathi
RYC: yeah I know I think I am the only one of my friends to keep my resolutions!!!!
LOL Thanks for stopping by Mark… I had an uncle like yours too… We couldn’t let him wander long though because he would have gotten frost bite in very naughty places and none of us wanted to deal with that. lol Your Christmas actually sounds nice to me. lol
Come back by anytime. Ang
Look on the bright side…you won’t actually have to empty each other’s bed pans…they pay people to do that for you.
RYC- I’m not a communist, I’m a Christian Democrat! There are only two of us, you know….
Well, our whole family wasn’t here for Christmas day, but the day after–just in time to pass around a Norwalk-like virus which sent all of us scrambling for the first available porcelain throne. At least you got to go out and watch a movie. . .
Yep, now I remember WHY we spent Christmas in Maui two years ago, and plan to do just that next year….We had my entire family here this year (18 people total), I specifically requested that they not buy gifts for us or our children and to donate to worthy causes instead….NOPE, they all bought my kids expensive gifts!….the point I was trying to get across was that just getting together and spending a few hours together at Christmas should be gift enough for all of us given how busy we all are…but NOOOOOOO.
As for the spouse’s family not including you…YEP, know how that feels as well, Mike’s family has excluded us from ALL holidays for the last 3 years, this past Christmas we didn’t even get phone calls!….so, Maui it is for next year!
Mark, you and your wife had a stress-free Christmas. That happens rarely, so enjoy it.
Oh, you get plastered first? I should try it that way sometime.
Now if you can only capture that on YouTube…