October 25, 2006
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THE BIG GRAY ELEPHANT AND THE HOMOGENIZATION OF AMERICA
I actually heard the following car advertisement on the radio here in Tulsa this morning: “Come to Nelson Nissan-Mazda. We have the new retractable hard top Miata. This is a truly unique, one-of-a-kind automobile, and we have hundreds to choose from!”
I laughed so hard my diet Mountain Dew came out of my nose.
I think the copy writer is on to something, though. The more things attempt to be unique the more they seem the same. This is especially true when it comes to major cities across the U.S…they are all identical.
I know of what I speak. Here is the short list of cities I have visited on business over the last few years:
Oklahoma City, Dallas, Austin, Houston, Little Rock, Memphis, Nashville, Louisville, Birmingham, Atlanta, Indianapolis, Cleveland, Milwaukee, Chicago, New York, Baltimore, Washington D.C., Greenville, Charlotte, Orlando, Miami, Denver, Phoenix, San Diego, San Francisco, Buffalo, Portland, Des Moines, Los Angeles, Albuquerque, Amarillo, St. Louis, Springfield, Philadelphia, Lincoln, Cincinnati, New Orleans, and Salt Lake City….every single one of them is EXACTLY the same.
If you happen to live in one of those cities I can hear you screaming; “MY CITY is unique. MY CITY is different.” No it’s not…at least it doesn’t appear that way from the drivers seat of my rental car.
The carpet may be a different color in your airport, but when I get off the plane I pick up a copy of Newsweek at the Hudson News Stand, a cup of coffee at the Starbucks, and walk down to talk to the bleary-eyed lady that’s at every Thrifty rental car counter. She rents me the same damn white Dodge Stratus that I swear to God they move from city to city just ahead of me so I get it every time. I pull out of the rental car lot and drive past the big box shopping center with a Super Walmart/Lowes/AMC Theater on my way to check in at the Best Western/Holiday Inn/Red Roof/Radisson/Ramada/Comfort Inn motel. After I check in I go to my meeting and then go out to eat at the nearest Denny’s/Outback/Applebee’s/Chili’s/Red Lobster restaurant. When I get back to the motel, I pull the hideous flowered bedspread off the bed, the little white paper cap off the drinking glass, and the “sanitized for your protection” paper strip off the toilet, before taking a piss and scratching my lily white ass on the way over to turn on the TV with the cigarette burns on the top and plump the flimsy pillows on the too-hard bed in a vain attempt to get comfortable while I watch the coifed-clones on the local news engage in witty banter while they put on their frowny faces to talk about the latest city councilman to be indicted.
Yep…every single one of them…exactly the same.
But I also know that’s not really true. Sure, they all look the same on the surface, but I also know that if I’m in Memphis I can drive down to Beale Street and hear the blues played the way it was meant to be played or go watch the ducks ride the elevator at the Peabody. When I’m in Louisville I know I can wait until it gets dark and drive back over the Ohio River from the Indiana side and have my breath taken away by how gorgeous the downtown lights look reflected on the water. I know that when I’m in Philadelphia I can go take a walk down Museum row and that no matter how many times I go I’ll never see everything there is to see. And I also know that when I visit New Orleans I can go down to the French Quarter, have a beignet at the Café Du Monde, some chicory coffee, and picture the scene from “Runaway Jury” with Dustin Hoffman that was filmed there.
The differences are there, you just have to be able to appreciate them.
So, what’s my point? I’m not really sure since this set-up has taken so long, but I think I was going to say that I’ve been thinking about the partisan divide in America with the mid-term elections upon us, and I think the major problem with the GOP is that they want America to look like it does through the windshield of my rental car. They want America to be a white bread, middle class, Christian nation that practices family values, speaks English, and sees the world completely in black and white. This is because diversity is messy; it’s uncomfortable at times, and it makes you think too much. Homogenization is where it’s at.
But a homogenized America is really boring, and really unrealistic. Of course, the major problem with us Democrats is that we are such a diverse group that we can’t build a coherent platform to save our little commie-pinko asses.
Regardless, I prefer the way America looks when I get OUT of my rental car.
Comments (26)
I think you have hit the nail on the head.
Since I hate talking politics here, allow me to say:
The shame is when people live in, or near, one of those cities and don’t take advantage of all it has to offer. One really needs to be a tourist (and not a drive-by) in one’s own city to fully appreciate it.
ps. How didja get the Mountain Dew stains out of your shirt?
Your comment box is really behaving strangely, so if you get two similar comments from me, you’ll know why.
From your description, I’d say it sounds like we have The Stepford States instead of The United States! LOL
Kathi
I live in Canada……not quite US yet….I didn’t even realize there was an election….The US once upon a time was based on the individual and freedom for differences..I don’t know how that went away…
i love this post.
well said.
This entry makes me sad. You’re right, but I’m not sure that this is a terribly political issue. I think even the staunchest of Democrats are more comfortable in a Chilis than they are at a Kitok’s Oriental Burger Shack.
We’re so damn scared of branching out that we end up with bad coffee, flash-frozen meals, and Dodge Stratuses (strati?) without a decent conversation or a decent meal.
People, not cities, make the difference. You can find a community “unlike any other” in Tulsa or Turley, OK if people will just take the time to get to know one another. I had a wonderful experience with Al Saddiq (president of the Waco mosque) during the annual Eid al-Fitr celebration. I feel like I couldn’t have gotten that anywhere else in the world, but that’s not true. There are people in every community who are worth getting to know. We just have to take the time to invite them in to our sterile little rental cars.
I know, I sound like such a young and ignorant idealist. I just don’t know how else to live. I don’t ever want to know, either.
When I cross from Indiana into Kentucky, I’m so busy dodging the cars that are condensing from three highways and six lanes down to two… ON the bridge, that I’ve never noticed any scenery. When I stop to look next summer, and cause a twenty five car pile up… I’m blaming you.
Yanno… the part that really ticks me off in this Ozzie and Harriet white bread fantasy that’s being foist upon us, is that the Republicans really don’t believe in it either. They just use it to blow smoke up our asses at campaign time. Did Ozzie send dirty IM’s to the neighborhood boys ? I don’t think so.
Did Ward Cleaver funnel bribes through his wife June as a paid “consultant” ? Hardly.
And WHY have you not visited my fair city? It’s different here.
P.S. I stared at “chickaree” for some time before I figured out you meant “chicory.”
I really enjoyed reading this post. I’ve experienced the same travelling situations as I’m sure any repeated traveler has. Large cities are virtually the same in how they are laid out and what happens there. Certainly, there are little nuances that make some unique than others. I was in San Francisco last week and the architecture still makes me gasp in awe. Yet, it still has all the trappings of a large city.
The whole diversity thing makes me scratch my head. When we blend everyone into a homogenous mix, all the minorities jump up and want to have their own styles, language and culture. If we put them off to the side with all those things, they want to be back with the majority again. I am not sure how that is supposed to work.
I think at the core, this country is so diverse because we are from so many different places, that we cannot ever expect to be homogenous. Countries that have thousands of years of history with the same religion, culture, and look may have it easier than a melting pot such as ours.
Politics make me crazy because its so much smoke and mirrors. Who is telling the truth? Which party will really do the most to help the most people? Each party seems to have their own agenda that leaves out 50% of the country so maybe its good that it shifts from one election to the next.
Great post! I don’t travel as much as you do, and I feel the same way.
And, hey, thanks for insulting my city! Teehee! I wouldn’t want to get left out. Oh…and I’d really liked to have seen the Mountain Dew shoot out of your nostrils!
I agree. I’ll have been on the road about 148 days this year for the company, and even the small towns are becoming much the same. It also surprises me how little of my own hometown I visit when I’m home, how much I live by the suburbanization when I have the safety of knowing it’s my own bed I’ll be sleeping in tonight.
It’s sad that you’re right. I tried to think of something unique about my town and the only truly unique things are the people. Sure they’re the Bible toting, Southern Baptist, hate gays and minorities, in your face, we’re right you’re wrong, smack dab in the middle of the bible crazies, but that’s what makes our town unique. So what if Dayton is known as monkey town because we had a teacher arrested for teaching Darwin’s Theory and held the Scope’s Trial here…so what if we made national news a couple years ago when our commissioners tried to ban homosexuals from living in our town. We’re the epitome of the south. Wow I hope Tennessee’s board of tourism sees this to use in their next tourist ad!
RYC: I think offering to kill one of my coworkers may violate Xanga Terms of Use…I would never consider murder…uh hmm…but just in case could you send the numbers of the people you know?
You are a great writer!
I’ve said the same thing so many times: They all look alike. Please don’t tell me you were near KC and I didn’t know:(
diet Mountan Dew is a one-point man card deduction. Admitting to it freely is another.
The varied experiences brought with diversity can be wonderful and valuable. But it can be a two-edged sword. Iraq, for instance, is very diverse. So was the old Yugoslavia. The trick is to be diverse without losing cohesion.
Houston is different– we are the fattest city!
This almost feels like the opening minutes of Fight Club. Your not about to start blowing up credit card companies are you?
I thought Democrats were completely behind homogenization.
Oh come on. Tell me you didn’t see that coming.
Well said…..and black and white is indeed boring, the many shades of gray are so much more interesting…..I can’t bring myself to vote all Demorcat just because it isn’t Republican, I find that I need to really believe in the person running regardless of the party they represent….which is why I prefer to think of myself as a Libretarian.
good to own children.
i’ll take your word for it.
no indication that it will ever happen in my near future, so in the meantime, i need to find that fulfilment in Other People’s Children. not quite as satisfying…but on theother hand, it is doesn’t cramp my single-girl style too much…. (;
I notice you didn’t mention anything special about Amarillo…I’m hurt! One thing for sure, I may be the only person in my fair city voting a straight Democratic ticket! Thanks for the interesting viewpoint as always…well said.
A very interesting post. Glad I stopped by!
I often regret the homogenization of America. Once it was not so. Road trips led to motor courts and restaurants you’d never heard of before. And people in different regions spoke very different dialects. Nowadays it’s just boring. I’d rather take my chances in a White Sands Motor Court anyday than submit to the monotonous sameness of the Hampton Inn. Except for the fact that the White Sands Motor Court is a sleazy dive that charges $20 per night, hourly rates on request. Sigh. Wake me when the middle class is over.
ryc(s): I have learned to never have a beverage in hand (or mouth) when reading your comments. I don’t have to clean the keyboard nearly as often this way.
Trick or Treat!!!
Happy Halloween from your Zany “ghoulfriend”!!!!