August 14, 2006
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I DO MOST OF MY READING IN THE BATHROOM
I’ve been tagged to respond to a quiz regarding my reading habits. There are two things that people lie about more than anything else; how much sex they are getting and what they read. The reason they lie about these topics is that they call into question our prowess; both sexual and intellectual. And prowess is an area where folks are inclined to stretch the truth a little.
But I’m going to tell you the truth; not about my sexual prowess, of course (I hear a huge sigh of relief all across
I have none…
At least not when it comes to my reading habits. I went to college and grad school at liberal arts institutions so I’ve read everything I’m supposed to read. While I firmly believe that great literature is the backbone of any decent education, a lot of what we read in college is questionable at best. I read Thomas Pynchon’s “The Crying of
The truth is that now that I’m away from the world of academia I read crap; pure unadulterated crap. And I apologize to no one for it. I do read voraciously, but I do most of my reading on airplanes. I would like to pretend that I read a lot of Dostoevsky when I’m flying between Chicago and Baltimore, but the truth is that he’s kind of wordy and Home Land Security won’t let me take him on the plane because his books could be used as a weapon.
So what do I read? Whatever is in the paperback bin at the airport gift shop. I may not be an expert on the writings of Thoreau but I can give you the plot lines to most any James Patterson, Terry Goodkind, Dean Koontz, Robin Cook, Ken Follet, Clive Cussler, Tom Wolfe, John Grisham, or Michael Crichton novel. I even occasionally pick up a People Magazine to supplement my reading material…there, I said it. I’m a pulp fiction whore.
So, the list below won’t impress anyone other than the editors at Doubleday and Random House who see me as their target demographic.
1. One book that changed your life: “How to Be a Christian without Being Religious” by Fritz Ridenour
2. One book that you’ve read more than once: “Dave Barry Slept Here: a Sort of History of the
3. One book you’d want on a desert island: “
4. One book that made you laugh: “
5. One book that made you cry: “The Bridges of Madison County” by Robert James Waller. Yes, I read it. And I’m confident enough in my manhood to read a book like this, so just get over it.
6. One book that you wish had been written: “Women; the Owner’s Manual”
7. One book that you wish had never been written: “The Da Vinci Code” by Dan Brown. Is anyone else as sick of hearing about this book as I am?
8. One book you’re currently reading: “The Husband” by Dean Koontz
9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: “My Life” by Bill Clinton. I’m sure that someday, Dubya will write his memoirs. I would say that I’m going to read it, but even though I read crap, I do have some standards.
I haven’t played tag since grade school, so if you want to admit to us what you really read, then…tag – you’re it.
Comments (27)
W will not write any memoirs. He can’t remember anything because the coke burnt holes in his brain.
Bill’s book was mostly good but his editor should be whipped for not cutting it down by about 300 pages. I can honestly say I barely skimmed the lengthy exposition on Bosnia.
Good for you! Nice mix. If you really liked “Bridges,” you should read Nicholas Sparks’ “The Wedding.” It actually felt real….and it’s a sequel to “The Notebook,” which made every woman in the world want to be loved like that.
I may do this on my site, ’cause I’m a voracious reader and I am always reading a mix of fact and fiction….I check out about 20 books a week from the library.
Goodkind is far from crap.
I enjoyed reading The DaVinci Code, but the hype around it about drove me nuts too.
I’m enjoying these lists, so as soon as I’m not busy cleaning up after the cats I’ll consider myself tagged. As a tease, mine will include Desert Solitaire by Edward Abbey.
People forget The DaVinci Code is fiction. I know there are a lot of gullible people in the world, but come on!!! As for W’s memoirs, living through 8 years of his administration is hell enough. I don’t want to read about it after it’s finally over.
Hooboy, do I agree with you about James Joyce. (Don’t look at me, I’d take him as far as the dumpster.) I’ve tried and retried to read his blathering and what I’ve found is, they just don’t make good drugs like they used to…..
You’re obviously already intellectual, and of even higher importance, you make me laugh!
While I may not be an editor at Doubleday or Random House, whom you’d like to impress, I am, nonetheless, impressed. Because you read. I’m finding it’s becoming a lost art. Our culture seems to reflect that in a generation that can’t spell or articulate beyond monosylables. Reading should not only be for educational purposes, but for enjoyment. So, Read On! you pulp fiction whore.
xoxoxo
p.s. W’s memoirs? I’m sure it would be full of self-defecating humor, and not everybody would reprehend what he was saying, like “Is our children learning?”
You and Bad dogma are very similar, it must be a guy thing, but I think the xanga guys are the best, and good for you for being honest.
well, the grown up and responsible thing won out… yep it sure sucks sometimes
What, you don’t have a copy of Women: The Owner’s Manual? You can order it from Amazon.
LOL too funny – I have a collection of John Grisham stuff and an ex who saw it just went like “Thank God you didn’t take law”.
Every woman has an owner’s manual. Unfortunately, they keep it right next to their g-spots, so good luck finding it.
Now WHY on Earth would you want a Victorias Secret catalog if you were stranded on a deserted island??? lol….thanks for the smile you put on my face tonight.
Most overrated author ever ? Ernest Hemingway. Blech !!
I adore Clive Cussler. Reading his books is like watching a Hitchcock film – waiting to see where he makes his appearance. Yes, I’m easily amused. What of it ?
Re Dubya and books: ”A fire was reported at the Presidential Library yesterday; reports are that Bush is very upset. Both books were a total loss, and he was almost done coloring the second one.”
Jon Stewart! Ahhh yes.
I agree with your opinion on The Da Vinci Code. Shut up already.
I read a whole lot of chick lit…and basically everything else I can get my hands on. To be honest…I’ve been broke for the past couple weeks and reading books I bought for my 7th & 8th grade required reading. A new low even for me.
IMHO, the best book ever written is Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt. The best version is the audio version because of his lilting Limrick accent. At first I thought you had to have a miserable Irish Catholic childhood to appreciate this book, but when I found out it was #1 on the NY times bestseller list for two years, I knew people besides miserable Irish Catholics like myself were reading this. If I have had a bad day, I just listen to his voice and it calms me down. I even named my cat, Frankie Francis Frank, after him.
Dostoevsky as a weapon. Excellent. But, hey, I actually love his books.
And I will readily admit to being a Dave Barry, John Grisham, and Tom Wolfe fan.
The only thing I remember from Crying of Lot 49 was the strip / betting contest in the hotel room. She dressed up in forty layers of clothes . . . Yes, that’s an odd one.
1. on your list….good book! And ditto…I wish that more Christians read this book, as well as non-Christians that are apalled by some “Christian” who are all high-n-mighty. They’re the ones that make me feel guilty if I were to say something like “damn it” or “oh hell” in my blog. Damn Hellions, anyway.
7. on your list….YES…I’m sick of hearing about the book and the movie.
ha, great list. great comment about dumya, too
I really enjoy your posts–I was an English major at a private liberal arts school and had to read a lot of stuff I didn’t “get.” James Joyce. Portrait of the Artist. sheesh. Get me another beer, will ya.
loved your #3 & #5 answers!
I read pretty much what you read, with Grishim being my favorite…but I like Patterson, and just about any legal or psychic drama…and like you, I just don’t “get” James Joyce…my son Doug tried to get me on board with Jack Keroak (sp), but honestly, I just saw him as a completely irresponsible “hippie before his time”, and had a hard time understanding why Doug was so enamoured of him….now he is trying to tell me that David Sedaris is very much worth my time….I did read “I speak pretty one day”, and must admit that I laughed through most of it, but again, I still don’t undesrtand the facination with him, and do not feel that even on a good day his work can be compared to Toni Morrison, or Angelou, or Poe, or even Dickens…but OK, I will step off my soap box now.
RYC: You guessed that so quickly, I’m willing to bet you’ve posed for a few “pool boy” pics, yourself!
Kathi
I think John Stewart is so funny. I love to hear him talk. I too grab the books from the airport reading bin. I’ll post my readings tomorrow.
That was great and thanks for sharing.
Ohmigosh….I could have correctly guessed your choice for the desert island…LOL
You should join my Bathroom Readers blogring. Members receive huge discounts at national retailers, and a plastic keychain…J/k.