April 21, 2006

• EDIT:  In the post below I said that if I was wrong, I would admit it.

  
  

   

  
  

  I’m admitting it.

  
  

   

  
  

  (My wife should probably mark this day in her calendar)

  
  

   

  
  

  After several thoughtful responses, emails, and being pointed to online research documenting horrific cases of cyber-stalking and cyber-bullying, I’m changing my stance on this issue.

  
  

   

  
  

  From what I’m reading, cyber-bullying (especially among teens) has become a frightening phenomenon.  It seems that whispering being each other’s backs between classes is small potatoes if you have the World Wide Web to post your acidic comments on. I read of numerous instances of teens committing suicide after their peers had posted inflammatory messages or, in some cases, pictures of them in compromising situations.

  
  

   

  
  

  Apparently the problem doesn’t stop there. There are literally thousands upon thousands of middle aged perverts out there cruising sites like Xanga, My Space, Fotki, and Buddy Pic, looking for prey. I was certainly aware this was happening, but I didn’t realize on what scale. There are literally hundreds of reported cases of horrible things happening to people after being stalked or preyed upon online on almost a daily basis.

  
  

   

  
  

  I now suggest that everyone block your sites, build a moat around your computer, and cover it with a giant cyber-condom,  because there are all sorts of wackos out there waiting to do you harm.

  
  

   

  
  

  On a related note, I put a counter on my site when I began posting, but I used it only to see how many people had stopped by. I had never really played with it. I spent about an hour this morning looking at all the features. I didn’t realize that it tracked IP addresses and gave me a full map of the world with little dots pointing out the geographical locations of those who have visited my site. It also gives me the birth date, address, and social security number of every visitor. Ok, I’m kidding about those last three, but it does give an amazing amount of information, and I found it fascinating to see where everyone was from. I have a feeling I’m going to become obsessed with these features now that I know I have them.

  
  

   

  
  

  So… I extend my sincere apologies to anyone who has their site blocked or who is using tracking software. Block and track away!

  
  

  
  

  XANGA STALKERS!!!  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  I need someone to explain something to me. I’m noticing more and more Xanga sites that are blocking everyone who is not signed in. Apparently these individuals wish to be able to track every person who visits their site. Many of these folks mention that they want to ward off “stalkers,” and they define “stalker” as anyone who visits the site and does not leave a comment.

  
  

   

  
  

  Are these people nuts?

  
  

   

  
  

  I would define “stalker” as anyone who is like that psycho chic I dumped in college who continually painted broken hearts in red fingernail polish on my car for the next three years.

  
  

   

  
  

  A person who reads your post and does not leave a comment is not a stalker. They are a surfer. A person who leaves dead cats on your lawn is a stalker.

  
  

   

  
  

  I surf from Xanga site to Xanga site if something catches my fancy, but I don’t always leave comments. If I don’t leave a comment, it’s probably because I’m busy, or it might be because you spent four pages detailing your grocery shopping list and you bored the hell out of me. This does not make me a stalker.

  
  

   

  
  

  According to the little counter at the bottom of my site, I’ve had 18,674 visitors since I began posting just over a year ago. I’m very grateful to the people who take the time to stop by, and I’m even more grateful to those who are kind enough to take the time to leave a thoughtful comment. But I thank God that all 18,674 people who have visited this site have not left comments.

  
  

   

  
  

  Why would I feel that way? Have you read the comments on The Theologian’s Café site? The first 20 comments on each post are people who are patting their backs because they were one of the first 20 to comment! This is not exciting reading!

  
  

   

  
  

  If I’m not mistaken, the internet is a public forum. If you must know who every person is who reads your posts I suggest getting a diary so that you can be certain that only your parents, spouses, or significant others are breaking into it to read your innermost thoughts.

  
  

   

  
  

  I understand that from time to time you may want to limit your audience to a select few and that “protecting” a post is appropriate, but if you must know the identity of every individual who visits your site, perhaps you need some heavy couch time to work on those control issues.

  
  

   

  
  

  I’m grateful for my Xanga experiences, because I’ve “met” some of the brightest, wittiest, and most talented people I could ever hope to meet; folks I would have never met in “real life.”  Even though I’ve enjoyed getting to know so many of you, I just don’t feel the need to know who everyone is who stops by.

  
  

   

  
  

  Perhaps I do not understand the situation. Perhaps these people have motivations that I’m not picking up on. I’ll be the first to admit when I’m wrong about something. If you are a person who blocks “stalkers” I’d love to hear why. However, if you read this and don’t feel like leaving a comment, I don’t mind at all.

  
  

   

  
  

  But you might want to watch and see if I’m hiding in the bushes outside your house for awhile.

  
  

  • 6:01 pm
  • 26 Comments