March 23, 2006
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SLUTTY TEENAGE VIXENS
Now that I have your attention…
Well, actually I AM going to write about slutty teenage vixens.
I’m currently sitting in the
The teenage girl could easily play the bitchy prom queen in any John Hughes movie, and her mother appears desperate to be mistaken for the girl’s sister rather than her mom.
They are attracting a great deal of attention, and as I sit and observe them over the screen of my laptop, I’m wondering four things:
First, I can tell by the way the daughter flips her perfect blond hair, and observes everyone around her with a look of repulsion (like she just looked under the rim of a gas station toilet) that she is one of those girls that would not even acknowledge my existence were I her contemporary in high school. What I’m wondering is why this pisses me off even though I graduated from High School 30 years ago.
I’m also wondering why, when it’s 22 degree outside, the daughter is dressed the way she is.
She is wearing a pair of hip-hugger jeans cut so low that a fraction of an inch more would probably reveal whether she is a natural blond or not. She is also wearing a dangerously low cut; skin-tight tank top that prominently displays an unnaturally copious endowment that probably makes all her girl friends jealous. She looks like she should be wearing a name tag that says: “Hi, my name is Tiffany and I’d like to introduce you to my breasts!”
Thirdly, I’m curious why the mother feels the need to compete with her daughter in the “I can dress younger/sluttier than you” category. Mom is sporting spiked brunette hair with bright blond tips and jeans that surely required industrial lubricant to slide into. She topped off her “ensemble” with a Hollister T-shirt even tighter than her daughter’s tank top, and a pair of pink high heels a stripper would kill for (not that I have any direct knowledge about whether strippers wear high heels).
Finally, the thing I’m most curious about is their reactions to the men ogling them.
Several guys have walked by with their eyes locked firmly on the daughter’s chest. The girl has rolled her eyes numerous times at this behavior and the mother has become visably upset at these men and shot them a “get your fucking eyes off my little girl” look. (Guys can be so frigging obvious. At least I’m discrete enough to pretend I’m typing).
Ladies, help me out here. Surely these women must know they are going to get this reaction if they dress this way. One would assume that getting that kind of reaction is the point.
I know this is an age old question, but does the mother have the right to be annoyed at the men starring at her daughter? After all, she let her out of the house dressed that way.
On the other hand, do men have the right to stare just because a woman is dressed provocatively?
In reality, middle aged men starring at a 16 year old girl’s chest is downright creepy behavior. But, should women/girls be able to dress in any fashion they wish and still expect every man they encounter to behave with the decorum of a eunuch?
I’d like to know what you think.
Comments (41)
Women dress like that to get looks.. hands down. I don’t care what they claim or say.. women that compete with their daughters are insecure and need something to fill that gap.. sad but true..
this is why our teens act the way they do today.. it’s just sad!
have a wunnerful night!
I agree… woman dress like that for the attention… period. I have a 16-year-old daughter and am thankful that she is very modest and never dresses like that. I, as a 41 year old mother, would NEVER think of dressing like that. Even if I did have the body to do so, I’m not out to impress a neanderthal… I’d rather strike up a conversation with someone and impress them with my intelligence, and vice versa. I am amazed at how teenagers dress today, but the parents are just as much to blame as the kids… if not more so.
Well, haha, one of the many advantages of being 15 is, I can stare as much as I like without getting the “Stop looking creepy old guy” look.
I do think though, that if you dress provacatively, you do deserve the looks you get. It’s like going to a gay bar wearing a “Fuck the gays” shirt and wondering why people hate you.
Hey, if you’re gonna advertise, you should expect customers. That said, men should be able to size up the situation–and the merchandise–without dragging their tongues on the floor.
Well I will tell you that girls really dress for other girls, not guys… they do to it to OUT DRESS each other and be hotter or slutter if you will than each other; so yes, I do think they could be surprised and offended… yea sorry Mark but that’s truly what I think …
that being said; someone (not you of course) needs to tell them how ridiculous they look …maybe tape them and play it back
For me, it depended on who was doing the looking and the manner in which they looked. People who yelled at me while driving by or made lewd hand gestures = a middle finger and some choice verbage. People looking me up and down and smiling, nodding, making eye contact = pleasant ego stroking. Creepy guy wearing black Megadeth tshirt with sleeves cut off following me around and drooling = get away from me now or I’ll kill you. And any unsolicited touching = the unleashing of the vicious harpy within.
I’ve heard also that females dress to impress other females. Something must be wrong with me since the slutty clothes are failing to impress me. Maybe I’m just too old and should be placed on an ice floe and allowed to drift away.
They both know exactly what they are doing. It is sad that the daughter is learning such values from her mother. ….now, keep your eyes on the computer… lol…
High maintenance women… looking for rich sugar daddies… She’s learning early from mom.
This may sound convoluted but, they want to be attractive to men because that makes them feel good about themselves, but they don’t actually want anything to do with those men. Unless it’s the captain of the football team or someone equally cool, i.e., not you. No offense.
There’s a big difference between slutty and sexy. A woman can dress to show that she is confident with her body without looking like she belongs on a street corner. If she chooses to dress like a hooker, then she should expect to be treated like a hooker. It goes back to the whole you have to respect yourself before you can expect others to respect you.
This is a two pronged answer. In a Christ-centered context,no, women should not dress in a way to provoke a brother to sin.
In the depraved world, are we surprised? Is it right? No, but the world’s depraved, remember?
I do agree with BabyGrRae about being confident with her body, respectful to herself and others. And also that you get what you ask for.
I lived in a country for two years where I had to wear national dress–keeping my ankles covered with balooning pants, a dress with a slit that came to the knees, and then a large scarf over my chest to conform to their definition of modesty. Coming back to America has been an interesting transition, to say the least! I could write a book, but I’ll leave it at this! Good night!
I guarantee that the mother and daughter would be considerably MORE upset if they were not oogled than they are when they get the attention. The problem with American/Western culture is that it would bother them, but they wouldn’t express that frustration openly. They’d express it by being more slutty and outgoing, engaging in more risky behavior, until they were noticed (like using those heels for their real purpose…I’m told).
It’s natural for men to pursue 16 year olds who are showing of traditional, genetically encoded mating cues. Big boobs, low hips, young, blonde, confident….all those things say “good mating partner” to our genetic code. So don’t feel like a lecherous old man, you can’t deny your genes.
The mother probably feels competitive (I’d guess there’s problems at home), and wants to try to co-opt her daughter’s behavior instead of competing (locking her away like she should.
). It’s not a very good idea though, because for the next 20 years, the daughter will win.
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Wow, you can tell that I’ve been working on an evolutionary psychology manuscript, no? Appologies. And to address your question as to why it still annoys you: Because you know now, just like you did then, that you could run circles around everything that girl could ever do in her life in the next 10 minutes…yet she thinks she’s better than everything else. Just look at the things she turns in to (directly to her left) and snicker knowingly.
What, no pictures?
I’ve no doubt that the above answers pretty much cover it. From the male side, I suspect some women forget or never knew that most men don’t purposely stare. That happens automatically. Assuming we catch ourselves staring, the conscious effort needed to pull our eyes away sometimes takes a moment or three to kick in…
Let’s just face it….the women want the looks….they play the role of being annoyed to get even more attention. I agree that they would be upset if nobody noticed.
Sounds to me like dear ol mom is trying hard to hang on to her youth.
I was in a bar in Chicago with a gal pal of mine who was wearing a low cut top…LOW. and there was a guy sitting at the bar on the other side of me who was leaning over me to talk to her. (what nerve)…and finally I popped him one and said “get your eyes back in your head and stop gawking at her”….. his reply to me was… “SHE WANTS ME TO LOOK!!!” From then on I realized that is the truth..women do that to get the looks. period.
I think first of all her mom should not of let her out of the house if she looks like a slut. And even though it is wrong for a middle aged man to look at a 16 year old, I don’t think he can help himself. Its just nature. No I am not sticking up for him. I personally wonder sometimes whats the world coming to and I’m only 23. I have a step daughter who is 17 (yes I am married to an older woman and was almost 19 when I first met my husband that I didn’t marry until almost 5 years later) and she wears the lowcut tight shirts and low rise jeans and I just shake my head and think I want the kids I have to have more respect for themselves than that. Its really sad. Have a good night.
Shielena
LOL…your posts just crack me up. First of all….any man over 20 (giving them a little roome here) checking out my teenage daughter is disgusting. Any girl dressed like that….is disgusting. Any mother dressed like that, is pathetic…and disgusting. My daughter dresses very nice because 1) I won’t allow her to dress like a floozy and 2) she don’t WANT to dress like a floozy. If I see an older man checking her out, I yell at him and tell him he’s a pervert. We have enough to worry about in this world without sending your kid out in the world that way. I know a lady who is 50ish and dresses WAY cooler than even my daughter does…..BUT….that doesn’t excuse her wrinkled neck and smokers voice. YUCK!!!
what, you saw the husband’s secretary and daughter at the airport? i had no idea they were traveling. hmmmm.
why girls dress that way: the mom has reinforced the idea that the only way the girl is acceptable is if she is attracting men. why the moms dress that way: it bugs the hell out of them that the daughters are sexy and that they (the moms) are sagging and have hairs growing out of their moles and purple veins bulging on their thighs. if you dress like an idiot, no one notices those other things — much.
Mom was just teaching her baby a lesson in commodity trading.
I can’t help but wonder if rather than a case of the mom competing with the daughter, this was the daughter emulating the mother. We are, after all, a product of our environment. The nut never falls far from the tree, you know.
xoxoxo
I think the mom is wrong for allowing her daughter to dress so provacatively and she shouldn’t be surprised that men are oogling her. I think the mom is trying to hang on to her youth. My daughter has a friend whose mom dresses to ‘compete’ with her daughter in my opinion. I think it’s the mom’s responsibility to talk to her daughter about how she will be percieved when she dresses like that.
That said, I have an almost 18 year old daughter who ‘blossomed’ early. She has a beautiful figure. On one hand I want her to dress very conservatively because I see guys checking her out. On the other hand I think she should be able to wear similar clothes to what her friends are wearing without being singled out. Example: For her 8th grade graduation all the girls wore cute little spaghetti strap sundresses, so we bought one for her too. A teacher approached her and made her put on a sweater because she said what she was wearing was ‘inappropriate’. Another girl had the same exact dress on but she was not made to put a sweater on. Why? Because the other girl was flat chested. I was careful when we bought the dress that it was not too revealing, but she has a figure, for crying out loud. Even in jeans and a t-shirt it is obvious.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it seem obvious that the mother and daughter you encountered were looking for attention. But sometimes it is a hard line to walk when a girl has a figure. It makes them feel bad/different when they can’t wear the cute things their friends are wearing. When they are teens all they want is to be like their friends. If she dresses to hide her figure she is different. If she wears the same stuff her friends wear she is oogled. I have had the conversation about perceptions with her and she is aware of what she wears, but it is a constant stuggle for her.
1. Men will always look. If you don’t like it, demand all baby boys have their eyeballs gouged out at birth.
2. Women dress to compete with other women.
3. Insecure women dress like tarts to get attention from men, hoping that the ones they want will pay some attention and in the end get offended when every Tom, Lee and Hardev ogles and whistles.
4. A woman with a healthy balance of reality and ego will dress up the way she does because she is happy looking that way, knows and is comfortable about men admiring BUT isn’t out to sell herself and radiates confidence, sexiness and sassiness dressed in a gunny sack or in teeny tape-on dress.
5. Mothers who try to “out-slut” their daughters probably don’t realise just how bad Britney Spears looks like these days.
As a former captain of the football team and newly self appointed xanga dictator, let me say that this young lady has no father. I’m not saying that she was an immaculate conception. What I am saying is that Daddy is an irresponsible prick that either
A. spoiled her and let her run all over him.
B. isn’t around.
C. abused her in some way.
My guess is B. Her mom obviously wants the male attention, because we all know how uncomfortable high heeled shoes are. It sounds like good old mom there, shops right along side her daughter trying to buy her love a.k.a compensating for a lack of a male role model. It also sounds like the daughter craves the male attention, but doesn’t want it from old creepy guys just yet.
If the mother was truly upset about the daughter being looked at like that, she wouldn’t allow her to dress that way. The fact that the mother is going through her second adolescence is proof of her own age insecurity and need to be affirmed by male attention. I enjoyed reading everyone else’s comments about this!
Kathi
Heaven help me, I AGREE with fatboy!…there I said it….now I need a good stiff drink!…lol
The poor girl has a Mom that wants to be her freind rather than her Mom, and thus does not “police” her as she should….that being said, I must ask you…Have you ever TRIED to tell a teenage girl that what she is wearing is innapropriate?…well, being the mother of a 15 year old girl, we have that discusssion at least once a week…I am a little more lenient with her than her stepdad Mike is….he would prefer it if she would wear a parka everywhere she goes…but he has to conform himself with staying within 3 feet of Sarah and DARING any person of the male persuation to even LOOK at his little girl when she is wearing something that he does not approve of….I can just hear his favorite saying “Remember, I’ve got a shotgun!”…But I am with you on feeling angry that girls like this dress to be noticed, then act all “upset” at being noticed!…Cover those boobies up young lady, especially if you aren’t advertising anything!
Firstly: great post. I like the way you use your words : )
Secondly, my response to this blog: Among other things, I’d say she doesn’t have a daddy–or he’s not around–or he doesn’t care. Regardless–he’s not present enough in her life to influence that aspect of her behavior.
I also think it’s safe to assume that she and her mother have self-image issues. It’s astonishing the lengths that people will go to in order to be acknowledged by another human being. Because we are born with the need for acceptance, we will go about finding it in whatever way possible…In some cases, baring your body seems to be the only way to do it!
This frustrates me *endlessly* and has never made sense to me…then again, my dad has always been around–and I know that I’m accepted…I know what it’s like to be “admired” by men when I’m fully clothed, you know?
I have similar thoughts constantly, regarding girls/women like this: “Did her mama see her before she walked out of the house this morning?!” or “You’ve got to be KIDDING me. It looks like she had those pants tattooed on her body…!”
Oh, and don’t even get me started on the girls whose bellies hang low and wobble to and fro…lol…that just disgusts me. *sigh* I can say a lot of this stuff because I’m a thick girl–and I still manage to look classy while remaining covered up. It IS possible–and worth the effort! I have to remember, though, that I have been blessed to have had my upbringing…
Anyway, sorry that this comment has turned novel-esque. I enjoy reading you! : ) Have a great weekend…~esther
that disgusts me to see a girl that young dressed like a stripper…if the mother didn’t want to deal with the men oggling her daughters “humps,” then she should have made her wear a jacket or something like that…that is the reason I hope I don’t have a daughter, because eleventeen years from now, who knows what girls will be dressing like?…that is very scary to think about…if a girl dresses like a slut, then men will look…it’s like one of those unwritten rules of life
…I also agree with fatboy5555
it’s a 2 way street. men shouldn’t stare and women shouldn’t dress like that if it bothers them if old men stair. it’s a problem that shall never be fixed!
They don’t really have anything to complain about, but I can understand the mother’s reaction, anyway. It still IS her daughter.
I remember once when I was a teenager, I wore a pretty normal tank top sans bra (I’m small enough not to need one) and we went to the grocery store. We went by the frozen foods section, and I’m sure you know what happened to my nipples. I had no idea that anything was amiss, but noticed that men were suddenly making all kinds of comments and looking at me leeringly. My mother was furious. It wasn’t until she got me out of the store and explained my, uh, situation that I understood what was going on. I was really embarrassed. And, remember, I am small-chested and this was not a revealing tank top. This still got a lot of guys to act like idiots. Do I think it’s right? Absolutely not! Sometimes you aren’t asking for anything but a decent trip to the grocery store.
Lynn
Saw you on featured and thought your post would be interesting since you tried grabbing perverts’ attentions with that witty title.
Anyway..
Not to be all biblical and all.. but the Bible says that it is a sin to look at a woman in lust. So…the men are doing something wrong. But! It is also the daughter’s and the mother’s fault. Mostly the mother…the mother probably had a wild teenage and doesn’t want to let go, therefore she is influencing the daughter to be crazy and dress provocativly, too. OR it’s the daughter’s fault..where she decided she wants to look like Brittany Spears and since the mother didn’t enjoy her teenage years, she follows HER influence.
But that’s just what I think.
yes I am an OBU Alum…2003…
No problem.
And you’re..48?
Well. This is my opinion. I have been “blessed”, if thats what its called. There are times to dress like that and times to not. Im 16, and yes, i do occasionally dress “slutty” like. The only reason i do it, obviously, is to get attention from guys. I feel sometimes its the only way, even though i know its not. And yes, guys that LOOK old, and check me out, creeps me out. BUT if i dress like that, i can only expect it from the male gender. Not to be sexist. And i hate walking around and seeing 30 or 40 year old women dressed like their daughters. Its obvious that they arent young anymore and they need to start buying from the womens section not the juniors. But thats my opinion. I dont know if you agree or not.
-Mandy
The mother of the girl must be single. I think the mother wants to fit in with her daughters frieds and seem like the cool mom or something. This is most likely the mother’s fault for letting her daughter dress the way she is, yet it is the daughter’s fault for convincing her to dress that way.
Hm…I often hear that there are too many women out there who ‘are 40 but dress 20′ like they are trying to be their kids again…..I have pro’s and con’s to that…I am 40, but danged if you are going to catch me dressing ’40′ like my mom did all those years ago….you will never catch me in a pair of polyester slacks….but then again…dressing ’20′ with style and grace is okay….I would never dress as this mom did though…obvious insecurity and need for male approval ….acts as if she hates the ogling…but secretly thriving on it….yes she let her kid go out that way….she should be disgusted at her kid for showing off her body that way…not at the men who will obviously LOOK. And yet…like mother, like daughter ~ it sounds like…very sad.
yeah that’s not right they need to get over themselves and get a life I never do that I hate dress a sometimes I’ll wear a skirt but if I think it’s to shor i’ll never wear it again.
I think fatboy nailed it, too. Honestly, though, the more real life resembles porn, the hotter the long winter dresses and button up sweaters get.
When My daughter and I were at her college orientation, we were at the bookstore in line behind a mother and daughter like you described. The 40-something mother had on this little pink mini skirt that had “Aeropostle” written in an arch across her butt. I looked at Courtney and said, “I’m your mother. I’m not your friend, I’m not your pal, and I will never dress like that.” We are friends, but I think mothers need to find their own identity and allow their children the same.
They love the attention… Obviously the daughter was raised that way. 2 lines I love to use in this situation:
1) Hi, are you two with the mother/daughter stripper convention?
2) I didn’t know Jerry Springer was taping here!
I have better lines for girls like that which I might be interested in, but the way you described them is not the type I like. I’ve dated plenty of attention starved gold diggers to know what I’m playing with. They know they’re going to get that attention from guys! Thier behavior is just a way of saying, “You can’t have this” or “I’m to good for ya”.. If they actually smiled, or did any action to show a guy they like the attention then that just gives the guy “permission” to approach. Defense mechanisms are easy to get through. You just do the opposite of what every other guy does! It’ll catch them off guard and thats when you swoop in for the kill!
ANYONE, mother or daughter, who dresses like a slut should expect to be treated as one…not that its right, but then I think we all know that two wrongs dont make a right…now do they?