Month: March 2006

  • JUST SHOOT ME


     


    I made a reference to gun control and poked some fun at the gun culture here in Oklahoma in my last post.  A person who, apparently, is decidedly passionate about the 2nd amendment left a couple of comments. This is not a person who would have just wandered by my site, so I’m assuming that they arrived by doing a Xanga search on gun control, or perhaps a Xanga search on “pagan, pierced-nose, Volvo-driving, France-loving, left-wing, communist, latte-sucking, tofu-chomping, holistic-wacko, neurotic weenie Democrats;”  either might have brought them to me.


     


    What’s funny is that I probably have more in common with my heavily armed friend that he realizes. I tend to base my political philosophy around personal freedom issues. This is why I am pro-choice, pro-first amendment, pro-gay marriage, and why I get a little miffed when my president wire taps my phone without a warrant. However, a philosophy which venerates personal freedom occasionally puts me at odds with some of my Democratic brethren.


     


    I’m not an expert on gun control issues but the 2nd amendment does protect the right to bear arms, and if you believe in personal freedom you can’t pick and choose which ones you like.


     


    I grew up with an arsenal in my home and while I don’t currently own any guns I don’t have any problems with those that do.  I do think any issue can be taken to silly extremes, however, and I would like to ask a couple of questions and make the following observations:


     



    • Be honest…do you really need your own rocket launcher to hunt deer?
    • If you believe the castle doctrine should be extended outside the walls of your home, would you mind telling me where you live so I can stay the hell away from your city? (I already canceled a vacation to Florida because I’m concerned about roving gangs of 85 year old vigilantes with guns strapped to their walkers).
    • I know that Kurt Russell did a great job of playing Wyatt Earp in Tombstone, but there really are other, more positive, role models out there.
    • Guns don’t kill people, bullets kill people. This is why I agree with the comedian Eddie Izzard who proposes that bullets should be available to everyone, they should just cost $2,000.00 each. More gang members would re-think those drive-by shootings if their ammo cost more than their crack cocaine.
    • A well equipped and well regulated militia is all well and good; I just wish our troops in Iraq were actually well equipped.
    • A “cooling off” period before buying a firearm is simply common sense. I just wish that Microsoft Outlook had a similar feature so that it would hold pissy emails that I’ve composed to unreasonable clients for a few hours until I’ve had time to cool off and reconsider whether I really want to call a customer a “sniveling twit.”
    • I’d just like to point out that if your concept of the effects of violence was formed playing “Commando: Strike Force” on your X-Box; that when you shoot people in real life, they actually bleed. Just ask Harry Whittington.

    Finally, a direct comment to my gun-packing buddy: I noticed you sparred a little with my son in the comments section on my post. Let me assure you that I’m an easy “target” when it comes to debating statistical evidence in the gun control debate because I’ve done very little research on the subject. However, if you want to debate with my son who does quantitative research every day of his life as he finishes his Ph.D, you better have all your shooting gallery ducks in a row.


     


    I’m afraid that if you have a duel of the wits with my son, you’re going to find that you’re fighting unarmed. 


  • WHY OKLAHOMA IS A WEIRD PLACE TO LIVE


     



    • We had six inches of snow the day before yesterday. I mowed my lawn in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt this morning.
    • Oklahoma has only recently begun a state lottery. This is because the incredibly influential Southern Baptist coalition here in the Sooner state successfully campaigned against it as being sinful for many, many years. Yet, on Sundays, when I go to the convenience store close to my home (which sits directly across the street from a Southern Baptist Church) I have to wait in line forever to check out because people in nice clothing coming from the church are in line ahead of me buying lottery tickets.
    • Oklahoma feels very strongly about gun control. If you are driving through our state while on vacation, you will be stopped at the state line and your vehicle will be searched for guns. If you do not have any, you will be issued some.
    • Don’t even think about making condoms available at a high school in Oklahoma, you would be drawn and quartered.  We preach abstinence here, the way God intended. Besides, we are proud of the fact that our teen pregnancy rate is three times the national average. We like to excel in things!
    • On a similar note, we Oklahomans don’t cotton to them homosexuals because they will destroy our families. Oddly, right here in the buckle of the Bible belt, Oklahoma has the second highest divorce rate in the nation at 76% (yes, you read that correctly…76%).
    • While we talk a great deal about religion here in Oklahoma, there is a God who is worshipped here much more fervently that the one prayed too in our churches on Sunday morning. His name is High School and College football and he is all powerful.
    • We believe in protecting our children in Oklahoma which is why we recently passed legislation in the House limiting access to certain books in our libraries and banning violent video games.  Those two issues alone should make a big dent in the 17,000 reported cases of child abuse in the state last year.
    • No one here finds the fact that giant farm machines routinely drive on the expressways odd at all.
    • We believe that religion brings happiness and fulfillment to people. I always found it strange, however, that when I was in the ministry and was getting my health insurance through my state denomination office, when I read the report each year about what percentages of benefits were paid out for what types of claims among ministers in the state, over 60% of claims were for mental health and substance abuse treatment.


    Despite my bitching, Oklahoma is a nice place to live, what with all the waving wheat and the wind that comes sweeping down the plain and all. The cost of living is low since 40% of our residents live below the national poverty level, which means you can pick up a nice used double-wide for next to nothing!


     


    I can’t imagine living anywhere else.


     

    Although I try all the time.

  • SLUTTY TEENAGE VIXENS


     


    Now that I have your attention…


     


    Well, actually I AM going to write about slutty teenage vixens.


     


    I’m currently sitting in the St. Louis airport across from a teenage girl I’m guessing is 16 or 17 years old, and her mother, who appears to be about my age.


     


    The teenage girl could easily play the bitchy prom queen in any John Hughes movie, and her mother appears desperate to be mistaken for the girl’s sister rather than her mom.


     


    They are attracting a great deal of attention, and as I sit and observe them over the screen of my laptop, I’m wondering four things:


     


    First, I can tell by the way the daughter flips her perfect blond hair, and observes everyone around her with a look of repulsion (like she just looked under the rim of a gas station toilet) that she is one of those girls that would not even acknowledge my existence were I her contemporary in high school. What I’m wondering is why this pisses me off even though I graduated from High School 30 years ago.


     


    I’m also wondering why, when it’s 22 degree outside, the daughter is dressed the way she is.


     


    She is wearing a pair of hip-hugger jeans cut so low that a fraction of an inch more would probably reveal whether she is a natural blond or not. She is also wearing a dangerously low cut; skin-tight tank top that prominently displays an unnaturally copious endowment that probably makes all her girl friends jealous. She looks like she should be wearing a name tag that says: “Hi, my name is Tiffany and I’d like to introduce you to my breasts!”


     


    Thirdly, I’m curious why the mother feels the need to compete with her daughter in the “I can dress younger/sluttier than you” category. Mom is sporting spiked brunette hair with bright blond tips and jeans that surely required industrial lubricant to slide into. She topped off her “ensemble” with a Hollister T-shirt even tighter than her daughter’s tank top, and a pair of pink high heels a stripper would kill for (not that I have any direct knowledge about whether strippers wear high heels).


     


    Finally, the thing I’m most curious about is their reactions to the men ogling them.


     


    Several guys have walked by with their eyes locked firmly on the daughter’s chest. The girl has rolled her eyes numerous times at this behavior and the mother has become visably upset at these men and shot them a “get your fucking eyes off my little girl” look. (Guys can be so frigging obvious. At least I’m discrete enough to pretend I’m typing).


     


    Ladies, help me out here. Surely these women must know they are going to get this reaction if they dress this way. One would assume that getting that kind of reaction is the point.


     


    I know this is an age old question, but does the mother have the right to be annoyed at the men starring at her daughter? After all, she let her out of the house dressed that way.


     


    On the other hand, do men have the right to stare just because a woman is dressed provocatively?


     


    In reality, middle aged men starring at a 16 year old girl’s chest is downright creepy behavior. But, should women/girls be able to dress in any fashion they wish and still expect every man they encounter to behave with the decorum of a eunuch?


     


    I’d like to know what you think.

  • THE PERFECT HUSBAND?


     


    I would like to thank all of the very kind people who left comments on my last post suggesting that I might actually be a decent husband.  I’m very appreciative that you would think well of me. I try hard to be a good husband and I would certainly like to aspire to your notion of my husbandly qualifications. Let me state for the record, however…


     


    I’m not always a walk in the park.


     


    Trust me on this. Allow me to provide you with the:


     


    TOP TEN REASONS I WILL NEVER WIN HUSBAND OF THE YEAR


     


    10.       You should see the floor in my closet. Oh, wait a minute…you can’t see the floor in my closet because my dirty clothes never make it into the laundry basket and are piled up to the ceiling. I had been single for a long time before I married my wife and I’m very used to doing my own laundry, which I continue to do.  However, I wait until I literally don’t have a single thing left to wear before I will break down and actually wash all 172 loads of my laundry. This is why I own over 70 pairs of underwear…I can go a LONG time before I have to wash clothes.


     


    9.         I am incapable of putting things back where I found them.  I find it to be a much better use of time to spend two hours searching for a particular screwdriver that would have taken me 30 seconds to put back in the tool box when I was done with it the last time I used it. I have learned, however, not to ask my wife where something is. She is a very organized person and upon being asked where something is that I’ve obviously misplaced, she will give me an icy stare of death that is capable of actually lowering the room temperature by 30 degrees.


     


    8.         I am obsessed with symmetry. If my wife and I are working together on a home project, it must be laid out within tolerances that a diamond cutter would find to be overkill. For example; we recently had three family portraits framed to put over the mantle on our fireplace. When it came time to actually hang the pictures I employed laser levels, a computer capable of calculating Pi to 500 million digits, and GPS satellite technology in order to get the pictures hung perfectly. They have medication for people like me, but I refuse to take it.


     


    7.         I’m deaf but I like to pretend I’m not. I had a swimming accident as a teenager that left me with some nerve deafness in my right ear. I can hear, but if someone is talking to me and there is any background noise, I have a very difficult time understanding what they are saying. To keep from asking my wife to repeat herself every time she says something, I just guess at the words I’m not sure I heard correctly.  This can cause problems, like when I’m standing in the yard, furiously raking leaves because I thought she said “Rake the lawn – go with urgency – zoom!” when she actually said “take my mom to the emergency room!”


     


    6.         I despise talking on the telephone. If I’m in the office, I’m on the phone most of the day. If I’m out of the office, I’m answering my cell phone once every three minutes.  So, in my personal life I hate talking on the telephone like I hate having diarrhea, only worse.  I refuse to answer the phone at home when it rings, and when my lovely wife calls me on my cell, I know she can tell that I’m trying to get off the phone as quickly as possible. She has learned not to take this personally, but I’m sure she would rather I respond to her calls with something other than, “yeah, uh-huh, right, sure, ok” and “whatever.”


     


    5.         I embarrass my wife when we talk to salespeople. Even though I make my living in sales, I hate salespeople. This is especially true of car salesmen and furniture salesmen.  I really try to be a decent, polite, gregarious person but there is something about these scum sucking, gutter dwelling, excuses for humanity that tends to bring out the worst in me. If I am swarmed by salespeople when I walk into a business, or if I detect even the smallest hint of bullshit coming out of a salesperson’s mouth I can be brutally rude. No…you don’t understand. I mean brutally rude on a level that would make the hair on the back of your neck curl up. I’m a bad, bad man.


     


    4.         My wife loves to plan things. In my business, the sales cycle is very long; sometimes several years. Therefore I am usually working at least a year ahead; maybe two, three, or even five; constantly planning and preparing for the next project. This means when I get home I typically only want to think as far ahead as what I’m having for dinner. If I’m really in the mood for forward thinking, I might consider if I’m going to watch the Daily Show at 10:00 or go to bed early.  My wife, however, will spend hours on the internet planning a vacation we aren’t going to take for over a year. When I get pissy about being asked to be involved in this process it robs her of the joy and excitement that planning things brings her. This is a big struggle for me.


     


    3.         Directions?!?!?  I don’t need no stinking directions!


     


    2.         In the A/V systems contracting business things have to happen very quickly. It’s understood in our office that if you wear your feelings on your sleeve you won’t last long in the business. When I’m talking with employees, I’m straight and direct and to the point. We don’t have the time or the luxury to pull any punches.  When I get stressed, I sometimes take this behavior home and talk to my wife like she is one of the employees.  I can’t even begin to describe how poorly this goes over.


     


    1.         Sensitive men talk about their feelings. Some day I hope to meet a man who actually does this.  I’m also hoping to some day meet Bigfoot. I figure the chances are about even. I’m a very empathetic person and I will be glad to sit for hours and listen to you talk about your problems, worries, and concerns. I won’t try to fix them; I’ll just sit and listen. What? You want me to talk about my own problems and worries?…not a snowball’s chance in hell. I find verbalizing things that I’m worried about just stresses me out more. I’m quite happy to keep everything bottled up inside until I have meltdown, thank you very much…just the way God intended men to be.


     


    Ballroom dancing lessons, surprise bookcases, concerts…it’s easy to look like a good husband on the surface. It’s that day to day stuff that is much, much harder.


     


    But I will say…it’s definitely worth it.

  • RANDOM STUFF


     


    My son turned 23 yesterday. When in HELL did I become old enough to have a 23 year old?!?


    ________________________________________________________________


     


    We went to see Michael Buble’ in concert this week. He is an incredible performer and his band is phenomenal. You’re jealous…you know you are.


     



     


    Audio was four hangs of JBL Vertec Line Arrays, with a matching compliment of stacked subs on the floor with front fills. Claire Brothers monitors for Michael – In ears for the band. FOH appeared to be a DiGiCO D5 and the mix was pristine; you could even hear the guitar player against the brass. Lighting really stood out, however; about 50 intelligent fixtures being run on a High End Wholehog platform. Multiple flown scrims with some nice back lighting effects and they even flew in a twinkle light curtain. Not bad for Tulsa, Oklahoma.


     


    Oh…wait a minute…I bet you could care even less about the gear they brought than my wife does. Sorry, it’s a hazard of my job.


    ________________________________________________________________


     


    When I bought my house it had this odd recess in the wall in the dining room. It appears that it was intended to slide a hutch into so it wouldn’t stick out too far into the room. In the entire time I’ve owned the house we have never actually eaten a meal in the dinning room, so we converted it to an office years ago.  My wife has started selling Silpada Designs jewelry and she kept commenting that she needed more storage space in the office, and that perhaps we should buy some shelves to fit into the weird little recess in the wall.


     


    Last weekend she and her mother drove to Indiana to see her daughter. I told her I was spending the entire weekend sitting on my ass watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island. In reality, I pulled out the trusty table saw and built the following cabinets and bookcase into the recess as a surprise for her upon her return:


     



     


    What’s that you say? I’m the greatest husband who ever lived? Yes, you would be correct, and not only that, I’m humble too!


    ________________________________________________________________


     


    I sent my state representative an email about the house bill I blogged about earlier. The man actually called me at home from the house floor to explain why he felt like he needed to vote for the bill.  I can only assume he must not get very many emails.  I certainly don’t agree with him politically, but I was sure as hell impressed that he called me.


    ________________________________________________________________


     


    Harassment at work continues. I’ve stayed true to my decision to pretend I don’t hear the comments, and they have slowed to about five a day. Comments last week centered on the fact that they felt only a gay man would actually spend money to attend a Michael Buble’ concert.  I believe their tastes run more towards tractor pulls. 

  • Happy 23rd Birthday to my incredible son – Jordan Paul LaBouff


    aka – boofshavik


     


    Jordan and his lovely wife LaRae live in Austin, Texas. Jordan is currently working on his PhD in neuroscience at Baylor University and was recently ask to lecture a course next semester for incoming freshman in the honors program. That’s right…he is the MAN.


     


    Click on over and leave a little xanga birthday love for the greatest son on planet earth. Here is photographic evidence of the last time he came home and stole my car.


     


  • EDIT: HB2158 passed last night 60 – 33. My representative Chris Benge voted in favor of the bill…sigh.


    THERE’S NOTHING QUITE AS EXCITING AS A GOOD OLD FASHIONED BOOK BURNING


     


    Or…


     


    Why Oklahoma isn’t about to let South Dakota steal our spot as the most backward thinking state in the nation.


     


     


     


    Oklahoma State Representatives Sally Kern and Tad Jones have introduced House Bill 2158 which would prevent libraries from receiving any state or local funding unless all books with homosexual or sexually explicit subject matter are placed in an “adults only” section of the library and “locked down” so that no one under the age of 17 can view or check-out the materials.


    Kern has stated that libraries must comply with what the legislature feels is the prevailing community standards of our towns, and cities, and entire state, in order to receive funding.


    At first glance this seems somewhat innocuous, but it is nothing more than homophobia disguised as an effort to “protect the children.” It is censorship in its most grievous form.


    They picked three books (all award winners) and pulled individual lines (out of context) from the three volumes (see edit below). They lumped the lines together in a document and are passing it around the press and legislature in an effort to create hysteria over “what our children are being exposed too.”


    These books are already in the adult section of the library and even though they were written for young adults, they are not being displayed along side other young adult titles.


    “Protecting our children” has come to mean isolating them from any thought, idea, concept, or value that is contrary to our own until they reach adulthood. Isolation is what cults do to new recruits. Isolation is what husbands who beat their wives do in order to control them. Isolation is not protection, it is not love; it is abuse.


    If you really want to protect your children, then teach them to think critically. When your child comes across material that you might find objectionable (if you have created an environment of open communication in your home) you can use it as an opportunity to openly discuss your beliefs and values. A child, who has not been taught to examine their beliefs and to think critically, is woefully unprepared for adulthood.


    Does this mean I think pornography should be passed out to grade school children?  Tuck your bigoted, reactionary dogma back in your pants and don’t be ridiculous. I don’t think we need to pass out pornography to grade school children, but I don’t think a book that won an award from the American Literacy Council is going to permanently scar your child either.  Children are not as fragile as we seem to think they are.


    “Prevailing Community Standards” is a pretty broad brush. I wonder what Sally Kern would think of the following passage:


     “I wanted him desperately. His absence was painful. So I got up, went out and roved the city, hunting through streets and down alleys. I wanted my lover in the worst way! The sweet, fragrant curves of your body, the soft, spiced contours of your flesh invite me, and I come. I stay until dawn breathes its light and night slips away. You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.”


    Pretty racy, huh? That’s an excerpt from the fourth chapter of the Song of Solomon (Message Bible).  That Solomon was such a perv! I guess we better put him in lockdown.


    EDIT: In case you are curious what books the excerpts were pulled from they are:


    Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
    Told from the point of view of a 15 or 16 year old boy.  A “Coming of Age” novel.  Has been on several recommended lists for teens.

    Push by Sapphire
    The publisher says: “In an electrifying novel, a black street girl, sixteen years old and pregnant, again, with her father’s child, speaks. In a voice that shakes us by its language, its story, and its unflinching honesty, Precious Jones records her journey up from Harlem’s lowest depths… For Precious, miraculously, hope appears and the world begins to open up when a courageous black woman – a teacher hellbent to teach – bullies, cajoles, and inspires her to learn to read, to define her own feelings and set them down in a diary: to discover the truth of her life. Day after day they go over the pages, translating the illiterate but developing language of Precious’ journals. The learning process itself, as vividly revealed as the most brutal aspects of Precious’ daily existence, is the heartbeat of a novel that will disturb, galvanize, and stay in the mind.” 


    Fade by Robert Cormier
    Cormier was a noted author of books for teens.  He wrote The Chocolate War, which has been challenged numerous times throughout the U.S.  Fade is an adult title, however.  Because of Cormier’s reputation and because the protagonist of Fade is a teenager, the book has been placed in some teen collections    .

  • IT’S TRUE…I DESERVE IT


     


    The “Sexual Harassment” post below made featured content. On the rare occasions this has happened I’ve found it to be a dubious honor because I get all sorts of off-the-wall comments.


     


    I got a really unusual one yesterday. It simply said “You’re a Democrat, so deal with it.” I suppose that this implies that because I’m a Democrat I deserve to be sexually harassed. Or perhaps this person believes that all Democrats are sexually promiscuous and harassment is simply a normal byproduct of our libidinous life styles. It’s hard to tell. They did try to soften things up a bit, though; they concluded with “no offense.”


     


    I chuckled and clicked over to see who my commenter was and was surprised to find that it was a 14 year old girl.  I’m certainly not going to have any sleepless nights over the opinion of someone who is 14 but I’ll have to admit that I find it disturbing that someone that young can already be filled with seeds of hatred toward others different from themselves.


     


    Maybe “seeds of hatred” is a little overly dramatic for a 14 year old. I remember the world being a pretty black and white place at that age, but hearing a belief that others deserve bad treatment because they are different than you come from someone that young gave me a cold chill.  I suddenly had visions of the movie “The Boys from Brazil.” Perhaps this little girl is actually being raised as a clone of Ann Coulter…scary!


     


    Thanks to everyone for your advice, I really appreciate it! (A special thank you to my son for his incredibly poetic rant that I am committing to memory. My favorite line – “Now get your hands out of your pants and let’s get back to work”). For the time being, I’ve decided to document the comments but pretend that I don’t hear them and simply change the subject every time it happens. Perhaps if they don’t get a reaction it will fizzle away.  I thought I was done with Jr. High, but the 14 years olds just keep popping up.

  • Help…I think I’m being sexually harassed


     


    I work in an office with 26 men and two women. A few years back we had a rather matronly female receptionist who had definite territorial issues concerning her desk. Her desk was right up front next to several of the office machines and folks would sometimes sit stuff on her desk while they made a copy or sent a fax. Whenever this happened, her eyes would roll back in their sockets; her head would spin around 360 degrees, and in a voice straight out of the Exorcist she would demand that you take your crap off her desk or she would be forced to kill you with a staple remover. We had a young guy in his early 20’s working in the warehouse at the time who was into body building. One day he actually sat down on the edge of her desk while he was up front talking to a coworker. We all took a collective deep breath and waited for her to go postal on his ass. Instead, she reached out and pinched his ass and said “you can clutter up my desk with that anytime.”


     


    He got a horrified look on his face and ran back into the warehouse screaming “I’ve been sexually harassed, I’ve been sexually harassed!!!”  Of course we never let him live this down.


     


    I think I actually am being sexually harassed.


     


    It’s not coming from the desk Nazi, she’s been gone for years; it’s coming from the other salesmen, and oddly enough…my boss.


     


    I’ve mentioned before that out of the 28 people in my office I am the only Democrat and, when pressed, I’ve made it clear that I support gay rights. I also spent many years involved in the Tulsa theater community directing and acting. During that time I had many gay friends.  Because of that background, the guys here make jokes constantly that imply the only way I could be a Democrat or be involved in the theater community was if I was actually gay myself. These jokes have been going on for years.


     


    (Warning: the following paragraph is going to get VERY graphic…do not read it if you are easily offended)


     


    Theses jokes have bothered me from time to time, but mostly I’ve laughed them off ever since they began. When the jokes turn gross I’ve often played into them just because I know I’m wittier than these clowns and that they can’t one-up me when it comes to being gross. For example the other day I was standing around with the guys and one of them asked if I was able to get my copy of the Brokeback Mountain DVD out of my player because he figured it was really sticky. I replied by ignoring the question and asking him if he had recently changed his diet. When he wanted to know why I was asking I replied; “because my dick smells funny.”


     


    This morning during sales meeting I listened to about 10 jokes in a row about how disappointed I must be that Brokeback Mountain didn’t win best picture, and at some point it just ceased to be funny and I got very, very, tired of it.


     


    I didn’t say anything, but I went back to my office fuming. I thought about saying something to my boss, but he’s been telling the jokes along with them for years. I also thought that if I made a fuss about it that it would just get worse or the guys really would think I was gay. That’s when it hit me… I’ve heard about sexual harassment for years, and in at least a small way, this is how it must actually feel. What if I was actually gay? What if I was a woman who had to endure taunting or sexual aggressiveness? How much worse would I feel then? It would be horrible.


     


    I certainly laughed when our receptionist made her remark to my coworker years ago, and I’m guilty of having made light of sexual harassment stories from time to time. I guarantee you I won’t ever make light of them again.


     


    I still have no idea what to do…what do you think?

  •         FREEDOM OF SPEECH???


    Do you know what I love about America? I love, that for the time being anyway, we enjoy freedom of speech and that people can say the craziest shit you’ve ever heard in public forums and it’s OK. Isn’t that cool!


    What is even more fun is when the crazy talker gets so far out in left field that associates begin to distance themselves from the talkee.


    That happened several years ago here in Tulsa when Oral Roberts began to tell people that he saw a 900 foot tall Jesus who told him to raise 8 million dollars or he would kill Oral. Boy was that ever fun! The University people (including Oral’s son; University president Richard Roberts) immediately got together and decided that it might be best if dad didn’t make too many more public appearances.


    It’s happened again with current religious whack-job Pat Robertson.


    The National Religious Broadcasters Association decided not to elect Pat back to their board of directors because of his recent assertions on national television that American agents should assassinate Hugo Chavez and for suggesting that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s stroke was divine retribution for pulling Israel out of the Gaza Strip.


    I was actually at the NRB convention in Dallas last week when this happened. My company had booth space on the convention floor and I spent the day talking to a wide assortment of people I can only describe as having very big hair.


    Let me just say that if this group of people thinks you’re nuts…you’re nuts.


    Opening your mouth in smaller forums can also cause unwanted results. I’m sure you’ve heard about the teacher in Aurora Colorado who was put on leave while school administrators investigate remarks he made about President Bush in class. Apparently, during a discussion on the State of the Union Address, he made comments in which he stated that some people have compared President Bush to Hitler. The school has stated that they have put him on leave, not because of the comments, but because he didn’t give equal time to opposing view points.  If you believe that you’ve probably seen a 900 foot tall Jesus or two in your life time.


    If you’re honest, you’ll admit that your opinion on this matter probably comes down to whether you agree with what he said or not. I would have to admit that my first reaction was that he is being unfairly persecuted, but – if he had gotten up there and compared Bill Clinton to Hitler or told the class they were going to hell if they believed in evolution instead of creationism I would probably feel very differently. Freedom of speech is a very, very tricky animal. You can’t claim it just for your side.


    Both parties would probably be wise to realize that subtlety can be the better part of valour. I’m fully behind Pat’s right to believe that space aliens have told him that all Democrats should be sent to re-education camps if that is what he believes and to shout that opinion from the rooftops, and I’m fully behind this teacher’s right to voice his opinion as well. They both, however, might have chosen their words and their forums a little more carefully if they wanted their message to be met with less resistance. Comparing Bush to Hitler is probably not in the best taste. I know I would never make such a comparison. 



    Ain’t freedom of speech grand?