February 6, 2006
-
TURN THE OTHER CHEEK? NOT SO MUCH…
At my church we are in the middle of a series on the New Testament beatitudes. A beatitude we recently studied was meekness and it included a discussion of the concept of turning the other cheek. I reported to the church on Sunday that I had failed a recent test of applying this principle in my life.
Earlier in the week I was out tooling around in the mid-life-crisis mobile. It was an unseasonably warm day here in Oklahoma and I had the top down. As I pulled through a convenience store parking lot I noticed three young men; all apparently involved in various construction trades (or perhaps Village People wannabes, I’m not sure) walking toward the store.
They noticed me as well and I’m not sure what it was, but something about me, my car, or the combination of the two seemed to draw the ire of these young men and they began to shout insults at me.
The remarks were typical of what one would expect; they called my masculinity into question, they suggested that I harbored unnatural affections for my mother, and they further suggested that best thing for me would be a sound thrashing that they would be most happy to deliver.
The smart thing to do in situations like this would be to “turn the other cheek” and to simply ignore the behavior and be on your way; which I was doing a splendid job of until I had to drive directly past the young men to exit the parking lot. As I approached the mouthiest of the bunch he remarked; “If you were a real man, you’d have a bitch in that car with you.” This was one of those rare, magic opportunities that present themselves so rarely in life, so unable to stop myself, I replied; “You’re exactly right, hop in.”
Before purchasing my car, I read a report in Road and Track Magazine which stated that the particular model I was considering was able to accelerate from 0 to 60 in 5.5 seconds. I had not tested that particular performance specification until that precise moment. I’m happy to report that the car performed as promised and I was able to avoid the thrashing they had offered to administer.
I may not have turned the other cheek, but I don’t think even Jesus could have turned down an opening like that.
Comments (27)
OOOOOO YOU SO ROCK!!!!!!!!!
LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!! OMY.. I would have given them the
Finger.. but you said it SO GOOD.. LOL!!
thanks.. that SO helped my monday!!!
YOU ROCK! Cynde (Still giggling!)
Genius! I only wonder if they had the brains to understand it.
Well done, sirrah, well done.
There’s nothing better than a second of stunned silence to save your ass.
That is damn funny. You so rarely get fed a line like that in real life.
Did you laugh all the way home?
Hop in?…..LMAO!!!!!!! YOU ARE JUST TOO FUNNY!…even when you are being obnoxious, that is what I like so much about you.
Priceless!!!
I love this!! You couldn’t have come back with a better retort. Keep it up. (no pun intended)
That was way too funny. Damn Okies!
Excellent!! Thanks for a great laugh!! Very rarely can I come back with a comment such as that…..that was great!
Hahahahaha, that was beautiful! Just beautiful.
The perfect response! And not really a failure to turn the other cheek, in my opinion.
I wish I’d been sitting next to you with my sparkly shoe propped up on the dash and they’d have been soooo jealous.
Good one! LMAO!
Absolutely GENIUS! You know… turning the other cheek is a tough one for me, too… especially when such a great opportunity arises! Repent… NOW… thanks to His grace, you will be forgiven… that’s the best part… Isn’t He great!?
Rofl. That’s great. Absolutely fabulous. I can just picture it.
Best comeback I’ve heard. Beats the finger anyday!
If God wanted us to always turn the other cheek, he wouldn’t have invented straight lines.
ryc: The button came from either The Silver Spider or Gypsy Magic. They both stocked commie pinko fag merchandise – I can’t remember which was which, only that I’d found kindred spirits.
You have my greatest respect. You the mack LOL
hehehe…..it’s a wonder you’ve lived to the ripe old age of 46….in Oklahoma
xoxoxo
TOO FUNNY! You’re hilarious.
WWJR… What Would Jesus Retort
*In classic Waynes World style* We’re not worthy… We’re not worthy… Jesus would of personally come down and smacked ya upside the head for not using the elite skillz his old man gave ya if you did turn the other cheek.
I am cracking up. Even Jesus would have appreciated your inspired words….I’m sure of it….. (well as sure as I am about anything to do with deity)
Rock on!
good for u. get any takers?
RYC I totally loved my stint as Artistic Director and would be there to this day if I hadn’t moved. I know what you mean. Being in sales has totally disrupted my theater time. The last show I did was last April when I acted in the Laramie Project. I love to direct, but there is still that actress in me that loves the lime light. What is your favorite role in a show that you have performed? What is your favorite show that you have directed?
Apparently none of us are big fans of really acting on the call to meekness, judging from the above comments. Not that I’m disagreeing with them in any way. But then, I won’t pretend to be a particularly good Christian, at least in that kind of sense.
ill teach you to dance!!!