January 8, 2006
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ARE WOMEN REALLY SHALLOW CREATURES AFTER
I’ve always had and an idealistic concept regarding the basic decency of women. This isn’t bullshit, “politically correct” rhetoric; it’s honestly what I’ve always thought. At the risk of being a self-indulgent arm chair psychoanalyst, I’m sure it has everything to do with my childhood. I’ve talked a lot about growing up recently and those of you who read this blog know I grew up as an only child with a mentally ill mother and a distant father. Even though my mother was mentally ill, she was a loving, caring woman of exceptional intelligence with an unblemished moral and ethical character. My father was…well, he wasn’t any of those things. As a result, I grew up generally distrusting men, and assuming that most women, simply by virtue of their gender, possessed the qualities my mother had. With some notable exceptions, I’ve rarely been disappointed by this world view.
A few days prior to purchasing my “mid-life crisis” car, a manufactures rep that I’ve know for years stopped by my office. This guy drives a brand new Mercedes SL500 convertible. He had heard that I was getting ready to go pick up the Z4 and he wanted to warn me about what, he perceived, might be unanticipated side effects of owning the car. He slapped me on the shoulder and said “you know what you’re going to hate about driving that car? All sorts of women are going to start checking you out, and as an old married guy, you can’t do anything about it!” He laughed hysterically at himself and left.
Even though I have no desire to “do anything about it”, I thought, “He’s nuts. I’ve been invisible to women for decades, and no fancy car is going to change that.” I also thought; “besides, even though buying a sports car is routinely joked about as a way to pick up chicks, it’s an urban myth. No woman is going to check out a guy just because of the car he’s driving. Women are above that sort of thing.”
Apparently, I was wrong.
My wife and I were driving out to her sister’s house today and we stopped at a convenience store to get gas. As we pulled away, my wife said “did you see that woman checking you out? She thought you were cute.” I correctly answered; “What woman? I didn’t see any woman.” (I may naive, but I’m no dummy.)
This isn’t the first time this has happened since I bought the car. I’ve noticed on several occasions that I’ve gotten the proverbial “double take” in traffic or someplace I’ve stopped the car for a few moments; and these are women who would have NEVER looked twice at me a few months ago when I was a driving my 1999 Explorer with the dent in right-rear quarter panel.
I suppose I should be flattered by this, but I know it has nothing to do with me; it has only to do with the wheels underneath me.
(For those of you who haven’t seen it…here is the car.)
My world view is shattered. Of course, men are shallow enough to check out a woman because of the size of her breasts, or the tightness of her jeans. We’re Neanderthals; we do crap like that all of the time! We stare at a woman’s chest during a conversation instead of her face because we’re pond scum. It’s in our sad, permanently adolescent nature! But women…pure, beatific, women aren’t attracted to men because of something as shallow as a car are they?!? Say it ain’t so!
So this is what I want to know: Am I absurdly naive? Have I led a life so ridiculously sheltered that I need to be dope slapped? Do I need to wake up and smell the coffee?
Ladies, I really want to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Comments (36)
It speaks to instinct not greed. Your car says that you are not only financially secure but probably in your position based in part on intelligence or other heratible traits,,,,,and …we are biologically programmed to notice males of the species who have power , or have been successful because on some primitive level you may have better genes ( and jeans ) to share…
of course there is also the notion that your car might make us look good….
yeah…wow…great car.
but, really, you have a nice car, you probably have the connections; connections mean power, power means you can provide, yada, yada, yada.
or else you are just really hot.
I guess it’s true. But I’ve never been into cars. I look at a middle-aged guy in a fancy sports car and think “there’s a self-impressed prick.” Present company excepted, of course. I harbor stereotypes too.
YOU should know what it’s all about with a woman. It’s the size of the…………wallet!
Just as there are some men who aren’t shallow, there are some women who are. That’s the problem with generalizations – there are always more than one exception to the “rule” and what I’ve learned is that people are people everywhere you go. There are ignorant people in the north just like their stereotyped counterparts in the south, there are rude people in the south just like their stereotyped counterparts in the north. There are “ugly Europeans” just like there are “ugly Americans”…so on and so forth, it goes for every conceivable stereotype. To pigeonhole anyone into any catagory is to deceive ourselves in the long run.
Nice car! I grew up in an auto family, I probably really WOULD be checking out your car!
My dear departed was a dentist so I notice a guy’s teeth…..after I check out the fit of the jeans from the rear. Car doesn’t matter….and you thought I was too old to notice:)
There are just as many shallow women as there are shallow men. It’s not confined to gender, sadly. There are millions of women who are above flirting with someone just because he drives a nice car. But since you drive a beautiful car, you attract the women who are attracted to money, prestige, and the spotlight.
At the risk of dissing my own gender, of couse a lot of woman are shallow, but not all, a lot of us are though, I am more like transvestite_rabbit, but a lot of the tribe of woman are definitly shallow, sorry.
Women can be gearheads, too. I notice a guy in a nice car before I notice a guy in a mini-van with plastic wood sidepanels. It works both ways, though. I traded a Camaro for a Taurus. I got a lot of attention in the Camaro, nobody seemed to notice me in the grocery-getter.
Okay….here is my take on this. Guys check out a woman’s breast/tightness of jeans and think what? It would be nice to “get with her”. I’ve never heard of a guy actually wanting to be in a relationship with someone they look at like that. It’s a fling. They want the fling. If I see a guy driving an awesome car, like the one above, I generally think the same thing. I think, “Boy I should would look good in that car! I wonder if he would let me drive it.” (Sometimes the thought does cross my mind that he is compensating for something, but that is another topic entirely!) But in the long run, I’ll choose the dependable 1999 Explorer with the dent in right-rear quarter panel.
Great car !! What were you asking us ?
the daughter checks out cars all the time. i’ve been with her when she’s checked out cars and she’ll say things like “don’t ever let dad buy one of those cars and embarrass us.” to me, eh, it’s just a car.
…..so….. by writing this, you’re telling me you don’t buy into that whole “Jaguar / gorgeous” spin?
xoxoxo
I love the boyfriend’s Rangie. I would still be with him even though he drove a little spitting bug. But I still do double takes on Rangies on the road; I admire the paint, the lights – the entire chunk of metal turns me on.
If a guy checks out my arse, then I’ve got a good arse to be proud of. If a girl wants a-something with you because of your car, its really her problem. Not all of us should be driving around in a little spitting bug because of a couple of golddiggers. And besides, when there are givers there will always be takers.
Girls like to look at guys as much as guys like to look at the girls. We’re just usually not as obvious about it! Yes, I think a car like that will definitely get you noticed more by women, because the car is far less ordinary than most you see. True, there are shallow women who would be attracted to what they see as money and prestige, just as there are guys who are attracted to the packaging of an beautiful woman. Most people, let’s hope, look beyond those things in rather short order!
Kathi
At least they didn’t stop and ask to look in your trunk! Women….we can be so materialistic and shallow at times. I guess these women that are checking you out are picturing themselves riding alonside you, hair flowing in the wind as they ride down the highway.
Somehow it’s just more attractive to see a man riding around in a Mercedes than say a …Yugo.
I dunno….Just my thinking….as shallow as it may be.
I’m sad to say, it IS true. I think it has to do with seeing something that is (a) beautiful and (b) not seen that often. I admit I do double takes for guys in sexy sports cars, not because I am looking for a sugar daddy, I just can’t seem to look away from the dang car when it’s next to me…or several lanes ahead. On the odd side of that, I’m sure if your wife came home one day with new DD breasts, you would definitely notice (and I don’t mean in a platonic way), but if my boyfriend came home with a new sports car, I don’t think I’d look twice. Explain that one to me?
Yes, women do this.. of course we do. Guys do it as well. I was in the grocery store last night in sweats, hair pulled back and no makeup. Hub was cleanly dressed and nice looking.. I caught several women looking at him, then me.. GASP! I was like, “honey.. they are checking you out..” he was like.. who? What? LOL.. guys sometimes never pay attention.
I think new cars do matter.. we all want to see who has the goods! have a great day.
Sigh. To think I wasted all those years of being single by driving a Hyundai…
NO< women are not shallow. I cant believe you even said that. The reason the can makes you suddenly more attractive is that women look at the car and think to themselves that if you can afford a car that isnt utilitarian or family oriented then it must be because you have a surplus of money which in turn gives you the appearance of being a secure stable man with no freak job women in your life who lead you around by the neck. Its the illusion that they are attracted to….because ultimately all women are looking for a man who makes them feel secure and for many of us that means financial stability and a sports car tends to give that air.
No matter how evolved and sophisticated we think we are, it all comes down to instinct. Men look at attractive women because they are genetically programmed to propagate, and women are unconsciously looking for a strong successful male to take care of them and their offspring.
Either that or you just looked damn sexy in that car.
Ummm, In the immortal words of “Mork from Ork”, who bought a dinner plate as a birthday gift for a pretty gilrs birthday, he explained that he did this since it was the best gift he could think of for a “shallow” person….That line has always stuck with me…does it mean something that I have a huge china collection, with litterally dozens of “shallow” dinner plates?…LOL…
Actually, I always check out the “old” guys driving those little sports cars…I want to get a good look at the man going through that mid life crisis as I giggle at him…and let him know gently that the having to top down is not doing much for his toupee….not that I think you wear one….do you?…
Just messing with ya…I think that you must look really “hot” driving that sweet car around!
wow, hot ride. too bad you’re married.
seriously, some things are just meant to be attention-getters, and a cute little sports car is one of them. i’m sure there are some women shallow enough to actually be attracted to a guy because of his car, just as some of us are shallow enough to be attracted to a stranger who wears his button-down shirts with the sleeves rolled up (or maybe that’s just me). but then, this is what attention-getters are for, to create that initial spark of attraction, that second look. but i don’t think that makes us shallow. i think it’s what happens after that determines if we’re shallow; does the attraction prevail over other factors (genuine compatability)? then yeah. otherwise, probably not.
enjoy the double-takes, even the ones that are directed more at the car than the guy driving it. people who know you probably check out the car, too. but they don’t love you for it.
There are lots of people in this world, and some are shallow. Some happen to be women.
For the most part, I don’t think women give a fig about a fancy new car.
I, personally, have no intrest in a guy’s ride. My husband and I met when we talked about books and things at a coffee house. That’s what turned me on–his mind.
So, don’t let your world view be shattered. A few mall rats will like your car, but women, in general, are usually extremely practical and this sort of thing won’t last.
(The car is very nice.)
Lynn
maybe they were checking out the car? but yeah, it’s likely that there are women who are just that attracted to the glitz of a sexy new car.
What Rabbit said. ^
Either you’re hanging out in all the wrong places or I’m about to be (once again) disillusioned by reality. I have a real keen interest in certain cars, and will definitely check the cars out when I see them up close and in person, but I don’t even glance at the drivers and couldn’t care less if they are men, women, aliens or animals. Certain cars will turn heads. Period. Now if I’m wrong about that and women will jump into bed with the driver, please don’t tell me. I’m not even going to read the other comments for fear of finding that I come from a shallow genetic pool. Just be happy and enjoy the ride.
RYC: Santa did, duh!
We like shiny things, despite our common sense and the “un-shallow” side :) haha
mhmmm… probably wouldn’t check you out in that car…. but if it was volkswagon…..beetle….. jetta from the 80′s…. or a nice old van, then I’d check yout out to see if you’re as cool as your car is.
so i guess…. sexy car = sexy man just like for me hippy vw = hippy person
Haven’t you ever seen movies like “Clueless” or other such shows? It’s all about the money, baby!
Seriously, that’s a sweet little mid-life crisis you’ve got there. From my standpoint, I would definitely be checking out the CAR. Not the guy. The CAR. After that, I’d look to see what the person looked like who was driving it. But that’s as far as I’d go. I don’t really check out guys as much anymore. Now that I’m an old married woman. At least, I don’t do it in public. On the TV screen, now that’s a different matter……
Wow what a day to pick to come over and say hi to you!!!!
Are women that shallow? You know, if your going to buy a car that flashes that brightly you cannot expect women ‘and even men’ to not look. Have you noticed if men look too? Or just if the women look? Its flashy, has pizazz, style, says something about the owner of it. Shallow would be if the woman came over and started flirting. Looking twice? Thats not being shallow is it? I would look twice if I saw that car around here.. but then again around here its all pick-ups, beat up cars, or the elderly out in their sunday sedan’s. Seldom to never do you see flash in this corner of ND. If I looked past the car to the person driving it, if it was an older man, I would immediatly draw the conclusion that he was one of two things, a man with power who puts a lot of care in the presentation of himself, or he was going through his mid-life crisis, neither one of them hold appeal to me. Stereotypical yes. But being shallow for looking? I dont agree at all. Some yes, most? I would think not. Not unless a man is assumed because he looks at a woman’s breasts or behind is automatically a cheating slimeball! We have eyes for a reason. Nothing wrong with looking. Its how you behave and carry yourself that speaks the loudest. If you showed up at the next gas pump I would look at your bright shiny car, then nod my head at you if you were in sight so I wouldnt be considered rude for staring at your zippy car and then it would be back to business. What harm is there in that? I wasnt drooling or being coy and slipping my phone number under your windshield wiper. That would be shallow.
Anyway… came over to say Hi and to see how you were doing! Take care of you and yours and enjoy your new toy!!!! ~Barbi
RYC: That pig better catch some serious air for me to return. I loved Park City. Any town that enables you to catch a lift from downtown straight up the mountain is okay by me.
Some folks are shallow, some are not, plain and simple. It works on the opposite spectrum also. Several years ago, a friend drove the most rusted out, public ugly you have ever seen and received so many curious glances she finally placed a bumper sticker on the back end which said: “Why yes, I AM a movie star.”
What do you do, ey?
Peace~
Great car, by the way.
It depends on the kind of woman. Most of my female friends wouldn’t date a man just because of his car, although that’s not to say that they wouldn’t check him out. I also think that women are more prone to do things like checking a man out because of his car when they’re in groups.
Anyway, it really depends on the person, although on the whole I’d say that most women wouldn’t do that.