December 16, 2005
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MY POLITICALLY CORRECT CHRISTMAS WISH FOR YOU
I was really hoping that, nationally, we would be able to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas this year. You know; uncle Ted throwing up on the plastic reindeer, mom being whacked out on Prozac because the celebration isn’t “perfect”, dealing with that obnoxious brother in law who thinks flatulence is an art form, and having to explain to family and friends that “Little Jimmy” won’t be home for Christmas this year because he’s doing 10 to 20 at Joliette for armed robbery. Ah…those Christmas traditions make me feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about them!
I see now that won’t be possible, because we are in a national tizzy over political correctness. I’m sure you’ve heard that Jerry Falwell, and others are upset with Wal Mart because their employees are saying “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas”, and that some of the president’s constituents thought he wimped out by signing the annual White House Christmas card “with best wishes for a holiday season of hope and happiness.”
I happen to celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ. However, let me say that if you’ve got time to organize a boycott of Wal Mart because a greeter said “Happy Holidays” to you, you have WAY too much time on your hands.
That being said, in an effort to exercise my own brand of political correctness, I would like to extend the following holiday greetings to some specific individuals and groups:
To my Islamic Brother in Law: I’d like you to know how much I admire you for coming to this country with limited resources and building a phenomenally successful business which regularly provides employment to 50 or more of us God fearing Americans. I also want to say that I’m sorry your brother, who’s real name is Mohammed, has to go by “Michael” because us God fearing Americans won’t do business with him if he goes by his real name. My Christmas wish for you is continued success and happiness. To you I extend a very Merry Christmas.
To Ian LaBouff (the son of my cousins Brian and Jenny LaBouff) who is currently serving in the Navy: Even though I’ve not been a supporter of the war, it certainly doesn’t mean I don’t support you. What you do takes incredible courage and bravery. Yours is a profession of honor and I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for you. I gladly acknowledge, that were it not for the sacrifice of young men and women like you, and my older friends who went to Vietnam, and my father who served two tours of duty during World War II, that I might not be able to sit here and type anything I want to type into this blog. My Christmas wish for you and those serving with you is that you stay safe and come home soon. To you I extend a very Merry Christmas.
To the many gay and lesbian friends I’ve had over the years: Thank you for your friendship and for being a part of my life. My Christmas wish for you is that someday, people will become less concerned about what you do with your genitalia that what you do with your hearts, minds, talent, and lives. To you I extend a very Merry Christmas.
To those of you who love
Comments (36)
You know, I was chastised because in one of the sets of Christmas Cards, on the inside, it had the standard pre-printed “HAPPY HOLIDAYS” . I did not even notice it until someone pointed it out to me. I always say Merry Christmas – but I don’t check every detail of wrapping paper, cards, etc. to make sure it has to specifically state “Merry Christmas”. To me, that is how it is. I never thought the Happy Holidays was a big deal until this year with all the squawking about it. It was just another phrase -
Happy Hannukah everyone.
I just don’t understand this rediculous, semantic, “war on Christmas.” I thought the whole idea of religious liberty in America centered around the ability to to whatever the feck you want inside your own home.
If I want to put some foliage in my house and dance around it naked on Dec. 20th and celebrate Solstace, then how on EARTH does that limit someone elses use of that same foliage to celebrate the birth of their deity?
To quote John Stewart: “You might have not noticed, but there are actually two Holidays that even Christians celebrate right around this time. Now, I could say ‘You have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year too,’ but then again, I’ve got shit to do!”
Once again you managed to express what I was thinking in a tongue in cheek way that makes me smile!
You’ve done it again, dear heart! How I wish I had your talent for expression, and a Merry Christmas to you!
Good post. I send out Seasons’ Greetings cards at work because I don’t want to think whether the card I’ve chosen will be ”meaningful” to anyone. I respect others’ beliefs and holidays. At home, I send out what I please.
And Merry Christmas to you Mark!
RYC: I bought that Christmas Nail years ago, so I don’t know if Hallmark still carries it. If they don’t you could try a Christian book store.
How very nicely said. And a very Merry Christmas to you.
Wow, I can’t argue with a thing here. You hit it on the head!
This whole War on Christmas thing is just ludicrous, because people have been saying “happy holidays” for years. Years. It’s nothing new and it’s certainly not a war on anything. I think it’s just another smokescreen invented those who are trying to make us forget about the FEMA f***-up, the mess of the war, the recent Iraqi election that had many irregularities, Bush in a bubble, Tom DeLay, the Plame scandal, do I need to mention more?
Yeah, you are right. We are free to celebreate whatever we want to, and Jerry Falwell obviously has too much time on his hands. As for me, I’m more inclined to shop at Wal-mart and Target thanks to their stupid boycott.
Lynn
Oh yes, I forgot to add: Please expand your boycott on Wal-Mart. I need milk, and the less of you whackjobs I have to encounter while trying to get to the back of the store, the better.
I loved reading this, thanks for posting.
The ‘politcal correctness’ of our countries is spiralling out of control, it is getting more than slighty ridiculous now!
Children are not allowed to learn the nursery rhyme “baa baa black sheep” or refer to the “blackboard” or “whiteboard” these days – instead they must say “chalkboard” or “wipeboard”.
Damn, you are good.
Great entry.
Another bullseye. Love your wit. Love your wisdom. Especially love the fact that you’re not afraid to voice either one of them. You should be writing editorials.
Merry Christmas to you and your family, my dear xangapal. God’s blessings.
xoxoxo
And what am I, chopped liver? : )
I found you through transvestite_rabbit’s comments, and I just wanted to say how stunned I am that there is a straight white guy in OK who is thoughtful and articulate (and not a bigot).
Your comment was about the funniest thing I’ve ever read! I was almost rolling on the floor laughing (but that might have prompted Anthony Perkins to attack me, lol)!!
Your post is excellent. I missed the last one, so I read that, too. I’m very sorry about what your mother endured. You have a very good outlook on life!
Kathi
Hi Mark!
Oh Gods, way too funny! You did it again! It’s going on up here in N.D. as well. No longer is it a ‘Christmas festival’ but a ‘Holiday festival’ in Fargo. What the heck. I always thought Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays were interchangable! Guess that idea has been tossed out in the rubbish as well now. This is madness, absolute madness what is going on this year. Loved how you wrote this! A very Merry Christmas to you and yours Mark!!
~RYC Moi? Devious? ::grins::
Heh…I agree….where do people find the time to boycott “Sayings” anyway????? I need some of that spare time.
Also, thank you for the kind words to Ian LaBouff. It just seems like yesterday we didn’t allow him to cross the street. Next month he’s headed overseas.
Our national tizzies are becoming very tiresome!
Excellent….just excellent! You hit the nail on the head every time.
I concur, Happy Everything, whatever it is and God Bless You.
RYC: Yes, I hired a salesman, I gave him your terms and he said he thought he could work around those strict (a’hem) guidelines.
RYC: A real ER is a bit like the show–there’s no shortage of patients who attack doctors and nurses, but the helicopter has never crashed into the hospital. I don’t know about the sordid affairs, but there is definitely a sexually charged atmosphere.
someone at WalMart said Happy Holidays to me, and I smiled, and said back, “Merry Christmas.” She winked at me, and whispered back, “Merry Christmas!” It was great!
Well said, as usual. I always enjoy reading your blog…
moo
Bravo !!
yeah, the only thing ironic about people saying “happy holidays” is that it means the same thing as “merry christmas,” except even more so. holiday means “holy day.” so yeah, they’re just screwing over thier political correctness.
I think we all just need to get over ourselves. Heck, wwe’re lucky if the cashier actually says “Thank you!” Well said, as usual!
This is a fabulous post. I don’t know you, but it is very encouraging to hear you represent yourself as a Christian AND a liberal! Amen to that…
I’ll tip some eggnog to that.
)
The thing I don’t get ,and which your post alludes to is why we are making problems where none exist ,and ignoring issues that really do merit some thought like bigotry becoming so comfortable that people wear it and don’t even notice what they have on…….,may you and yours enjoy the holiday,and I am sure in your household it will also be a celebration of the Prince of Peace…(who I wager is wondering if we will ever get his most basic teachings….. peace Mia Lucia
lol, no i was looking in a blog and that was what somebody had for their “about me” and i thought it was really funny.. haha
Merry Christmas Mark.
May I wish you a very happy Isaac Newton’s birthday?