December 11, 2005

• WHAT’S IN AN IMAGE?

  
  

   

  
  

  Many of you know that I make my living in sales. A couple of months ago I attended a sales seminar with several of my colleagues. The presenter indicated that he felt that “image” was an incredibly important factor in achieving sales success. “Shallow, superficial, poser” I thought. “I’m glad I’m not concerned about something as trivial as image.” Then I noticed that my coworkers kept glancing over at me every time he mentioned the subject. After the seminar our Vice President caught me in a hallway, draped his arm over my shoulder, and said “during that part about image, you were taking notes weren’t you?”

  
  

   

  
  

  I was beginning to feel a little paranoid, but I brushed it off as seminar induced hysteria. The next morning, however, all of the sales staff walked into my office. Our Vice President said “Mark, this is an intervention. You drive a junker, you haven’t updated your wardrobe since 1974, and your constant diet of Mt. Dew and Little Debbie’s Snack Cakes is making you look like you’re hiding an inner tube in your pants. You’re really making the rest of us look bad.” They blindfolded me, clubbed me in the back of the head, and threw me in a panel van.  When I woke up, I was at image rehab.

  
  

   

  
  

  I’m in the middle of their 12 week course. I’ve lost 16 pounds, threw away all of my dickies, white shoes, and tasseled leather vests, and bought my mid-life-crisis car. I’ve still got a long way to go but I’ve made enough progress that they gave me a day pass so I could take a current picture and do this post.

  
  

   

  
  

  Here I was six weeks ago:

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

  Here I am today:

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

  Here is where I hope to be at the end of my rehab stay:

  
  

   

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

  This had better help my sales, or my “image” is going to be repossessed.

  • 2:57 pm
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