October 26, 2005

  • IT’S SHEER TORTURE


     


    I spent some time this afternoon listening to a debate on NPR regarding the McCain-Graham anti-torture amendment attached to the Pentagon’s appropriations bill. This is a very complex issue and while I’m firmly in McCain’s camp, it is going to be interesting to hear expert testimony on both sides of the fence in the weeks ahead. While I’m not trying to make light of that issue, I do wish someone would sponsor a domestic anti-torture bill aimed at eliminating current pop culture atrocities that torture average Americans on a daily basis.


     


    I would support legislation aimed at making the following items illegal, or the following people criminal, due to the torture they inflict daily on sane people everywhere:




    •  Those Verizon “can you hear me now?” commercials.


    •  Any utterance from the mouth of Ann Coulter.


    •  Any advertisement (print, radio, or television) by a personal injury lawyer.


    •  Anyone declaring that they have good news about having saved money on their car insurance.


    •  “Fair & Balanced” news reporting.


    •  Network weather people reporting hurricane conditions.


    •  Negative pre-election campaign adds.


    •  Credit card offers in the mail.


    •  Anyone warning me about the dangers of erections lasting more than four hours.


    •  Anyone advising me to ask my doctor about a medication of which the side effects include; “dizziness, dry mouth, explosive diarrhea, and sometimes…death.”


    •  Reality TV “celebrities.”


    •  People who use their cell phones while driving.


    •  Soccer moms who drive Hummers.


    And finally, the single most torturous thing being endured by Americans today:


     



    • Any speech by George W. Bush.

Comments (13)

  • I’ve started a study on my driving. As you know, I drive about 188 miles a day, three days a week. This allows me several opportunities to observe driving habits.

    Keeping track of only the people doing stupid things with their vehicles (lane changes without signaling, below the speed limit in the passing-only lane, near misses, etc.) I have an n of about 70.

    Of that, 63 have been on their cell phones. 63.

    Also 44 have been women, but that would get me in trouble if I reported it.

    Once I hit about 150 observations I’ll be doing some stats, and I’ll let you know just how awful people are at driving while on the phone.

  • I’d vote for your list.  I’d add one more.  That annoying commercial for finding a car online.  I don’t know what company it advertises, since I don’t watch much TV.  But I do know that wherever I am anywhere in the house and that irritating music comes on, it permeates my brain and evokes all my homicidal tendencies. 

    xoxoxo

  • You are so funny! And I’m ready to sign along with you if you’ll add
    Anytime Rita Cosby opens her mouth:)

  • i must confess that a couple of the things on your list make me laugh, and that i am guilty of talking on the phone while driving- but i have an excuse!! the radio in my truck doesn’t work! and if i sit there too long not doing anything, i tend to talk to myself, and then i look really really silly, so i talk to other people on the phone instead. and i am a girl… go figure!

  • I vote for your list, where can I sign, except for the first one, I kind of LIKE the one with the monkey mimiking the Verizon guy, but that’s just me! hehehe

    I would like to add one, outlaw anything that has to do with Paris Hilton….what is the deal with this girl anyway, why all the attention, she’s rich and spoiled, and has no talent whatsoever, so why is she a celebrity?….OK, I’ve vented, I feel better now.

  • 4 hours?????? Doesn’t sound dangerous to me!! lol

  • Listening to the Senate debate any topic is torture enough for anybody.

  • I like your list….turning of the TV helps me a lot..cuts down on much of it….the car phone thing is awful because people are getting killed by drivers who are distracted..The last item…what really gets me sputtering mad me is not that he talks but that people listen…..

  • Outlaw infomercials so that late night TV can be can be old classic movies and Any Griffith reruns like God intended.

  • LOL yup I been yelling in the wind about advertising – its only (well maybe not) reason why I do not watch local tv – I watch only movies – or sometimes (dont tell) Jimmy Neutron and Law and Order. LOL But, I do not like them telling what to smell like, what to wear, what to buy, what to drive and then telling me if I dont do that then, I will get no sex, no love, and that I will have no life – WAIT! nah that cant be it –

  • Confession: I like the “can you hear me now” commercials. Im sorry.

  • Yes those darned cell phones. I’m guilty of it…but I do not do it often or as a habit….and never on the turnpike or on the freeway.  I was once broadsided by a teenage girl who ran a stop sign while on her cell phone.  That ticked me off ! 

    I think Jordan sees more women on cell phones then men because more woman talk then men, more women chat on the phone then men do. women!  Those darn women drivers!  Maybe we should support legislation to ban women drivers and give them their own male escort service….then they can put on their make up, talk on their phones and finish getting dressed each morning on their way to work.  I kinda like that idea.

  • I like some of the GEICO commercials (sorry) :) , but I also agree with adding Rita Cosby and Paris Hilton. And Tom Cruise. What is up with HIM?

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