September 23, 2005
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TUFFY THE TIGER
(part duex)
I promised a part 2 regarding a “loving response” to the victims of Katrina, so here goes. When I did my post about compassionate conservatism being an oxymoron I got some replies that echo a type of rhetoric I often hear. It goes something like this (cue violin music): “When I was young my family was so poor that we ate dirt three meals a day. If we were lucky and it rained, we had mud for dessert. When it was a good week at the sewage plant, my dad would bring home pieces of broken bottles he dug out of the muck for us to play with. But I overcame my humble beginnings. I walked 500 miles a week collecting empty beer cans and in my spare time I was a mule for the Columbian drug cartels. I raised enough money to send myself to college. Now I’m the CEO of a multi-national corporation who’s about to be sent to prison for securities fraud. I realized the American dream and so can anyone else. So I’ll be damned if I’m going to give a cent to people who are in circumstances just like mine when I was a kid.”
To those folks I say: “You think you have a sad story?!?!?! Well here’s mine, and mine is actually true!!!” I was an only child and when I was 7 my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. My dad traveled so I was left at home by myself to take care of my mother. During my senior year in high school my father lost his job. That loss combined with the astronomical medical bills incurred by my mother being in and out of mental hospitals meant there was no money for me to go to college. So, I worked three jobs simultaneously so I could go to school. I got up every morning at
What I don’t understand is why that bit of personal history should make me resentful of others who don’t have to do what I had to do. I wouldn’t wish my college life on ANYONE, so I’m thrilled when someone gets a scholarship, even one they might not deserve, because it gives them an extra chance to succeed. And if they piss away that opportunity? well, I’m sorry they did, but I’m not sorry they got the chance.
For those of you who want to look at this from a religious/biblical perspective, I give you Matthew 25:35-40. “For I was hungry, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee hungry, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”
Ok…I’m not a theologian, but I do have a seminary degree and I don’t see anywhere in there where Jesus said feed me if I’m appropriately grateful, or clothe me as long I’m not standing with my hand out.
For those who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about a religious perspective then give to the less fortunate because it’s what a mature, decent, caring person does. If you’re giving because you want to be the hero, or if you’re giving because you want people to weep in gratitude for your incredible generosity then you’re doing it for the wrong reason.
Are there people who are abusing the system? Of course. Are there people who get angry because they got Jason’s Deli instead of McDonalds? Yes, that’s been documented. But I’d rather err on the side of providing a hand up to people who are ungrateful and who are abusing the system than to miss people who genuinely need help.
Being resentful because someone got something you didn’t is actually kind of childish. So let’s get past this phase of not wanting to share our kindergarten toys and be decent human beings.
At least that’s what Tuffy says.
I don’t sleep with him..I swear to God I don’t.
Comments (19)
Just visiting from the “Grown-ups” blogring.
I agree with you completely.
YES!! and AMEN! I agree with all my heart. I set my son Doug as an example for this. He taught school in New Orleans for 2 years as part of the Teach for America program. He was placed in the French Quarters where he was the ONLY white teacher/person in the school. During that first year he had a terrible time of it, here is this kid who was born and raised in SO CA and had NO EXPERIENCE with blacks, thus no preconcieved notions. He was treated very badly by some of the kids parents who told their kids they did not have to listen “to that white man”. Indeed, towards the middle of the year, one of the parents falsely accused him of harming their child. He was cleared of the charges, but at a great emotional and financial cost. Yet he finished out his 2 year contract, and in the end grew to love that city and its people. When the hurricane hit he was one of the first TFA alums to organize fund raisers even though he is in Japan at the moment. I am proud of his response and the dignity with which he faced his ordeal. I am prouder still that he reaches out to the very same people that were not so nice to him. I wish we would all be kinder to one another!
A good word from both Jesus and Tuffy the Tiger. We need more generosity in the world & it has been good to see many people responding to the Katrina victims.
Kudos, Mark!
Your stories are always so rich because of their truth. Thank you for never providing me with the stories that you have from your childhood. Your response has always been the highest road – a refusal to allow anyone to undergo the same difficulties you did. If that were applied as a “Pay it forward” principle, the world could be a much, much, better place. But then what would we do with the Right Wing Nut Jobs…and the Left Wing Nut Jobs…
I hope someday you get the opportunity to tell the story of the pennyrollers here, or in your book. I’ve been thinking about those ideas a lot recently with the gulf tragedies and the displaced people. Your life has a wealth of experience that the world could do to learn from.
I love the penny rollers story.
And you’ve inspired me to write my own story about my childhood and the stuffed animal that represents it (my Shamu, which I do actually still sleep with when Jordan isn’t here. I could tell my own set of sob stories. You know, like how my mother raised me all by herself on a horrible paying job working 60-80 hours a week and how she sacrificed everything so that I could have that stereo and the waterbed and that outfit from Dillards complete with the Blossom hat. Like how I was always surrounded by a wonderful, loving family that even though we never had much money, we always gave everyone gifts at Christmas even if we got them half off at the Dollar Store.
Yeah, tough times right? Not for me certainly, but my mom did go through tough times, and she’s still one of the most generous people I know.
This, and the Tuffy piece, are nice posts. I am not a “Christian” in the southern baptist sense of the word. But I am overjoyed to read you post that shows, in this small piece of scripture, what I always thought Christianity was supposed to be about. If I felt like people in the church were more in line with your interpretation, I would even consider going again. I have some thinking to do. Thanks.
I believe your story. Perhaps some day you can write about it in a book.It might be hard to write about it but it is a good story to share.It might offer encouragement to someoe who needs it when they need it.
I think people distance themselves from people in need with moral judgements because if they identified with them they would have to see that they too could be in a state of crisis and in need and thats just too scary to think about.
I have a deep respect for poor people. First of all I used to be poor and I respect the poor person I was as much as the middle class person I have become. Secondly economic status does not equate with character or lack of it.The working poor should earn more then they do…not by working more hours but by being paid a fair wage. A good example are nurses aides..people who do the hands on care for our elderly and frail and sick…most live on wages that barely provide for the basics…and do work most of us would be overwhelmed by.
I could no more not help the evacuees then I could refuse to help family
Thanks for an excellent post.
Wonderful!!
Just found your site and have to comment super quick!
EXCELLENT post! Very well written and expressed!!
WEll………So many people have given and given and given for one disaster after another in these trying times, but I really dont blame them for not giving too much to some of those people who instead of being grateful are hateful towards those that try to help them…If this happened in a third world country, the feelings of gratefulness would be overwhelming – and also the good feeling you get from helping another human being, but this disaster happened to people who are NOT chosing to be grateful nor happy. And maybe thats it – these people are not very nice – they werent before this happened and they will not be after, no matter how much help is given to them…..(nice is such a weird word – but for lack of a better one…)
Just my humble opinion.
Oh no fair !! Some spoiled kid had broken glass to play with ?
Another beautifully written piece. (You may rarely do serious, but it’s worth the wait.)
And ryc: Thank you.
ryc: I was sort of hoping for the Pat Boone does Metal epic. That pic of him, shirtless, in the leather vest. Wowza !!
Hmmm, I kinda feel guilty now for not doing more and being more charitable. You know we think that because we donated to this or that or because we tithe and give to this orr that charity we are fine…but the reality is that God calls us to help the poor and needy and the elderly and the reality is that I could…and should do more than I have. Ugh.
I am very impressed and moved that you managed to rise above those circumstances to become the wonderful man that you are today. At least, from what I see and read here. (Unless, of course, you really are a serial killer and body part trophy keeper. In which case, I retract everything I just said.)
Darrianne, you should see the cereal box on top of his stereo…just don’t look inside.
So….does all this mean you’re going to share your Tuffy with the rest of us???
Me first me first!!!
Wow, what an awesome post. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I don’t think God asks us to give to the less fortunate “if you think they deserve it….:” or “if they haven’t messed up their chances….:’ or with any other conditions…. I, too am tired of people who self righteously think they can tell who deserves their help and who doesn’t. God helps me even when I don’t deserve it……
Well said.