“So this is working out very well for them” – Barbara Bush
or
Why Compassionate Conservatism is an oxymoron.
Those of us who are white, middle aged, middle class, middle Americans should pat ourselves on the back. Why? Because it’s 2005, the Civil Rights Movement is a distance memory, and racism has been abolished.
Bullshit.
Do you know how I know this isn’t true? Because I’m a white, middle aged, middle class, middle American and I’m a racist.
Oh, I certainly don’t mean to be. After all, I’m a Clinton loving, tree hugging, affirmative action, bleeding heart liberal. There couldn’t possibly be a shred of racism in my being, could there? Yet, I see it in myself sometimes, like a low grade infection that multiple courses of antibiotics haven’t been able to completely wipe out.
Racism use to be blatant. Now, more often, it tends to be subtle and therefore much more insidious. The more blatant type often raises its ugly head in places you wouldn’t normally expect it. A case in point from my personal history:
As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts, I used to be a full time minister. My first church out of college was the First Baptist Church of a tiny community in south-central Oklahoma. I was the youth director and for my first big activity I organized an all night party (affectionately referred to as a “lock-in”). I rented out the High School cafeteria, hired a Christian rock band, picked a few movies to watch, and prepared enough junk food to feed an army of adolescents. And an army arrived. 174 teenagers attended that lock-in. This is significant because our little church only had about 100 or so members. The next day I got a call from the chairman of the youth committee asking me to attend a hastily called meeting. I was certain they were bringing me in to shower me with accolades and to tell me I was the best youth director they had ever had. As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, that is not what happened. I walked in to a room full of stern faces. They sat me down and told me that I would no longer be allowed to organize such events. I was dumbfounded. “We had almost 200 kids at this event” I pleaded, “why would we not do things like this again? “Because”, they explained, “about 80 of those kids were black. Them black kids got their own church, and we don’t want them thinking they can come to ours.” (Are you beginning to see why I got disillusioned with the ministry?)
Step forward 25 years. Barbara Bush, while touring hurricane relief centers in Houston with her husband, made the following remark: “What I’m hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them.” This represents a more subtle form of racism (ok…maybe not THAT subtle). It’s not outward hatred, but it is an inward attitude of superiority and condescension which is the very definition of racism.
Personally, when it comes to being a racist, I have my bad moments and my good moments. A recent bad moment:
My wife and I were driving across Tulsa late one night when I noticed I needed to get gas. She suggested a convenience store a few miles ahead. I said, “I’m not sure I want to stop there. It’s really late and it’s not in the best part of town.” As soon the words came out of my mouth, I realized what it revealed about me. My wife asked me why I thought of it as the “bad part of town.” I had to admit that it was because the neighborhood was low-income, and the majority of residents are African American or Hispanic. Was my attitude racist? You bet your ass it was, and I’m ashamed of it.
The prognosis isn’t all bad though. About two months ago my company held its annual sales training meeting. Part of the curriculum involved some of the new sales recruits doing “selling simulations” while us old-timers rated their performances. One particular recruit (Reggie) really stood out. Later someone ask me, “so what did you think of the company’s first black salesman?” The question actually startled me because I had thought about Reggie as a talented salesperson. I had thought about Reggie as a friendly and outgoing person. I had also been thinking that Reggie was a great catch for our company, but up until that moment, it hadn’t occurred to me that he was black. I don’t mean to say he didn’t look African-American, he did. My mind had just never categorized him in that way. In that moment I felt a glimmer of hope that I might one day evolve into a person who completely embodies the sentiments I so fervently espouse.
Racism will continue to exist until we can celebrate the riches of ethnic heritage while, at the same time, be completely blind to that heritage as it relates to our attitudes about the value of our fellow travelers on planet earth.
Barbara Bush (and the rest of the Bush clan) may call themselves “Compassionate Conservatives” but her attitude reveals she’s still a racist, even if it is a subtle one.
What do your attitudes reveal?
Comments (18)
This is a powerful and moving piece, but I’m going to disagree on one point. I don’t think Barbara Bush displays subtlety at all. I’m really bothered these last few days, by a sort of backlash against the hurricane victims. The poor black ones, at least. Someone actually said that if it weren’t for people like Jackson and Sharpton pointing out and highlighting racism, that it would cease to exist. WTF ?? People might cease to be aware of it, which in turn would allow it to flourish, but perhaps that’s what the purpose is behind this campaign.
Every time I think we’ve made progress…
Sadly, I tend to be very judgemental of people as you were at the gas station…BUT….I am that way pretty well with ANY color of people….stereotype way to quick. It’s sad. We are human and will always have thoughts like that. I have some friends who are black and you are exactly right….when I get to know them, I don’t even realize they are black….I guess that’s because I have taken the time to see their heart and not just their skin color. Very good post.
One of the few times I wholeheartedly agreed with SC Justice Sandra Day O’Connor was when she said during a racial ruling (paraphrased) “There may come a day in human history where the legal system does not have to protect groups of different races from harming one another. There may be a day when the legal system does not have to protect groups of different genders from harming one another. I pray for that day. But today, and no day in the forseeable future, is that day.”
GREAT post! I always thought since I was a liberal and so eager to treat everyone equally, that I was above racism, that was, until I read the Autobiography of Malcom X and I realized I was a huge racist because I was treating people specially because they were black or gay or retarded, not because they were actual people I might enjoy and respect. I still had a condescending attitude to everyone, I just covered it up thinking I was better than OTHER whites because I didn’t treat them as badly.
Since reading that book (and rereading and rereading rereading) it’s opened my eyes to so much about what equality really is. I know I am still racist to a degree, and I firmly believe a large part of that has to do with American mentality which will hopefully one day be erased, but for the most part I keep it in check and a lot of the time I am able to see people just as they are and not as a black man, or lesbian or whatever else FIRST.
P.S. I NEVER thought it was true until I moved out here, but racism is worse in the north! At least in the south racists are open about it, but here it’s so covered up that I you wouldn’t even notice how stuble it is until you really pay attention to the way people interact up here. I hate it!
hmm…interesting. I don’t consider myself a racist. BUT I do have little respect for people, no matter what race, color or religion, that are perfectly capable of working, and don’t because they would rather have it given to them. And THAT attitude costs THIS country alot…there’s no reason a person shouldn’t be earning their OWN money if they are fit and able to work. Period.
I have not had employment since 1989.
But, I manage to make upwards of $100,000 a year because I refused to collect food stamps and welfare. I did what I had to with what I knew, and persisted until I made enough to support myself. I didn’t go to college. I don’t have ANY training doing what I’m doing (until just a month ago) and yet I’ve been doing it for 13 years.
I’m sorry if I sound brash, but I’m sick of people feeling sorry for the so called underpriveledged. I was underpriveledged, but I REFUSED to have anyone tell me how much I was entitled to. I went out and made my own way, with no help from anyone. If I can do that, so can all of them.
I’d also like to add that I don’t think racist is a good word for it, since that word is so incredibly value-laden now and means things that we dont mean when we say “I’m racist.” I’ll have to think about this…
I’m not sure either. I’ll pass comment on this as well. I love Barb and don’t think she meant anything bad about her comment.
Before we moved out to the country we were in a lower class neighborhood in OKC. It’s unfortunate to say, but the majority were black. Did I mind that? Not as bad as some neighborhoods. Besides, we lived there for 9 years.
It wasn’t the color of the person’s skin that bothered me…it was the crimes commited and the gun shots at night. White, Back and Latino…and that seems to come about in lesser desired neighborhoods.
Great post, Mark. I appreciate your candor and your honesty. What is it about our society that it feels the need to label or stereotype everyone? I’ve been guilty of it too, altho’ as I get older, I’m hopefully engaging my brain more before opening my mouth, and rethinking some of those stereotypical statements, catching myself before uttering them. Because often enough, they don’t represent how I feel or think, they are more of a conditioned response, ingrained in me by the society in which I live. Oppression doesn’t recognize skin color. Why do we?
xoxoxo
Honestly, as a female, I am pretty much afraid of any male that is taller than me (which is pretty much everyone). Its a safety thing for me. My thoughts would have been “I’m not stopping at this gas station in the wrong part of town, because something will happen to me.” It doesn’t matter the skin color. This, I fear, has been taught to me by my dad. I am always aware of the worst case scenario.
Good post Mark….as always.
An interesting post, but I’m not sure I completely agree. What Barbara Bush said might be a form of classism, a slur against the poor, but that’s not necessarily the same as racism. The convoluting of the two could be, in itself, a racist assumption.
Also, when you said that convenience store wasn’t in the best part of town… were you really thinking about the skin color of the people who live there, or does the area have a reputation for having a lot of crime?
I don’t mean to deny racism exists, both overtly and subtly. But I sometimes think we so much expect to see racism wherever we look, that we mis-identify other wrongs.
well..i wouldn’t have stopped at thatgas station. Sometimes, God gives us the noggin power to know “Maybe I could get robbed if I go in there.” There are some skanky mean whities, some skanky mean black people, and some mean skanky . I am sooooo tired of even thinking of it. I just wrote an outpour of my racial feelings the other day.
I think a young man I knew put it best when he commented in class that the student claiming not to be racist because he had a black friend nullified his own statement by qualifying the color of the friend. The same young man waved his hand in front of my face one day. “Do you see this color?” I said, “Yes, it’s beautiful….especially smeared across your face like that.” He’d been waving a pen in the hand he put under my nose. If I’m in a bad neighborhood (classifed by crime rate) and you approach me at night, I’m going to be scared of you regardless of color. If I’m in a good neighborhood and you walk past me in daylight, I’m going to smile and say hello to you regardless of color.
Regarding the church thing, a fellow writer has been making a collection of stories for a book that she has titled–Ain’t No One Can Do You Like Church Folk Do.
I was really disappointed in Barbara Bush. I thought she was a decent first lady, especially after wacky Nancy Reagan. Right now I’m liking Nancy and her stem-cell research campaign, but Barbara, not so much.
I live in a county with a 3% black population. I don’t think of myself a racist, more as unfamiliar. I was born in 1960 and grew up in an area where African Americans were referred to by the “N-word”. I seriously didn’t know it was a bad thing until almost junior high. Things are different now, but….. When my Niece brought home her elementary school yearbook, an older family member was paging through it, slipped and said, “Oh, you have a little *racial slur* girl in your class!” My niece looked at her with a puzzled look and said, “What’s THAT?” How wonderful that in almost ten years of life, she had never even heard that word!
I really liked this post. I feel the same way you do about these things. Many of us wrestle with our biases daily. Thos that don’t – well, they should.
Racism is brought to me in many different ways – I am Chicana and live in Seattle. Seattle is the land of the liberal……..HA! Racism is everywhere and it will hit you when you least expect it. I am used to be being the last one to be waited on and am surprized when I am not, I am used to being given wrong directions, so I have many maps…..I was once told to come back at 3pm to get my hair cut, because of the long wait, only to find that the store closed at 3pm….And to find help in a jewerly store?? forget it!!!
There are two ways I can go with this rude behavior – get mad, or be amused…..I CHOOSE to be amused…..I turn the tables and say to myself “poor uneducated person, doesnt know any better, probably comes from an unfortunate broken family, with no morals and values, I should be kind to such a poor person.” In this way, I refuse to play the game of “them” trying to make me feel inferior. I am NOT but they just dont know it yet –
as you know, i am a southern baptist, and i am shocked to hear that spiritual leaders in a church were to say that! i have never heard that in any church i have been to, but then again i am still young, and i am sure that i will hear it. it really saddens me that people can be so ignorant and just plain mean. but, i too, sometimes fall into stereoptyping races, i even have a joke with my best friend that she is “the whitest black girl you’ll ever see.” before anyone gets upset, let me explain that we grew up together, and she was always rejected in school for not being “black enough” and for just being black, too. it makes me hurt for her, but i know that there is nothing i can do but pray and try to change other’s opinions with my example. so, with all that saud, i guess that we must just keep on trying to change the world one prejudice at a time. that’s one reason why i have chosen to become a teacher, because i want to change these things in our society. sorry for this little rant, but i was compelled to put in my two cents…
There is hope in our children. I wanted my kids to go to a “magnet” school in our town. I loved their philosophy. They “pull” children from all areas of town and put them together in one school. I caught a great deal of flack from family because the school was not in “a good part of town.” The experience was good for my kids. They were “mixed” in with all types of families. Poor, rich, people of color, etc… Now as I read your post and everyone’s comments I see that by getting to know one another is one way to overcome some of our prejudice. People would actually ask me if I was afraid to go to a game or PTA meeting on that side of town at night. Funny, I thought, I never even thought about it. I knew “those” people and felt safe. Most of them would have moved, but that was the only area they could afford to live in. Drugs and desperate times make for more crime, but that didn’t make everyone I met bad. I feel good about that experience for both me and my kids. Hopefully, it was a step in the right direction as my son has a very passionate post about Katrina and all the wrongs of treating “people” in such a way. Jump Back!