August 23, 2005

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  POLITICAL-SPEAK 101

  
  

   

  
  

  Yesterday, during a broadcast of the “700”Club, Evangelist/Politician Pat Robertson suggested that American agents should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Robertson stated, “We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability.”

  
  

   

  
  

  If you’re anything like me, you greeted this statement with drop-jawed, dumbfounded, WTF, amazement.

  
  

   

  
  

  Let me begin by saying that Robertson has always reminded me of the quintessential “creepy uncle” that nobody in the family talks about. Every time I see him on TV doing his kindly grandfather routine, I think; “someone should go dig up his backyard to see if he has any bodies buried there.”

  
  

   

  
  

  Pat, who at one point was actually a presidential candidate, violated the first rule of “political-speak: you might think something, but that doesn’t mean you have to say it out-loud.

  
  

   

  
  

  This rule is applicable whether the politics in question are national politics, office politics, or even sexual politics. Allow me to provide a couple of examples:

  
  

   

  
  

  If someone in your office were to say to you, “do you think that Bob should be given responsibility for the big new account we just landed?”  You might think; “Bob is a slobbering, mouth-breathing, Neanderthal who can’t find his ass with both hands. I don’t think Bob has the I.Q. necessary to open an aspirin bottle, so hell no, I don’t think he should be given responsibility for our new account.”  It might not be politically prudent to say that out-loud, however, so instead, you might reply with; “I think that the specific demands created by this account don’t play directly into Bob’s unique strengths. Perhaps Bob would be more suited to undertaking some tasks in our mail-sorting division.”

  
  

   

  
  

  The rule applies to sexual politics as well.  If a woman says “will you respect me in the morning?” the man might be thinking; “respect you in the morning!?! I don’t respect you right now. In fact, I don’t even remember your name. And what I will or will not do in the morning is a moot point, because I don’t plan to be here. My motto is get off then get out.” but he would NEVER say that out-loud. (Disclaimer to female readers: the thought process related above has never run through my mind, I am simply reporting the crude, narcissistic behavior I have heard reported in other males.)

  
  

   

  
  

  Is Robertson really stupid enough to believe that making a comment like that on national television will have no political repercussions? We already appear to be a blood-thirsty nation to most of the remainder of the world. Pat is not helping our image.

  
  

   

  
  

  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a “first amendment” liberal all the way. If Pat wants to make asinine comments, I will certainly be the first to defend his right to do so. I just thank God that Pat is still his evangelist and not our President.

  • 5:16 pm
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