January 14, 2005
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My job requires a great deal of travel. A business day for me typically consists of two hours of intense meetings during which I try to convince clients that it really is in their best interest to give me lots and lots of money, while the other six hours is taken up by driving from point A to point B in some nondescript rental car while I try desperately to keep my brain occupied.
One of my tricks for keeping said brain occupied is hitting the scan button on the radio until I land on a local talk show. There is nothing quite like regional talk-radio to give you a taste of the local “flavor”. I’ve been traveling a great deal lately in
This morning I was driving through the beautiful hills of southern
Three thoughts immediately went through my mind. The first was “apparently, I’ve been grossly misinformed. I thought we were at war with the Iraqi insurgency.” Secondly I thought, “I wonder if this means that homosexuals are harboring the weapons of mass destruction that President Bush has been so desperately searching for?” Finally I thought “wouldn’t the agenda of the host be better served if he had at least a SLIGHTLY better command of the English language?”
I was a music major in college and I spent about ten years acting, producing, and serving as musical director for several area theater groups. I realize that it might be considered stereotyping to say that gay people tend to be attracted to the arts. Experience, however, has taught me that the number of gays in the arts is perhaps more than just a statistical anomaly. In fact, the prop mistress on one show I directed used to wear a t-shirt to rehearsals that proclaimed “I can’t even THINK straight.” What I’m trying to say is that I’ve known a lot of gay people over the years. These friendships have broadened my horizons, such as the time I was taken to my one and only drag show after a rehearsal. I was told later that during the show the only phrase I was able to utter was “wait a minute…that’s a guy?!?!?!”
I feel my numerous friendships over the years gives me enough background to dismiss two popular myths about gays:
Myth #1: Gays want everyone else to be gay too. One of my college roommates was gay. When I came back to our dorm room late from a date and he was already asleep I would try to get ready for bed without turning on the light so I wouldn’t disturb him. As soon as I got settled into bed, however, the reading light over his bed would snap on and he would begin reading out loud to me the more “instructional” portions of Tim LaHaye’s The Act of Marriage. I think this indicates that he not only didn’t want me to be gay, but that if I was destined to be heterosexual, he wanted to make certain I was doing it correctly.
Myth#2: Gays routinely proposition straight people. In all the years I have had gay friends I have never once been hit on. I’m ok with that because I’m a heterosexual, and a damn fine one at that. However, the more I think about it the more I think I should be offended by the fact that I’ve never been hit on. I mean, what’s wrong with me? Am I not GOOD enough?!?!?
Despite my silliness, you might think that I believe that all people who feel threatened by gays are ignorant, in-bred, hate mongers like the talk show host. That’s not true, many of the people I know that feel threatened by gays are actually highly educated, well-bred, hate mongers.
The point is simply that there are real evils in the world that we should be at war with and the homosexual community is not one of them. Why do we hate that which is different from us? Why do we feel threatened by it? I don’t know, but I wish I had a cure for it.
Comments (5)
AWWWW….what a great post!!! I love this one. My best friend (male) was gay and he was the greatest friend I ever had. I could talk to him better than any female I have ever been friends with. He died two years ago and I still have a horrible time without him. I have been around many gay people and my theory is “to each his own.” It does not make them an ax murderer or a child molester or anything bad. I loved this entry…very well spoken.
Yes. Very good.
But hey, at least you’ve got people admitting that homosexuals exist. I recently proposed a Gay/Straight Alliance for my highschool to the board of education. Newspapers took notice and a day later kids all over school were picking up the paper. The most overheard comment in the hallways: “Wait … there’s gay kids at Oak Forest?!”
And most recently in one of the Sociology/Psych classes: “All I wanna know is how many there are and what their names are.”
Hrmph.
~Liam
Father, you are the most insightful and funniest man I know. I’ve gotten a variety of phone calls about this entry already. You really need to be the next Dave Barry.
You know I agree. I regularly attend PFLAG functions with friends in Waco and support the GLB community here. It’s so underground, because it has to be, that I really enjoy subversive activity in that regard. I have a group of friends that occasionally shows up at the remanants of the Pirate’s Cove. They took much enjoyment of locating the second group of your hate-mongers and making them feel as impossibly uncomfortable as possible.
I couldn’t agree with you more. I have, however, been hit on by gay friends. I guess I’m just awesome.
It’s nice to know that not all of middle aged Americans are homophobes. I’m not so sure about kids my age.
Once again, well put!!
I nearly fell out of my chair when I read the comment about the English Language. That’s too funny. I guess their Mamas learned them good. <grin>
I agree with Boofshavik…Here comes the next Dave Barry. Keep making us laugh, it makes my day.
JLa