My incredible son and his equally incredible fiancé have both made recent posts about the growth that has occurred in their lives during their time at Baylor. Watching my son through this period has been one of the greatest joys of my life. He never ceases to astound me and I simply could not be prouder of the person he has become.

One of my most vivid memories of this time is dropping him off at Baylor at a debate event after he and I had gone skiing in New Mexico together. This was just before he started school full time at Baylor. He got his luggage out of the trunk, we said goodbye, and I got back in my car to drive back to Tulsa. I pulled away a few feet and stopped to turn a corner. I looked up in my rear-view mirror and just happened to catch a glimpse of him walking away with his luggage in hand. That mental image (and all that it implied) took my breath away and it will forever be seared into my brain.

He is a much different person that he was when he walked away from my car that day, and I knew he was going to be. I remember a moment just before he left for school that I started to try and tell him how much he would be changing over the next four years. I didn’t say anything though because I knew that I couldn’t explain it, he would simply have to live it.

And he has lived it, in remarkable and extraordinary ways.

A fellow adult/parent blogger posted an excellent question. They listed some “Rules of Civility” that have passed the test of time for them but then ask “What are the modern rules of civility?”

Below is the their list. Below that is an idea of how I think those might read for a politically correct generation. (Please note that I wrote most of them with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek). Let me know your thoughts.

Their list:

1. If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all.
   
2. A lady doesn’t refer to any part of the body, or anything having to do with sex or pregnancy or “female troubles” in mixed company.
   
3. Don’t take the name of the Lord in vain, and don’t cuss. That means don’t say “OMG” or even “gosh” because someone may mis-hear you and think you cussed. And, of course “D___” or the F word etc etc is absolutely out of the question. If you hit your hand with a hammer you might choose to say “dang” or “shoot” but its better to say nothing at all. Believe it, this is what a teacher told me.
   
4. Don’t recline in public.
   
5. Open the door and let the older person go in front of you.
   
6. Gentlemen should open the doors, including the car doors, and let you go first.
   
7. Don’t whisper, or speak in a foreign language unless everyone can understand it.

The “Update”:

1.       If you can’t say something without repeatedly saying either “like”, “you know”, or “totally” please, please, shut up.

2.       A woman should be able to talk about any subject she wishes too, and men should listen, because time has taught me that, as a species, women are generally brighter than men.

3.       As a rule, foul language only displays ignorance. However, a well placed curse word conveys an intensity of emotion that other words cannot. If it’s good enough for Twain, Faulkner, Hemingway, and Thomas Pynchon, who am I to argue?

4.       I don’t care if you recline in public, but for God’s sake will you pull your pants up? I don’t want to see your underwear regardless of how cute you think it makes you look.

5.       Demonstrate respect and regard for all people. Age, sex, station, etc. are completely irrelevant. In other words, if you reach a door first, hold that door for whoever is behind you. If you happen to be an able bodied woman and the person behind you is a man, the rule still applies.

6.       Learn to speak the language of whatever country you happen to live in. But remember, much of the rest of the world is bi-lingual as a rule and multi-lingual in many cases. We Americans just look arrogant and stupid when we refuse to learn other languages.

I just got out of a progress meeting at my office. It was regarding a project that we are working on where we discovered that the engineer forgot to specify about $5,000.00 of materials on a job that are going to be needed to make a particular system work. We were discussing options when someone came up with the idea of giving them a lesser quality item than what we sold them on another portion of the job in order to make up the monetary difference. This person went on to say, “They will never know the difference.”

When that much money is at stake, that’s a tempting thing to do, but I’m about to tell you why that can’t even enter the realm of possibility…

I’ve noticed on several blogs that folks are posting top ten lists. So for all of my son’s friends who are about to graduate and enter the work force, here is my top ten list of things I’ve learned about succeeding in business:

1. While I believe in a fairly gray world, business ethics are pretty black and white. Always do the ethical thing because anything done in darkness is going to come to light. You may think you have it covered up, but it’s going to come back and bite you in the ass.
   
2. Be content to do the right thing. It might not always bring the biggest paycheck but you can sleep at night
   
3. A happy customer brings referrals; an unhappy customer will make your life a living hell.
   
4. Show everyone at your place of business the same level of respect, you don’t know which one of them you might be working for later.
   
5. Although you may be a genius, getting other people’s point of view can be very enlightening. You don’t know everything even if you think you do.
   
6. Do more than you’re asked to do.
   
7. Be creative.
   
8. If you make a mistake, come up with a plan to rectify the problem and then admit the mistake immediately to your supervisor. Offer your suggestion about what to do, but then ask your supervisor what they would like for you to do.
   
9. Take accolades with humility. Nobody likes a showboat.
   
10. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Have fun, life is much to short not too.

These suggestions won’t make you rich and won’t appear in any motivational book. Donald Trump won’t read them on “The Apprentice” (even though he does have that spectacular comb-over!).  Even though some of these were learned the hard way, they continue to serve me well.